I Did A Thing
Today, I did something that for almost my entire life, I never thought I’d do. I got a tattoo.
I’ve been contemplating it for maybe the last year and I decided that I was for sure about a few weeks ago. It’s about 1-1/2” X 1-1/2” on my inside left arm just below my watch. It consists of two separate items that together symbolize a great deal to me. The larger part is The Fireflies’ logo from the video game series, and now HBO series, The Last of Us (TLOU). The second, a small, simple semicolon.
In TLOU story, The Fireflies are a rebel/resistance militia group in a post-pandemic world working toward restoring democracy and developing a cure for the infection that created the pandemic. The significance of the logo to me is less the specifics of the Firefly group and more a representation of TLOU story and themes (although I do stand for the same things and also would somewhat consider myself a rebel). To me TLOU story is a couple things. One is a story of empathy. Understanding the importance of perspective. Something I prioritize in my life.
The other part of TLOU story, and arguably biggest part, deals with loss. The loss itself, coping with that loss, and learning to love again. Quite simply, this has been my personal journey over the last few years. Although through divorce, the loss of my wife, life partner, and best friend all-in-one has been the most difficult challenge I’ve ever faced. My relationship, affection, and connection with this person was something I did not chose to lose. But as loss often goes, it’s cruel, unfair, and wicked challenging. It has truly tested my mental health and it hasn’t always been pretty. There’s a point late in the first game where Ellie says to Joel, “After all we’ve been through. Everything that I’ve done. It can’t be for nothing.” And I think of that when I’m really struggling and don’t know how I’m ever going to move forward or if I even want to continue. Everything I’ve done in my life, can’t be for nothing. I can’t give up. This tattoo is a reminder to me of that.
Then in a similar fashion, my tattoo also includes the semicolon. From Project Semicolon, it states that the optional semicolon continues a sentence rather than ending one like an abrupt period. Therefore, each human being is the author that chooses to keep the sentence (life) going on. Many individuals struggling with depression, self-harm and other ailments can embrace the semicolon. It is a symbol of hope and is in a broader sense advocating for mental health. Something we all need to be more cognizant of.
I know a fair number of people now that have the semicolon tattooed on them in some shape or fashion. And after my asking, my tattoo artist from today indicated it’s something he’s tattooed more and more of the last few years. The mental health movement is heading in the right direction.
Overall, this tattoo is both a representation of everything I’ve been though and a reminder to keep pushing especially when it feels bleak.
When you’re lost in the darkness, look for the light. (The Fireflies’ slogan)