Lily is a very pretty name but obviously there are flipping loads of them! I don't like Elle ( Read more... )

I think George Osborne is gorgeous. I'd like to fuck him with a Sharpie ( Read more... )

Whose fucking idea was it to make Piers fucking Morgan a TV personality anyway ( Read more... )

In fact, the people who care most about the war seem to be the very bruschetta-munching BUT pro-war middle classes that natter on about how 'real people' don't care about the war.

I am a lefty-liberal pinko latte-quaffing, bruschetta-munching member of the traitorous commie Islington faggerati

fluttering to hundreds of bruschetta-munching, acai ( Read more... )

Popular music is so fragmented that no one can be the spokesperson for a generation. Anyone who claims to, as Kanye did, is rightly treated as a joke ( Read more... )

Holly Walsh could be described as the Rice Krispies of the comedy world: she's gifted with snappy wit and crackling talent and has polished a standup routine that is as feelgood and funny as the best bubblegum pop ( Read more... )

Sweetie, Wiping Your Semen into Mommy's Carpet Makes the Baby Jesus Cry

Pissing on The Magna Carta makes the Baby Jesus cry.

My hair makes the baby Jesus cry.

Jessica Simpson without cleavage makes the Baby Jesus cry.

Whenever you do anything (especially on Fandom_Wank), it makes The Baby Jesus cry.

Naming your baby “Sarah McCain Palin” makes ( Read more... )

And it really wasn't my fault the on call registrar didn't turn up.
I felt really sorry for the bride though, the wedding should have been at 17.00, but the registrar didn't turn up till 17.25

After a slight delay becuase the original registrar didn't turn up, they did it.
Perhaps the haste explains why the registrar didn't turn up for the ceremony ( Read more... )

it was just like totally awesomz ( Read more... )

Bungling BBC bosses turned Nick Griffin into a victim ( Read more... )