So, I don't really know what to do with this journal these days. I guess I can't separate what I want to write from knowing that it will be read. I have so much to do in the next couple of weeks/months. Parties, travel, speeches to write. Well, a speech anyway. I haven't so much as written several coherent sentences in a row (I'm not counting this ( Read more... )

So, my excuse was that I didn't have a client. Now I do. That is all.

 So, I'm staying in New Orleans for at least another year, barring something drastic happening. It's going to be interesting.

 So they offered me another job to stay in the lab. I haven't gotten a formal offer yet, or figured out if it's going to affect my benefits, and I haven't heard back from Switzerland, but this means I'll have to make a decision very, very soon. Fuck.

 Once again. I might actually start writing in this thing more. There are events that I feel are better covered here than in facebook notes. It's going to be a wild ride.

I just want it to be written down somewhere that, except for last night's obvious reasons, I have had nightmares about the trip I am taking tomorrow for the last five or six nights consecutively.

I love you.

That's all.

Why is it that people say "not tonight" instead of "you know what, I really have absolutely no interest in you whatsoever, but instead of just telling you, I'm just going to do a really shitty job of making you think that's not the case and string you along for as long as possible so that I can maximize how much this will hurt you ( Read more... )

You know what's sad? One day, someone who legitimately likes me will do something sweet for me and I will break down and cry because I will be so surprised that it was happening that I won't know what else to do. And whoever it is will be really confused. And that's entirely your fault.

You know what's interesting: if I put the number of times I've been told to stop trying to mess around with someone over the number of times that they've come crawling back, the ratio is really, really close to one. Not that I expect you or anyone else to break. I just recognize that keeping yourself from something you enjoy is pointless.

No we can't just be friends and no I won't talk to you about it and no I won't sit there and watch you be happy with someone else and no I refuse to be okay with this and no I won't talk to you about it and no you wouldn't understand even if I did and no things probably won't ever change and no you don't have to do anything about it and no there's ( Read more... )