The ending the way you have it... makes it sound like you're about to write about how he fucks up the suicide (which would be oh-so-depressing) or how he went to heaven with shiny lightz.
I also forgot to mention that I liked how you said his stomach stopped. I never thought about that, but that's true. Sometimes it's your heart, but sometimes it's your stomach.
The girl should have leukemia. That's depressing, too.
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"And all of this leads to why what I did in the end."
It needs a better ending. Heh, I don't know how to fix it though.
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I also forgot to mention that I liked how you said his stomach stopped. I never thought about that, but that's true. Sometimes it's your heart, but sometimes it's your stomach.
The girl should have leukemia. That's depressing, too.
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