in which Leslie needs a beta just really quick, and you're all invited

[piartemis18]

Below is a poll. I'm trying to decide if the re-insertion of the extra paragraphs is an improvement or not. I don't think you need to read the whole thing to judge these sentences; consider this a teaser!

Please feel free to comment with further opinions.

Comments

[msqu]

Difficult decision. But I went with the second one because... I think Percy would maybe falling apart with nerves on the inside, but he would probably control his words. Probably. I think. idk. Maybe?

Tripping over words seems more of a Ron-thing, in my head, than a Percy-thing anyway.

[ohstarling]

Oh dear, I'm in the minority. But I really liked seeing Penny's reaction in the middle of that, and I liked seeing that Percy was vulnerable and nervous. I can totally see him tripping over his words a little bit -- and it's a great insight into his character if he's normally a smooth talker but his composure slips when he's talking to Penny. Clearly she's important and gets to him in a way that nothing and no one ever has before.

That's just my take on it. :)

[piartemis18]

Not a ton in the minority! I had to vote so I could see what the results were without having to click a bunch of times, so it was just 2 to 1 (and now it's 2 to 2, so...) And yeah, that's where my main dilemma is. Percy isn't always well-spoken, and I even think that him stumbling over "normal" words then finding safety in what he's used to is kinda good. But...it's also not as neat. I've got time to decide, though.