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life so far
SUCKS!!!
i know i should be happy. i want to be happy. but somehow the idealism of this baby isnt translating into a very happy pregnancy. i keep thinking WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?? i love kids. i love babies. but as everyone knows i never wanted to be pregnant. and especially not right now. my relationship with d. just got started. ( Read more... ) -
Heaven is home the world is the marketplace
How easy it would be to just throw up my hands and say “woe is me. Life is unfair and I can never get ahead.” I almost came close to really doing that. But like always, something always stops me from becoming a self-defeated slob. I found this quote in one of my emails this morning and I have heard the very same thing from the lips of my beloved ( Read more... ) -
this whole hair thing
anyone that really knows me knows that i kindof fluctuate between loving my hair and being ambivalent. luckily i dont hate it just sometimes i dont know what to do with it. then i settle into it and take a look into the mirror, and realize that hey i love my hair. who knew? nevermind that i probably said the same thing about a month ago. i'm ( Read more... ) -
white light
5 am. 6 am. time seems to blur and fold into itself. too early for my brain to send the necessary electrical pulses to my body. too early to contemplate getting up and beginning another day.
all i want to do is stay exactly where i am. surrounded by a nest of 400-thread sheets warmed by my middle of the night tumbles. burnt orange silk that captures ( Read more... ) -
Colorgenics Profile
I love taking quizzes and profiles and tests. anything that may tell me something remotely interesting about myself. here is the latest from http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/index.htm
gotta say its somewhat on point:
You don't need anxiety and problems. All you really ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
my life needs to have clear and definite goals. other people can travel through life, floating from one experience to the next and have no problem. i wish things were like that for me.
for the longest time all i wanted to do was go to college. college was the answer out of philly. out of the projects. college was the intellectual heaven that i had ( Read more... ) -
The Day After Politicking
The one thing that I'm thankful for is that i am not too tired. at least i didn't pass anything. i'm tired but not misa tired. there is a big difference. not egun party tired.
just now i have a sinus headache, i want to go back to bed. curl up and go to sleep. i should've listened to myself and just called in late this morning. but noooo, superwoman ( Read more... ) -
7 in the Morning
it is 8 am in the morning and this is how i start my day.
~sigh~
carney called at 7 this morning complaining about sassie. it is so hard to stop yourself from saying "i told you so" when you are half awake. but that's a whole nother entry.
but at 7 this morning, i laid in bed and contemplated calling out. the job isnt as hard as i thought. still ( Read more... ) -
To the spirit of music
Thank you for being my one unfailing friend
You who have read my heart on the darkest of days
You who have cried with me
when no one else could stand to see my tears
You who have given me the words to both the pain and happiness in my soul
Thank you music for just being there
There is always a song or lyric playing in my mind,
From the moment my mind ( Read more... ) -
My Last words
My grandmother's last words to me were I love you. Or at least that is what i think that they were. she had come home from the hospital a few days before. and i had specifically come over just to have a chat with her about our family tree. she knew a lot more than i thought that she would have but then again Frances Delories Battle was always an ( Read more... )