09:
Last night she said
Oh baby I feel so down
When you turn me off
When I feel left out
So I, I turned round
Oh baby don't care no more
I know this for sure
The thing about appearing apathetic is people tell you things. Well, they don't right out tell you things, but they let their guard down to a point where you'd have to be a downright idiot to not be able to figure them out.
Pierce was a bright boy who just didnt care to apply himself. He had this need to get close to people by himself before they got close back. He had to know every aspect of them, like if they were open minded, smart, listening, caring people. Usually this was to weed out people. Not so much as who was good enough for him, but who he thought he was good enough for. Who would have him.
He knew he wasn't the smartest person in the world, but he knew that he was smarter than most. Maybe he didn't understand petty things like the way american congress worked or how many feet were in a mile, but he knew how to reach down into someone untill they let themselves go. You pretend not to care.
If you pretend not to care, people will let you in on their deepest darkest secrets without even realizing it. And maybe it seems decietful or sociopathic, but that is far from the case. He needed to know what went on in other people's brains to know that he wasn't crazy. It was, in fact, the only thing that kept him sane.
He'd never really "analyzed" his ways untill he'd moved away. He'd left everything he loved, and he realized he couldn't just get new people to love and surround himself with. He could get plenty of meaningless fucks, four in one night if he so wanted, and he did. But he also wanted someone to run to and talk to it about, in all the gory details.
"I've fucked him tons of times."
"So shouldn't you be dating him, then?" his best friend Julie said on the other end of the phone, as she balanced the reciever between her shoulder and ear and painted her toenails with her free hands.
"Nah, he's not dateable. Got a boyfriend... or an ex, but either way there's still something there."
"Fucked any girls yet?"
He thought about it. "Yes, one. I went to a night club one night."
"We're you drunk, then?"
"Off my face."
"Have you had any sober fucks while you've been there?"
"Julie love, of course. But none that meant anything."
"Well why?"
"Because I come off as a bloody whore and no one wants me."
"Who wouldn't want you?"
"Everyone but you, apparently."
She laughed a little. "It's cause you don't let anyone in, you know."
"Well, you know why."
"Yes, but you take pills. I've seen you run around in the rain. You're absolutely fine."
"But I'm not Julie, they don't work all the time."
"Well nothing works all the bloody time, pierce. Look at my mum, I don't think she's worked a day in her life. I still love her."
"That has absobloodynothing to do with anything!"
"Yes but... it sounded smart..."
"Not in context."
"Nothing's ever good enough for you, O'brian," she said sarcastically.
"Well what do i do? Do I stop being a douche-bag all the time?"
"...No, that works for you. It IS you."
"But it not."
"But it is, Pierce. You're a horrible person and its why everyone loves you."
He smiled. "You always pretended to hate me when I was mean."
She sighed. "I lied, alright? I love you to little bloody bits and pieces, and so should everyone else."
"Too bad you and I never fucked," he said with a smirk.
"Bloody shame," she said with a little laugh.
Oh baby I feel so down
When you turn me off
When I feel left out
So I, I turned round
Oh baby don't care no more
I know this for sure
The thing about appearing apathetic is people tell you things. Well, they don't right out tell you things, but they let their guard down to a point where you'd have to be a downright idiot to not be able to figure them out.
Pierce was a bright boy who just didnt care to apply himself. He had this need to get close to people by himself before they got close back. He had to know every aspect of them, like if they were open minded, smart, listening, caring people. Usually this was to weed out people. Not so much as who was good enough for him, but who he thought he was good enough for. Who would have him.
He knew he wasn't the smartest person in the world, but he knew that he was smarter than most. Maybe he didn't understand petty things like the way american congress worked or how many feet were in a mile, but he knew how to reach down into someone untill they let themselves go. You pretend not to care.
If you pretend not to care, people will let you in on their deepest darkest secrets without even realizing it. And maybe it seems decietful or sociopathic, but that is far from the case. He needed to know what went on in other people's brains to know that he wasn't crazy. It was, in fact, the only thing that kept him sane.
He'd never really "analyzed" his ways untill he'd moved away. He'd left everything he loved, and he realized he couldn't just get new people to love and surround himself with. He could get plenty of meaningless fucks, four in one night if he so wanted, and he did. But he also wanted someone to run to and talk to it about, in all the gory details.
"I've fucked him tons of times."
"So shouldn't you be dating him, then?" his best friend Julie said on the other end of the phone, as she balanced the reciever between her shoulder and ear and painted her toenails with her free hands.
"Nah, he's not dateable. Got a boyfriend... or an ex, but either way there's still something there."
"Fucked any girls yet?"
He thought about it. "Yes, one. I went to a night club one night."
"We're you drunk, then?"
"Off my face."
"Have you had any sober fucks while you've been there?"
"Julie love, of course. But none that meant anything."
"Well why?"
"Because I come off as a bloody whore and no one wants me."
"Who wouldn't want you?"
"Everyone but you, apparently."
She laughed a little. "It's cause you don't let anyone in, you know."
"Well, you know why."
"Yes, but you take pills. I've seen you run around in the rain. You're absolutely fine."
"But I'm not Julie, they don't work all the time."
"Well nothing works all the bloody time, pierce. Look at my mum, I don't think she's worked a day in her life. I still love her."
"That has absobloodynothing to do with anything!"
"Yes but... it sounded smart..."
"Not in context."
"Nothing's ever good enough for you, O'brian," she said sarcastically.
"Well what do i do? Do I stop being a douche-bag all the time?"
"...No, that works for you. It IS you."
"But it not."
"But it is, Pierce. You're a horrible person and its why everyone loves you."
He smiled. "You always pretended to hate me when I was mean."
She sighed. "I lied, alright? I love you to little bloody bits and pieces, and so should everyone else."
"Too bad you and I never fucked," he said with a smirk.
"Bloody shame," she said with a little laugh.