ooc: writing a letter to you
Dear Zack,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but your nostrils are insulting. I think I realized it when I quoted Forrest Gump as you were eating Kraft Dinner and I saw you sit on my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're middle-class enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard and I'm scratching my butt as you read this.
Love always,
Aerith~
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