A career choice from the past
As you all know I toyed with the idea of film school in the junior and senior year, so today, the day of Katie’s birth, I give you a screen play that Daniel and I (and Kire sort of) wrote for my comedy genre. Enjoy.
Socrates Eats a Midnight Snack
Setting- Fletchington, California
Characters
Sebastian Brooks- A mild mannered loser whose interests include photography and film.
Tallulah Banks- an eccentric video student dating Clark DeLancey.
Rocco McKinney- A very slow and slightly dim comic book enthusiast who enjoys midnight walks along the comic book store… BEST friend to Sebastian.
Brooklyn Davis- Friend of Sebastian. She is very dark and usually pessimistic and sarcastic. The only thing is, she plays concert violin.
Clark DeLancey- Dating Tallulah. Fierce rival of Sebastian… without his knowledge. Actor galore.
Mr. Magoo - not in this film
Gina Larynx- Supreme nerd and also supreme choir girl. Has a lisp which is unimportant information. And is in love with Sebastian.
Mrs. Davis- Mother to Brooklyn although most don’t know this. She’s really hip and a hip teacher at the school that means that she’s a cool teacher not that she teaches about hips.
EXTRAAAAAAAS
Sebastian- (audio over words typed) Scene 1
Setting- at school staring at camera… I talk to the camera sometimes…
Sebastian- OK LET’S GET STARTED!!!! First let me introduce myself. My name is Seabass. ( hes silent for awhile, it is made very obvious that hes done with his sentence.)
Rocco- Actually his name is…
Sebastian- Tian!!! You didn’t let me finish!!! My name is Sebastian. And my last name is none of your business. But I will tell you anyway if you write to me in a formal letter asking for it. My address is: Sebastian Brooks, 4839 Learner Dr., Fletchington, Ca 93942-7348-7. Now that the introductions are done…
Rocco- (looks sad but doesn’t say anything)
Sebastian- oh, hey sorry pal. This is…
Rocco- I can introduce myself! My name is Rocco Moralis … McKinney!! Sorry, not Moralis, and this is… wait… I mean, my name is Rash and I have a rocco! (starts hyperventilating).
Sebastian: OK ok calm down. Remember, this is my movie. You’re ruining the intimacy between me and the viewers! I should be doing the introductions. So anyway, I’m Sebastian and this is my story. Well it will be… we haven’t really started the movie yet. Right now you may be wondering about our odd sort of friendship. You may be asking yourself, how did they meet? If you’re not asking yourself that right now then you better because otherwise I will be answering a question that no one has asked.
(Fades in to a comic book convention where action is being acted out while monologue plays.)
Sebastian- I met Rocco at a comic book convention. He was the smallest one there and he was getting beaten up by some Vulcans. I stepped in to save the day by using my level 9 wizard skills.
(Fades back to the two of them standing)
Sebastian- From that day on he pledged his undying yet sometimes attention-wavering loyalty and friendship. He also has a chronic fear of Vulcans.
Sebastian: Hark! Me thinks-ith some yonder nightingale doth aprocheth!
Brooklyn- (enters) (not so cheerily) hi guys.
Sebastian: Why it’s our dear friend Brooklyn. We met in a candy shop called Finklemyer’s down on 34th street and…
Brooklyn- Ok I’m going to step in here. I usually don’t talk to the camera but I can’t stand when Sebastian makes things up about me like he made up that Rocco is afraid of Vulcans.
Rocco- No that really is true.
Brooklyn- Anyway,
( fades into the following action being played out while her monologue continues)
I was in the band room, practicing my Violin, when I heard noises. I walked outside to find Sebastian and Rocco getting beaten up by Vulcans. I promptly called principal Harley…
Sebastian- (cuts in) King Harley.
Brooklyn-(annoyed) You’re the only one who calls him “King.” (under her breath) dork.
Sebastian- I’m taking back over now. King Harley saved the day and Brooklyn joined our circle of friends.
Brooklyn- Well, whatever. Listen I need you guys to do me a favor…
Sebastian- (cuts her off) Now! For a very important issue… Tallulah Banks.
(Corny music plays as the camera fades in to a slow motion picture of Tallulah taking her hair out of a pony tail and other cliché things. Fade out to scene two, while its fading out Sebastian says the following.)
Sebastian- Hey I wasn’t finished…
Scene 2
The plot begins…finally.
Setting- in the video room.
Tallulah- And that concludes my movie about what would happen if my dog and cat fought to the death. I though the cat, the weaker of the two species, represented those less fortunate than ourselves, while the dog represented the bitter cruel world always… always chasing the weak, always behind their shoulders! The dog could use his greater strength to help the cat, but instead! Instead, he uses it to silence the cat! Keep it down! This is injustice! This is a crime against humanity! This is…!
Teacher: that’s enough Tallulah
Tallulah: Sorry, mam. Ok I’m done.
(Sebastian claps and no one else does.)
Teacher- Ok, well… that was…interesting.
Sebastian- (to camera) So you’ve pretty much figured out that Tallulah is the girl of my dreams now. And if you haven’t then I just ruined it for you.
Teacher- Sebastian, where is your film?
Sebastian- Right here Mrs. Crepatlicknarchen. (Gets up and puts movie in the VCR or whatever, then addresses the class) Ok so my movie is about the social and political disruption in the cafeteria. It is a documentary about the controversy of serving armadillo skins instead of French fries. (Plays movie and fades to next scene)
Sebastian- Scene 3
I got beaten up after class.
Sebastian- (complaining to Rocco who joined him somehow) Everyone hated my movie.
Rocco- That’s no surprise, I hated it too.
Sebastian- Shut up! Of course you did, you weren’t supposed to like it! When I said everyone I was really only talking about…
Tallulah-(runs up behind him) Hey I liked your movie!
Sebastian-(taken aback)Well… (recovers) Well, well My Lady, I’m glad that my cinimatographical achievement seems to have infatuated you so well. Shall we dance the night away?
Tallulah- Indeed we shall fair Sebastian.
(They break out in “Till there was you” from Music man, they are suddenly dancing in a ballroom, in fancy clothes and Rocco is dancing around them. As Brooklyn plays the violin. This fades to his face.)
Sebastian- ok so that didn’t happen. It was actually just me singing. And that guy. (Cuts to crazy guy) And luckily Tallulah walked away in the middle of my song therefore limiting the amount of embarrassment.
(Brooklyn enters)
Brooklyn- Hey, so after a lot of thought I have decided that I am going to become a caveman.
Sebastian- Except she actually said something way more lame than that.
Brooklyn- You cut me off in the beginning. I tried to ask you for a favor
Sebastian- what kind of favor?
Brooklyn: See, my stupid mom invited people to my house for a party. I hate parties, she’s just trying to get me to have more friends.
Sebastian- Really? I would’ve thought she’d throw a party so she could hang out with all the popular kids like she always does.
Brooklyn: Well, whatever… you two have to go.
Sebastian- And why should we?
Brooklyn- Tallulah will be there
Sebastian- Yeah, ok.
Sebastian- (to camera) Tallulah, the girl of my dreams, what am I going to wear, what if she decides she hates me, what if…
Rocco- You do know we can hear you when you talk, right?
Sebastian- Oh yes, right.
(turns back to camera)
There’s only one small hitch in my girl getting plans, the fact that she’s dating Clark DeLancey, and also that last year when I tried to tell her that I liked her I dropped one of those small refrigerators on her foot breaking it in two places and they thought that she would never walk again.
Brooklyn- Why don’t you just tell the people about Clark?
Sebastian- Ok, I was getting there, so Clark, hes the meanest, evilest, most horrible person, ever, its proven that hes the cause of cancer and possibly Lupus. He..
Rocco- Oh, Clark? Actually hes pretty nice.
Brooklyn- Yeah didn’t he save that puppy from the burning building.
Rocco- Yeah! And he volunteers for the homeless shelter in his free time.
Sebastian- Silence! I hate you all!
(Enter Gina)
Gina- (with a lisp) Hello Sebastian (giggles).
Sebastian- Greetings.
Gina- Brooklyn, hey… I just heard about your party… sounds fun. I suppose you’ll be there, right Sebastian?
Sebastian- Yeah I’ll be there.
Gina- (squeals) - Intriguing… Well, I will see you there. (Frolics away).
(Off camera voice)- Who was that?
Sebastian- Oh, that was Gina Larynx, she’s apparently the coolest person ever because she’s 1st chair soprano, even though no one has ever heard her sing, she just stands onstage with sun glasses on.
Rocco- It’s a rumor that if human ears heard her singing they would explode.
(Off camera voice)- Ok, thanks for explaining.
Sebastian- No prob… wait, who the heck was that?
(They all get scared and run away)
Scene 3
Party
(The party is in full blast, there are tons of kids everywhere. Mrs. Davis is in the kitchen hanging out with all the cool kids hanging on her every word. Brooklyn, Sebastian and Rocco are sitting on the sofa, Brooklyn is looking board, Rocco is playing with a box of tissues and laughing, and Sebastian is watching a show in Spanish.)
Sebastian- So here we are, as usual Brooklyn’s mom is way more popular than us, which is depressing, but at least we have Spanish soap operas.
Tululah- Oh hey your watching “mi gato se forma como una tortilla” sweet.
Sebastian- You like this show?
Tallulah- Yeah, it’s only like my 6th favorite foreign language speaking show. It’s got a lot of topical propaganda that can be compared to the political instabilities of the relationship between super powers and third world countries.
Sebastian- …Lets get married.
Tallulah- Huh?
Sebastian- (Offers her potato chip) potato chip?
Tallulah- Oh sure!
(Clark enters, hes wearing a cowboy outfit and looks very angry)
Clark- Where have you been woman! I needed you to drive the get away car when I was stealing health care paraphernalia from old people.
Brooklyn- Sebastian! If you don’t start telling the story right I’m just going to…
Sebastian- Fiiiiiiiiine.
(Clark re-enters, this time in normal cloths with a sweet smile on his face.)
Clark- Oh hey honey (kisses her on he cheek) I brought you some pie.
Tallulah- Oh thank you (throws potato chip over her shoulder. Sebastian looks crushed but comically so)
Clark- Oh hey Sebastian (goes to give him a high five)
Sebastian- Hello enemy. (Doesn’t high five him)
(Clark stands there with his hand in the air uncomfortably until he shyly brushes his hair back with it.)
Clark- Ok, well anyway, Sebastian, I think Gina is looking for you. Thanks for inviting us Brooklyn. (they exit)
(Cut to video clip of Gina running around, knocking over children and what-not, she arrives, theres a small dog in her hair.)
Gina- Why hello Sebastian, fancy meeting you here.
Sebastian- Yeah, you knew I was going to be here…I told you…remember?
Gina- Oh yes, its all coming back to me now.
Sebastian- Hey Gina, this isn’t an episode of Scooby Do, what do you want?
Gina- Your love.
Sebastian- What?
Gina- This chair. (steals chair and runs out of house.)
Sebastian- And the next couple of hours went pretty much the same, except Rocco got in a fight with his tissue box and threw it and it hit some kid in the eye, most everybody went home then. I looked at the clock… midnight. I was hungry so I went to the kitchen.
( you can hear rustling as he gets closer to the kitchen, when he approaches the historical figure Socrates is eating everything in the kitchen)
Sebastian- Hey! What, no! Get out of here.
(Socrates runs out of the house, Sebastian goes and eats a cookie, Tallulah enters.)
Tallulah- Hey, who was that?
Sebastian- Hi, ummm (changes the subject) what are you still doing here?
Tallulah- Well, Clark left to try to get back the chair that Gina stole so I just kinda hung around here.
Sebastian- Oh, that’s great, hes really a nice guy isn’t he?
Tallulah- Yeah he is, but… never mind.
Sebastian- But what?
Tallulah- he doesn’t make me laugh, and he doesn’t sing to me in the middle of the quad either. Hey I’ve got to go, I…I’ll see you later.
Sebastian- Wait, I think its very important that you know that I like you very much and I’m sorry for almost paralyzing you with a mini refrigerator and I think your good…and great. (turns to camera) And I really wish that’s not really what I actually said, but it was.
Tallulah- Oh, ok then… I have to go. (runs out)
Sebastian- Wait, you don’t have a car!
Tallulah- I’ll run home!
Socrates- Well that went horribly, now didn’t it.
Sebastian- Shut up Socrates, no one cares what you think.
Scene 4
In Video class
Sebastian- (To camera) Well, after that life was pretty much the same, I still got beat up after video class and Tallulah still ignored me. Although Clark and her did break up. Apparently when Clark was trying to get back Brooklyn’s chair from Gina they really hit it off and started dating.
(Computer says “you’ve got mail’)
I’ve got one good thing going for me though, Rocco’s discovered those mildly amusing animated cards, so popular with middle aged women, and he sends them to me almost hourly so I can forget the pain and suffering that is my life.
(clicks mail folder, there are two e-mails, he opens the first one and it’s a lame animated postcard sent by Rocco, the second one is another lame animated post card that’s all cute and has some kind of lame love message, its from Tallulah.)
Tallulah- (from behind his shoulder) I thought you might want to know that I like you too. (She pulls him up off his chair from his collar and kisses him.)
Sebastian- (to camera) And that is exactly how it happened.
Scene 5
Two months later
Sebastian- Well life is good, although people in the world are still starving and Hilary Duff still exists, my teenage world is perfect. Brooklyn finally got to drop playing the violin and took up the electric guitar. Rocco got slightly less crazy, Tallulah and I are dating, and we all lived our lame high school careers happily and Vulcan-free ever after.
(Rocco runs across screen followed by a flock of Vulcans)
Question of the day
So Good or No Good?
Socrates Eats a Midnight Snack
Setting- Fletchington, California
Characters
Sebastian Brooks- A mild mannered loser whose interests include photography and film.
Tallulah Banks- an eccentric video student dating Clark DeLancey.
Rocco McKinney- A very slow and slightly dim comic book enthusiast who enjoys midnight walks along the comic book store… BEST friend to Sebastian.
Brooklyn Davis- Friend of Sebastian. She is very dark and usually pessimistic and sarcastic. The only thing is, she plays concert violin.
Clark DeLancey- Dating Tallulah. Fierce rival of Sebastian… without his knowledge. Actor galore.
Mr. Magoo - not in this film
Gina Larynx- Supreme nerd and also supreme choir girl. Has a lisp which is unimportant information. And is in love with Sebastian.
Mrs. Davis- Mother to Brooklyn although most don’t know this. She’s really hip and a hip teacher at the school that means that she’s a cool teacher not that she teaches about hips.
EXTRAAAAAAAS
Sebastian- (audio over words typed) Scene 1
Setting- at school staring at camera… I talk to the camera sometimes…
Sebastian- OK LET’S GET STARTED!!!! First let me introduce myself. My name is Seabass. ( hes silent for awhile, it is made very obvious that hes done with his sentence.)
Rocco- Actually his name is…
Sebastian- Tian!!! You didn’t let me finish!!! My name is Sebastian. And my last name is none of your business. But I will tell you anyway if you write to me in a formal letter asking for it. My address is: Sebastian Brooks, 4839 Learner Dr., Fletchington, Ca 93942-7348-7. Now that the introductions are done…
Rocco- (looks sad but doesn’t say anything)
Sebastian- oh, hey sorry pal. This is…
Rocco- I can introduce myself! My name is Rocco Moralis … McKinney!! Sorry, not Moralis, and this is… wait… I mean, my name is Rash and I have a rocco! (starts hyperventilating).
Sebastian: OK ok calm down. Remember, this is my movie. You’re ruining the intimacy between me and the viewers! I should be doing the introductions. So anyway, I’m Sebastian and this is my story. Well it will be… we haven’t really started the movie yet. Right now you may be wondering about our odd sort of friendship. You may be asking yourself, how did they meet? If you’re not asking yourself that right now then you better because otherwise I will be answering a question that no one has asked.
(Fades in to a comic book convention where action is being acted out while monologue plays.)
Sebastian- I met Rocco at a comic book convention. He was the smallest one there and he was getting beaten up by some Vulcans. I stepped in to save the day by using my level 9 wizard skills.
(Fades back to the two of them standing)
Sebastian- From that day on he pledged his undying yet sometimes attention-wavering loyalty and friendship. He also has a chronic fear of Vulcans.
Sebastian: Hark! Me thinks-ith some yonder nightingale doth aprocheth!
Brooklyn- (enters) (not so cheerily) hi guys.
Sebastian: Why it’s our dear friend Brooklyn. We met in a candy shop called Finklemyer’s down on 34th street and…
Brooklyn- Ok I’m going to step in here. I usually don’t talk to the camera but I can’t stand when Sebastian makes things up about me like he made up that Rocco is afraid of Vulcans.
Rocco- No that really is true.
Brooklyn- Anyway,
( fades into the following action being played out while her monologue continues)
I was in the band room, practicing my Violin, when I heard noises. I walked outside to find Sebastian and Rocco getting beaten up by Vulcans. I promptly called principal Harley…
Sebastian- (cuts in) King Harley.
Brooklyn-(annoyed) You’re the only one who calls him “King.” (under her breath) dork.
Sebastian- I’m taking back over now. King Harley saved the day and Brooklyn joined our circle of friends.
Brooklyn- Well, whatever. Listen I need you guys to do me a favor…
Sebastian- (cuts her off) Now! For a very important issue… Tallulah Banks.
(Corny music plays as the camera fades in to a slow motion picture of Tallulah taking her hair out of a pony tail and other cliché things. Fade out to scene two, while its fading out Sebastian says the following.)
Sebastian- Hey I wasn’t finished…
Scene 2
The plot begins…finally.
Setting- in the video room.
Tallulah- And that concludes my movie about what would happen if my dog and cat fought to the death. I though the cat, the weaker of the two species, represented those less fortunate than ourselves, while the dog represented the bitter cruel world always… always chasing the weak, always behind their shoulders! The dog could use his greater strength to help the cat, but instead! Instead, he uses it to silence the cat! Keep it down! This is injustice! This is a crime against humanity! This is…!
Teacher: that’s enough Tallulah
Tallulah: Sorry, mam. Ok I’m done.
(Sebastian claps and no one else does.)
Teacher- Ok, well… that was…interesting.
Sebastian- (to camera) So you’ve pretty much figured out that Tallulah is the girl of my dreams now. And if you haven’t then I just ruined it for you.
Teacher- Sebastian, where is your film?
Sebastian- Right here Mrs. Crepatlicknarchen. (Gets up and puts movie in the VCR or whatever, then addresses the class) Ok so my movie is about the social and political disruption in the cafeteria. It is a documentary about the controversy of serving armadillo skins instead of French fries. (Plays movie and fades to next scene)
Sebastian- Scene 3
I got beaten up after class.
Sebastian- (complaining to Rocco who joined him somehow) Everyone hated my movie.
Rocco- That’s no surprise, I hated it too.
Sebastian- Shut up! Of course you did, you weren’t supposed to like it! When I said everyone I was really only talking about…
Tallulah-(runs up behind him) Hey I liked your movie!
Sebastian-(taken aback)Well… (recovers) Well, well My Lady, I’m glad that my cinimatographical achievement seems to have infatuated you so well. Shall we dance the night away?
Tallulah- Indeed we shall fair Sebastian.
(They break out in “Till there was you” from Music man, they are suddenly dancing in a ballroom, in fancy clothes and Rocco is dancing around them. As Brooklyn plays the violin. This fades to his face.)
Sebastian- ok so that didn’t happen. It was actually just me singing. And that guy. (Cuts to crazy guy) And luckily Tallulah walked away in the middle of my song therefore limiting the amount of embarrassment.
(Brooklyn enters)
Brooklyn- Hey, so after a lot of thought I have decided that I am going to become a caveman.
Sebastian- Except she actually said something way more lame than that.
Brooklyn- You cut me off in the beginning. I tried to ask you for a favor
Sebastian- what kind of favor?
Brooklyn: See, my stupid mom invited people to my house for a party. I hate parties, she’s just trying to get me to have more friends.
Sebastian- Really? I would’ve thought she’d throw a party so she could hang out with all the popular kids like she always does.
Brooklyn: Well, whatever… you two have to go.
Sebastian- And why should we?
Brooklyn- Tallulah will be there
Sebastian- Yeah, ok.
Sebastian- (to camera) Tallulah, the girl of my dreams, what am I going to wear, what if she decides she hates me, what if…
Rocco- You do know we can hear you when you talk, right?
Sebastian- Oh yes, right.
(turns back to camera)
There’s only one small hitch in my girl getting plans, the fact that she’s dating Clark DeLancey, and also that last year when I tried to tell her that I liked her I dropped one of those small refrigerators on her foot breaking it in two places and they thought that she would never walk again.
Brooklyn- Why don’t you just tell the people about Clark?
Sebastian- Ok, I was getting there, so Clark, hes the meanest, evilest, most horrible person, ever, its proven that hes the cause of cancer and possibly Lupus. He..
Rocco- Oh, Clark? Actually hes pretty nice.
Brooklyn- Yeah didn’t he save that puppy from the burning building.
Rocco- Yeah! And he volunteers for the homeless shelter in his free time.
Sebastian- Silence! I hate you all!
(Enter Gina)
Gina- (with a lisp) Hello Sebastian (giggles).
Sebastian- Greetings.
Gina- Brooklyn, hey… I just heard about your party… sounds fun. I suppose you’ll be there, right Sebastian?
Sebastian- Yeah I’ll be there.
Gina- (squeals) - Intriguing… Well, I will see you there. (Frolics away).
(Off camera voice)- Who was that?
Sebastian- Oh, that was Gina Larynx, she’s apparently the coolest person ever because she’s 1st chair soprano, even though no one has ever heard her sing, she just stands onstage with sun glasses on.
Rocco- It’s a rumor that if human ears heard her singing they would explode.
(Off camera voice)- Ok, thanks for explaining.
Sebastian- No prob… wait, who the heck was that?
(They all get scared and run away)
Scene 3
Party
(The party is in full blast, there are tons of kids everywhere. Mrs. Davis is in the kitchen hanging out with all the cool kids hanging on her every word. Brooklyn, Sebastian and Rocco are sitting on the sofa, Brooklyn is looking board, Rocco is playing with a box of tissues and laughing, and Sebastian is watching a show in Spanish.)
Sebastian- So here we are, as usual Brooklyn’s mom is way more popular than us, which is depressing, but at least we have Spanish soap operas.
Tululah- Oh hey your watching “mi gato se forma como una tortilla” sweet.
Sebastian- You like this show?
Tallulah- Yeah, it’s only like my 6th favorite foreign language speaking show. It’s got a lot of topical propaganda that can be compared to the political instabilities of the relationship between super powers and third world countries.
Sebastian- …Lets get married.
Tallulah- Huh?
Sebastian- (Offers her potato chip) potato chip?
Tallulah- Oh sure!
(Clark enters, hes wearing a cowboy outfit and looks very angry)
Clark- Where have you been woman! I needed you to drive the get away car when I was stealing health care paraphernalia from old people.
Brooklyn- Sebastian! If you don’t start telling the story right I’m just going to…
Sebastian- Fiiiiiiiiine.
(Clark re-enters, this time in normal cloths with a sweet smile on his face.)
Clark- Oh hey honey (kisses her on he cheek) I brought you some pie.
Tallulah- Oh thank you (throws potato chip over her shoulder. Sebastian looks crushed but comically so)
Clark- Oh hey Sebastian (goes to give him a high five)
Sebastian- Hello enemy. (Doesn’t high five him)
(Clark stands there with his hand in the air uncomfortably until he shyly brushes his hair back with it.)
Clark- Ok, well anyway, Sebastian, I think Gina is looking for you. Thanks for inviting us Brooklyn. (they exit)
(Cut to video clip of Gina running around, knocking over children and what-not, she arrives, theres a small dog in her hair.)
Gina- Why hello Sebastian, fancy meeting you here.
Sebastian- Yeah, you knew I was going to be here…I told you…remember?
Gina- Oh yes, its all coming back to me now.
Sebastian- Hey Gina, this isn’t an episode of Scooby Do, what do you want?
Gina- Your love.
Sebastian- What?
Gina- This chair. (steals chair and runs out of house.)
Sebastian- And the next couple of hours went pretty much the same, except Rocco got in a fight with his tissue box and threw it and it hit some kid in the eye, most everybody went home then. I looked at the clock… midnight. I was hungry so I went to the kitchen.
( you can hear rustling as he gets closer to the kitchen, when he approaches the historical figure Socrates is eating everything in the kitchen)
Sebastian- Hey! What, no! Get out of here.
(Socrates runs out of the house, Sebastian goes and eats a cookie, Tallulah enters.)
Tallulah- Hey, who was that?
Sebastian- Hi, ummm (changes the subject) what are you still doing here?
Tallulah- Well, Clark left to try to get back the chair that Gina stole so I just kinda hung around here.
Sebastian- Oh, that’s great, hes really a nice guy isn’t he?
Tallulah- Yeah he is, but… never mind.
Sebastian- But what?
Tallulah- he doesn’t make me laugh, and he doesn’t sing to me in the middle of the quad either. Hey I’ve got to go, I…I’ll see you later.
Sebastian- Wait, I think its very important that you know that I like you very much and I’m sorry for almost paralyzing you with a mini refrigerator and I think your good…and great. (turns to camera) And I really wish that’s not really what I actually said, but it was.
Tallulah- Oh, ok then… I have to go. (runs out)
Sebastian- Wait, you don’t have a car!
Tallulah- I’ll run home!
Socrates- Well that went horribly, now didn’t it.
Sebastian- Shut up Socrates, no one cares what you think.
Scene 4
In Video class
Sebastian- (To camera) Well, after that life was pretty much the same, I still got beat up after video class and Tallulah still ignored me. Although Clark and her did break up. Apparently when Clark was trying to get back Brooklyn’s chair from Gina they really hit it off and started dating.
(Computer says “you’ve got mail’)
I’ve got one good thing going for me though, Rocco’s discovered those mildly amusing animated cards, so popular with middle aged women, and he sends them to me almost hourly so I can forget the pain and suffering that is my life.
(clicks mail folder, there are two e-mails, he opens the first one and it’s a lame animated postcard sent by Rocco, the second one is another lame animated post card that’s all cute and has some kind of lame love message, its from Tallulah.)
Tallulah- (from behind his shoulder) I thought you might want to know that I like you too. (She pulls him up off his chair from his collar and kisses him.)
Sebastian- (to camera) And that is exactly how it happened.
Scene 5
Two months later
Sebastian- Well life is good, although people in the world are still starving and Hilary Duff still exists, my teenage world is perfect. Brooklyn finally got to drop playing the violin and took up the electric guitar. Rocco got slightly less crazy, Tallulah and I are dating, and we all lived our lame high school careers happily and Vulcan-free ever after.
(Rocco runs across screen followed by a flock of Vulcans)
Question of the day
So Good or No Good?