A Song for a Story (Alphabet drabbles)
Title: A Song for a Story (Alphabet drabbles)
Author:pickles_pick
Chapter: Oneshot, complete
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Kazuki/Manabu
Rating: NC-16
Warnings: Mentions of attempted suicide
Disclaimer: Not mine, never mine.
Synopsis: Manabu is sick of losing to a memory, if it existed.
Alphabet Z, F and R.
Z is for Zansatsu fiction
He just sits in the tub, seeing, looking, as impassively.
Someday, surely, killing you.
He watches it float up into the surface of the water, a cold satisfaction flowing through him. He’s sick of pining for someone who is chasing ghosts. Kazuki can continue chasing them; he wants to move on.
Infested with the infection you are a fool, because you can't live like you are right now.
Once it has sustained his life, but now he no longer needs it. This time, he is in control of his reality. He squeezes his hands; more of his life goes into the water. He needs to go and he must go…staying here was meaningless.
Being sticky with decomposition, you take a shower coughing blood and sneering at it.
No; not meaningless. He had a purpose. A purpose to leave.
Your infections is spreading out, looking swollen and sore.
“Manabu! Where are you!?” He ignores the cries.
There is a parasite eating itself into your body.
They will never reach him on time; he has made sure of that. He watches the circle of red expand on the water and feels the smile on his face.
You are reaching the climax of this vital game, the pyramid of the food cycle.
There is no reflection of a tear-streaked face to see anymore.
Let’s say farewell with a kiss.
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F is for False dawn
He knows he has been denied once again, as he stares at the four walls that are his companions.
I don't want to be here anymore,
Hacking, blinded, he has been pulled back again.
This long, long road with no end.
He barely registers a chair scraping next to him, but he feels hands placing a cup of water in his hands.
“You’ve been sleeping for almost a week.” He does not respond.
“Why do that to yourself? You could have spoken to me, you could-” That is enough to snap reactions into him. He looks into that face he wants and fails to hate.
Maybe ahead of the dark, where nothing can be seen, there lies darkness,
Kazuki’s face is unreadable, again; so he looks away, sick of holding that beloved face so dear, sick of trying to see what is written on his face.
So throw away the pretense of being tough in which you dressed up in.
“Let’s end this once and for all.” He whispers, so dead, so empty, he’s tired. “I don’t want to lose myself to ghosts.”
“No.” He clenches his grip on the glass, and more sand tears at his throat as he laughs a bitter one that resonates through the room.
Destroy the gate in front of your eyes, now
“No? Then what? Continue living on like this? You eye one who eyes another while I blindly follow your shadow, listening and holding on to dreams that are as un-catchable as smoke? I’ve stopped chasing smoke, Kazuki. I’m sick of seeing you want another, your lies that it’s always been me, I’m tired of it, Kazuki!”
The glass slips off his hands and shatters onto the ground around where the other man sits, like his shield has finally fallen apart and he is open, open to any anything that Manabu would hurl at him.
Dream that dream again and rise up once more
He doesn’t bother apologizing. “Get out.” He turns away once more.
Don't be agonising over whether they come true or not
Chair scraping, a crunch of glass under boots, and he shuts his eyes, no more regrets.
So that we won't be able to grow tired of a self-willed reality.
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R is for Rosary
A pair of familiar arms wraps themselves around him, pull him into a familiar warmth.
The shadow of unending tears
He has no energy to resist.
“There isn’t a ghost in the first place.” A harsh laugh.
How much are we able to understand each other?
“Bullshit.” It is filled with venom, meant to poison him for good there, and maybe, it really ends here-
“I should have realized I was trying too hard to push you away the same time I wanted you.” A tightening of arms. “I’m sorry…I…”
The burnt and withered young grass calms its thirst in the dusky rain
“Couldn’t move on with reality. I no longer want to live in a dream, so you are free to go.” He struggles to push those arms off him.
In order so that the cruel sky would not be heard
Yet Kazuki hangs on. “You are my reality, Bu. Please, stop pushing me away and let me live in your reality too.”
“It won’t work out.” Memories of his first meeting with Kazuki float into his mind; the smile, and he feels his resolution weaken.
The now that is let live
“It will. Help me live too.” Kazuki’s voice is now a barest whisper against his ears. “I want to stop chasing a me that is non-existent too.” Kazuki buries his face into his neck; he feels the cold liquid sliding down his skin into the fabric of the hospital gown.
“Why are you always so selfish?” It is his turn to whisper, but yet he clings to Kazuki’s arms, no longer resisting. “Why are you always like that?”
A lingering scent that festered on scorchingly hot land and a heart that can't be healed
And as the other members open the door much later, the sight of two tangled and asleep, and Jin heaves a sigh of relief.
“Welcome back, idiots.”
I say a little prayer for you
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A/N: Uhm, so, yea...its really my first attempt...*goes into hiding*
Thanks to SCREW_LYRICS at LJ for the translations!! And to Yurinie for making me write. xD