... shirts and sports ...
Title: ... shirts and sports ...
Author: Ian Anon (physixxx)
Pairing: H/D
Summary: Never take a whinger to a Muggle sports game. Ever!
Warnings: Excessive whingeing.
Author's Note: Written for AWDT
Prompt: "Old People Can't Drive Very Well."
Word Count: 391
beta'd by Lisa because dammit(!)... it needed it! Thanks Lisa!!!
“I hate this sport.”
“You’ve been here less than an hour. You can’t have hated it in such short order.”
“Harry, who do you think I am? Of course I could have... I hated it as soon as you said we couldn’t fly in ... or Apparate.”
“Shhh!!”
“Ooh! Was that Parseltongue!? Are you trying to get me randy? How brattish of you!”
“No, that was me telling you to shut up. And enjoy the game.”
“How can I? Even getting here was a chore. All of those... old people. By golly, by gum -”
“You have some nerve calling anyone ‘old’ using phrases like ‘by golly, by gum’.”
“Pish! I mean, really. What was that contraption again?”
“It’s called an automobile. A car.”
“More like death on rubbered wheels. A two-door firetrap, if you ask me.”
“Which I didn’t.”
“And who lets old people operate those things, anyway? There should be laws. I mean, it took us forever to get here. Old people can't drive very well, can they?"
“You’re just used to zipping about on a Nimbus, is all. Now watch the game.”
“But Haaaaarrreeeeeeeeee....! It’s sooooOOOoooo booooOOOooooring!”
“No it’s not. It’s rather like Quidditch, really. Only, they use their feet - or sometimes heads. They even get a bit rough, at times.”
“Humphf!”
“....”
“So... tell me how this works, again?”
“It’s simple really. The players try to get the white ball into the net. Simple.”
“Why can’t they just pick it up and run with it.”
“Because that’s American football.”
“Well, then I dare say the Americans have the right idea. This kicking thing is rubbish! Pure dreck, innit?”
“Since when did you get all chav on me? ‘Innit’...? Really, Draco. How plebeian.”
“Potter if you can’t spell ‘plebeian’ then don’t say it.”
“I can spell ‘plebeian’.”
“Oh, really...? Then spell it.”
“I.T.”
“...”
“...”
“I hate you, Potter. And I hate this game. It’s stupid. No one’s been hurt. Been no fights. Those costumes are ghastly.”
“I figured you’d like their little shorts.”
“Goes without saying, but it’s been almost an hour and not one of them have scored! Rubbish!!”
“... and Beckham drives to the net... he kicks... Yes, HE SCORES!!!”
“-gasp- He took his shirt off!!!! -GASP- They all took off their shirts!!!”
*roaring applause*
“...”
“...”
“Harry...”
“Yes, Draco...?”
“... I love this sport.”
Author: Ian Anon (physixxx)
Pairing: H/D
Summary: Never take a whinger to a Muggle sports game. Ever!
Warnings: Excessive whingeing.
Author's Note: Written for AWDT
Prompt: "Old People Can't Drive Very Well."
Word Count: 391
beta'd by Lisa because dammit(!)... it needed it! Thanks Lisa!!!
“I hate this sport.”
“You’ve been here less than an hour. You can’t have hated it in such short order.”
“Harry, who do you think I am? Of course I could have... I hated it as soon as you said we couldn’t fly in ... or Apparate.”
“Shhh!!”
“Ooh! Was that Parseltongue!? Are you trying to get me randy? How brattish of you!”
“No, that was me telling you to shut up. And enjoy the game.”
“How can I? Even getting here was a chore. All of those... old people. By golly, by gum -”
“You have some nerve calling anyone ‘old’ using phrases like ‘by golly, by gum’.”
“Pish! I mean, really. What was that contraption again?”
“It’s called an automobile. A car.”
“More like death on rubbered wheels. A two-door firetrap, if you ask me.”
“Which I didn’t.”
“And who lets old people operate those things, anyway? There should be laws. I mean, it took us forever to get here. Old people can't drive very well, can they?"
“You’re just used to zipping about on a Nimbus, is all. Now watch the game.”
“But Haaaaarrreeeeeeeeee....! It’s sooooOOOoooo booooOOOooooring!”
“No it’s not. It’s rather like Quidditch, really. Only, they use their feet - or sometimes heads. They even get a bit rough, at times.”
“Humphf!”
“....”
“So... tell me how this works, again?”
“It’s simple really. The players try to get the white ball into the net. Simple.”
“Why can’t they just pick it up and run with it.”
“Because that’s American football.”
“Well, then I dare say the Americans have the right idea. This kicking thing is rubbish! Pure dreck, innit?”
“Since when did you get all chav on me? ‘Innit’...? Really, Draco. How plebeian.”
“Potter if you can’t spell ‘plebeian’ then don’t say it.”
“I can spell ‘plebeian’.”
“Oh, really...? Then spell it.”
“I.T.”
“...”
“...”
“I hate you, Potter. And I hate this game. It’s stupid. No one’s been hurt. Been no fights. Those costumes are ghastly.”
“I figured you’d like their little shorts.”
“Goes without saying, but it’s been almost an hour and not one of them have scored! Rubbish!!”
“... and Beckham drives to the net... he kicks... Yes, HE SCORES!!!”
“-gasp- He took his shirt off!!!! -GASP- They all took off their shirts!!!”
*roaring applause*
“...”
“...”
“Harry...”
“Yes, Draco...?”
“... I love this sport.”