You should get a book called The Five Love Languages and you should both read it. If he won't read it then it will be his loss, but at least you will be able to do better next time you find yourself in a relationship.
Here is an example. If I only speak Russian and you do not speak Russian, how close do I need get to you and how loudly do I need to speak in order to make you understand me? Well, we both know you won't understand me no matter how loud I speak to you in Russian (Just to clarify, I do not speak Russian, it's just an example)
The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and physical touchSo a man's love language is acts of service, he comes home, does the dishes, helps the kids with their homework and gets their baths going. He does this because it is his way of showing his wife that he loves her. Meanwhile his wife thinks that he doesn't love her because her love language is quality time. To her, he would rather wash the dishes and draw bath water for the kids than spend
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I'd rather be single than in an abusive relationship...and HE is abusive. He really is. I think he's borderline physically abusive (it took me a long time to realize that) and very mentally/psychologically abusive and manipulative.
I understand how frustrating it is to be single, because I am too, and I get lonely too, but I really hate the idea of you settling just because someone is there and pushy.
I think a lot of people who are mature enough & ready to get married realize you will more than likely spend the rest of their lives together. If not, there's divorce. I know I have single friends, and try to make time for them when I can. But I'm struggling making time for my married couple friends as well. People get busy. Most of my weekend nights are spent with kids. I hardly see Chris, spend time with myself or other friends, married or not. So think about that maybe your friends are busy with other things, and don't have a lot of time or desire to hang out, when really they want to crash on the couch.
i've been in that place where someone wasn't meeting my needs, and I still cared for him. I learned that it was F* up to do, and knew I could and SHOULD have better. I left and OMG am I happier & better off. real friends wont say 'told you so, he was a jerk'. But say 'I support you in your choice to leave and you will/can do better' And you will. Find nice NYE plans with someone, and go have fun
True, and I guess you spend more time with people you are closer with as well and have get-togethers and girls nights with them. I think it is just hard to read things like a list of friends getting engaged or married though and being single and not on that list. Yeah, it is cool and exciting or maybe it is something in the water but if you were the single friend reading that post and didn't have someone special in your life, wouldn't you feel slightly down yourself?
I do spend and try to make time for more closer friends. We aren't as close as we use to be. It's hard because I have to be so careful about everything I do around you or say even online because I invite friends over and you post things that are so depressing and they very much hint that you are mad I didn't include you.
It is my LJ I can post what I wish. I am happy for my friends. It is odd that I know 8 couples engaged. I would be happy for my friends even if I wasn't with someone. I was happy for Christine, Mel, Erin, Jessica & Brooke when they got engaged before me. I am perfectly allowed to show my happiness. If you do not like it, skim over or delete me.
Well, I have to be careful about what I say around you too so it is mutual I guess. You keep repeating that we aren't as close as we used to be yet you don't seem to WANT to get closer just keep me at an arms length online. I have invited to you to a lot of events in evites I have planned, etc. and you have declined every single one of them. I understand people are busy but still it was every single one. I had a REALLY GREAT time chilling with you and Laura that one night and I was hoping it would happen more but I guess I was wrong - I'm not sure what happened after that night
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Here is an example. If I only speak Russian and you do not speak Russian, how close do I need get to you and how loudly do I need to speak in order to make you understand me? Well, we both know you won't understand me no matter how loud I speak to you in Russian (Just to clarify, I do not speak Russian, it's just an example)
The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and physical touchSo a man's love language is acts of service, he comes home, does the dishes, helps the kids with their homework and gets their baths going. He does this because it is his way of showing his wife that he loves her. Meanwhile his wife thinks that he doesn't love her because her love language is quality time. To her, he would rather wash the dishes and draw bath water for the kids than spend ( ... )
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I'd take you out for NYE... If I could! :D
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I understand how frustrating it is to be single, because I am too, and I get lonely too, but I really hate the idea of you settling just because someone is there and pushy.
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Rho deserves better than that idiot.
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I know I have single friends, and try to make time for them when I can. But I'm struggling making time for my married couple friends as well. People get busy. Most of my weekend nights are spent with kids. I hardly see Chris, spend time with myself or other friends, married or not. So think about that maybe your friends are busy with other things, and don't have a lot of time or desire to hang out, when really they want to crash on the couch.
i've been in that place where someone wasn't meeting my needs, and I still cared for him. I learned that it was F* up to do, and knew I could and SHOULD have better. I left and OMG am I happier & better off. real friends wont say 'told you so, he was a jerk'. But say 'I support you in your choice to leave and you will/can do better' And you will. Find nice NYE plans with someone, and go have fun
Reply
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It is my LJ I can post what I wish. I am happy for my friends. It is odd that I know 8 couples engaged. I would be happy for my friends even if I wasn't with someone. I was happy for Christine, Mel, Erin, Jessica & Brooke when they got engaged before me. I am perfectly allowed to show my happiness. If you do not like it, skim over or delete me.
Reply
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