"Hangover"
Two Three Pike/Number One ficlets from the 'Ship Wars surprise bonus round!
Hangover - TOS
Number One opened her eyes and the immediately shut them again, whimpering.
Pike stroked her back, fingers lingering on the top of her spine. "I thought your advanced metabolism meant you didn't get hangovers?"
"There is only so much one can do to the human genome. I think I'm going to be sick."
"I told you not to drink anything blue."
She opened her eyes again just so she could glare at him.
"I drank water. Most of the effects of what is commonly referred to as a hangover are in fact related to dehydration. For every measure of alcohol, I drank a glass of water. I don't get hangovers. I should not be hungover."
"I'm sure that works normally. But somebody should have warned you about Romulan ale."
"Why didn't you warn me?"
"I did, but you were a little preoccupied."
"With what?"
"Let's just say-you had your hands full. And at one point, your mouth full. However, you passed out before any real damage was done."
"To the trade negotiations?"
"No-to my quarters. As soon as Phil saw what the ambassador had given you, we got you back to Enterprise."
For the first time she realised it wasn't her bed she was in, a fact which would have penetrated her fuzzy brain sooner had she been able to stomach full-spectrum light without stabbing pain.
"Thank you. I think." She sat up, and then wished she hadn't. "Oh sweet merciful Maker, I think my brain is trying to escape my head via my eye sockets."
Pike chuckled, and then pressed a glass and two analgesics into her fingers. She swallowed them dry, holding very still to see if they were going to stay put, and then sipped the cool water from the glass slowly.
"You'll be fine."
She gave him another look.
"You'll be fine in a day or two."
He was lying next to her, wearing nothing but sleep pants. She saw her dress uniform was lying in a crumpled heap near the door, and he'd even removed all the pins from her hair before putting her to bed. She leaned over to rest her cheek against his chest, breathing slowly through her mouth.
"What about my duty shift?"
"Mohindas is at the helm-Phil told her you had an allergic reaction to the shellfish at the reception."
"I owe him. What about your duty shift? Who has the bridge?"
"Spock. When you hadn't woken up after four hours, I requested he take my shift. Also, I figured Vulcans wouldn't ask questions. Turns out I was right."
"But why are you here?"
"Because I wanted to make sure you were alright. I've never seen you drunk before. I didn't think you could get drunk, actually." He smoothed her hair back from her temples. "Did you know you snore?"
"I do not snore!"
"Not normally, no. But it was kinda adorable. Like a little baby targ."
"I hate you."
"I know."
"How long do those pills Phil gave you take?"
"Why?"
"Because we've an entire duty shift to ourselves-with no-one expecting either of us on the bridge. I want to take advantage of the situation, because this may never happen again. But I'd like to do so without vomiting."
"That sounds... reasonable. And speaking from personal experience, I'd say about an hour. Faster if you eat something. I recommend scrambled eggs and dry toast."
At the mere mention of food, her stomach clenched painfully, and his laughter followed her all the way to the fresher.
Hangover - Mirror Universe
Pike came to with the taste of bile in the back of his throat, and the smell of roasting meat in the air. His head was splitting, and his stomach roiled treacherously, but he managed to get upright. The last thing he remembered were two beautiful green women, a full bottle of Saurian brandy, and then... darkness.
The room was empty, except for a lone cloaked figure sitting in the chair next to the brazier, sipping strong red tea from a chipped mug.
He rolled to his feet, hand going for the laser that would normally be at his hip, but both the weapon and his knife were missing. As were his uniform trousers.
She twitched back her hood, and he relaxed.
"You followed me?"
"A good thing I did. She spiked your drink, and almost slit your throat."
He realised the smell of meat hanging in the air wasn't meat, and glanced over to see the charred remains of what had been a very pretty, very flexible Orian dancer on the floor next to the bed.
Pike caught the bundle of clothes she tossed him reflexively.
"Get dressed. We've new orders-we're supposed to be at the Tarsus outpost by 0600."
He pulled on the gold tunic, and she held out his knife. He hesitated, and then sheathed it on his belt.
"Why did you follow me? Were you jealous?"
"And if I was?"
"You didn't have to kill her."
She lifted a brow.
"You could have let her kill me. You could have had the ship."
Other possibilities hung in the air between them as he pulled on his boots.
"I still might, someday," she said, setting the mug down on the battered wooden table. "But not today."
Hangover - AOS
Phil Boyce is a man with a plan. Always has been.
Last night, the plan involved showing up at Chris' front door with a bottle of Draylaxian whiskey, and practically dragging the Yorktown's nearly-former Captain across Deck 5 to the door of her nearly-new Captain, to celebrate her imminent promotion as soon as the ship hit Earth's orbit.
The plan, he thought, had gone extremely well. They'd been joined by Cait Barry, who had brought a deck of cards, and another bottle. Things had been going along swimmingly, and even if he hadn't had serious money riding on the outcome of the night's revels (Tyler's pool was legendary among the senior staff, while Brien in Engineering had been running his own book for three and a half years) he'd have enjoyed watching his friends get progressively looser and more relaxed in each other's company.
However, despite waxing rhapsodic about her impressive service record and at one point, her choice of nail polish, Pike had kept his hands to himself. Two hours before Alpha Shift, Cait and Boyce had finally begged off with the unspoken agreement that clearly nothing untoward was going to happen while there were chaperones present.
Now Pike wandered into Sickbay looking like he'd been ridden hard and put away wet, Boyce was frustrated to learn it was all the after-effects of the alcohol at work, and no debauchery.
"Ow!" Pike grimaced as Boyce pressed the hypospray to his neck.
"Shaddup."
"What's in that thing?"
"Standard hangover cure-an analgesic, some vitamins, electrolytes, something to clear toxins from your system in case your liver isn't up to the task. You need to drink about a gallon of water, though. Nothing I can really do to cure dehydration." He tossed a bottle of water at Pike's head.
"Why are you so grumpy?" Pike asked as he plucked the bottle out of the air.
"I'm a doctor-we're always grumpy. It comes with the labcoat and the 8 years of post-grad schooling.
"You're the one who brought the whiskey."
"That I did."
"Has Number One been by to receive similar tender ministrations?"
"No-because she's smarter than you, and drank water without my needing to remind her. She's already on the bridge."
"In my chair."
"In her chair."
"Right." Pike's eyes glazed over, and Boyce could guess what he was thinking.
"I never thought you were a man to ignore opportunity when it came knocking."
"What the hell are you talking about? I didn't-when the brass offered me the Enterprise, I jumped at the chance."
"Not that opportunity, you lunkhead."
"You've lost me."
"I noticed. Go get some breakfast. You look like crap."
"You ever going to tell me what's put a burr under your saddle?"
"Christopher, if you haven't figured it out by now, you're not going to. And I wash my hands of the both of you."
Pike drained the last of the water from the bottle and dropped the empty flash into the recycler. "Phil?"
"What?"
"You're a good friend. Which is why I don't have to tell you that it's not gentlemanly to take advantage of a lady when she's hammered."
Boyce snorted. "Since when are you a gentleman?"
"Since I met a lady worth treating like a lady. And I'm not referring to the Yorktown or the Enterprise. How much did you lose in Tyler's pool?"
"That is none of your goddam business."
Pike chuckled, and slapped his friend on the back.
Boyce rolled his eyes, and waited until the door of sickbay swished shut before he walked over to his terminal and transferred two months worth of credits into Tyler's account, cursing under his breath all the while.
Plan A had clearly not been well thought out. Time for Plan B, then, Boyce decided, and settled in for a Long Game.
And bonus macro:
Hangover - TOS
Number One opened her eyes and the immediately shut them again, whimpering.
Pike stroked her back, fingers lingering on the top of her spine. "I thought your advanced metabolism meant you didn't get hangovers?"
"There is only so much one can do to the human genome. I think I'm going to be sick."
"I told you not to drink anything blue."
She opened her eyes again just so she could glare at him.
"I drank water. Most of the effects of what is commonly referred to as a hangover are in fact related to dehydration. For every measure of alcohol, I drank a glass of water. I don't get hangovers. I should not be hungover."
"I'm sure that works normally. But somebody should have warned you about Romulan ale."
"Why didn't you warn me?"
"I did, but you were a little preoccupied."
"With what?"
"Let's just say-you had your hands full. And at one point, your mouth full. However, you passed out before any real damage was done."
"To the trade negotiations?"
"No-to my quarters. As soon as Phil saw what the ambassador had given you, we got you back to Enterprise."
For the first time she realised it wasn't her bed she was in, a fact which would have penetrated her fuzzy brain sooner had she been able to stomach full-spectrum light without stabbing pain.
"Thank you. I think." She sat up, and then wished she hadn't. "Oh sweet merciful Maker, I think my brain is trying to escape my head via my eye sockets."
Pike chuckled, and then pressed a glass and two analgesics into her fingers. She swallowed them dry, holding very still to see if they were going to stay put, and then sipped the cool water from the glass slowly.
"You'll be fine."
She gave him another look.
"You'll be fine in a day or two."
He was lying next to her, wearing nothing but sleep pants. She saw her dress uniform was lying in a crumpled heap near the door, and he'd even removed all the pins from her hair before putting her to bed. She leaned over to rest her cheek against his chest, breathing slowly through her mouth.
"What about my duty shift?"
"Mohindas is at the helm-Phil told her you had an allergic reaction to the shellfish at the reception."
"I owe him. What about your duty shift? Who has the bridge?"
"Spock. When you hadn't woken up after four hours, I requested he take my shift. Also, I figured Vulcans wouldn't ask questions. Turns out I was right."
"But why are you here?"
"Because I wanted to make sure you were alright. I've never seen you drunk before. I didn't think you could get drunk, actually." He smoothed her hair back from her temples. "Did you know you snore?"
"I do not snore!"
"Not normally, no. But it was kinda adorable. Like a little baby targ."
"I hate you."
"I know."
"How long do those pills Phil gave you take?"
"Why?"
"Because we've an entire duty shift to ourselves-with no-one expecting either of us on the bridge. I want to take advantage of the situation, because this may never happen again. But I'd like to do so without vomiting."
"That sounds... reasonable. And speaking from personal experience, I'd say about an hour. Faster if you eat something. I recommend scrambled eggs and dry toast."
At the mere mention of food, her stomach clenched painfully, and his laughter followed her all the way to the fresher.
Hangover - Mirror Universe
Pike came to with the taste of bile in the back of his throat, and the smell of roasting meat in the air. His head was splitting, and his stomach roiled treacherously, but he managed to get upright. The last thing he remembered were two beautiful green women, a full bottle of Saurian brandy, and then... darkness.
The room was empty, except for a lone cloaked figure sitting in the chair next to the brazier, sipping strong red tea from a chipped mug.
He rolled to his feet, hand going for the laser that would normally be at his hip, but both the weapon and his knife were missing. As were his uniform trousers.
She twitched back her hood, and he relaxed.
"You followed me?"
"A good thing I did. She spiked your drink, and almost slit your throat."
He realised the smell of meat hanging in the air wasn't meat, and glanced over to see the charred remains of what had been a very pretty, very flexible Orian dancer on the floor next to the bed.
Pike caught the bundle of clothes she tossed him reflexively.
"Get dressed. We've new orders-we're supposed to be at the Tarsus outpost by 0600."
He pulled on the gold tunic, and she held out his knife. He hesitated, and then sheathed it on his belt.
"Why did you follow me? Were you jealous?"
"And if I was?"
"You didn't have to kill her."
She lifted a brow.
"You could have let her kill me. You could have had the ship."
Other possibilities hung in the air between them as he pulled on his boots.
"I still might, someday," she said, setting the mug down on the battered wooden table. "But not today."
Hangover - AOS
Phil Boyce is a man with a plan. Always has been.
Last night, the plan involved showing up at Chris' front door with a bottle of Draylaxian whiskey, and practically dragging the Yorktown's nearly-former Captain across Deck 5 to the door of her nearly-new Captain, to celebrate her imminent promotion as soon as the ship hit Earth's orbit.
The plan, he thought, had gone extremely well. They'd been joined by Cait Barry, who had brought a deck of cards, and another bottle. Things had been going along swimmingly, and even if he hadn't had serious money riding on the outcome of the night's revels (Tyler's pool was legendary among the senior staff, while Brien in Engineering had been running his own book for three and a half years) he'd have enjoyed watching his friends get progressively looser and more relaxed in each other's company.
However, despite waxing rhapsodic about her impressive service record and at one point, her choice of nail polish, Pike had kept his hands to himself. Two hours before Alpha Shift, Cait and Boyce had finally begged off with the unspoken agreement that clearly nothing untoward was going to happen while there were chaperones present.
Now Pike wandered into Sickbay looking like he'd been ridden hard and put away wet, Boyce was frustrated to learn it was all the after-effects of the alcohol at work, and no debauchery.
"Ow!" Pike grimaced as Boyce pressed the hypospray to his neck.
"Shaddup."
"What's in that thing?"
"Standard hangover cure-an analgesic, some vitamins, electrolytes, something to clear toxins from your system in case your liver isn't up to the task. You need to drink about a gallon of water, though. Nothing I can really do to cure dehydration." He tossed a bottle of water at Pike's head.
"Why are you so grumpy?" Pike asked as he plucked the bottle out of the air.
"I'm a doctor-we're always grumpy. It comes with the labcoat and the 8 years of post-grad schooling.
"You're the one who brought the whiskey."
"That I did."
"Has Number One been by to receive similar tender ministrations?"
"No-because she's smarter than you, and drank water without my needing to remind her. She's already on the bridge."
"In my chair."
"In her chair."
"Right." Pike's eyes glazed over, and Boyce could guess what he was thinking.
"I never thought you were a man to ignore opportunity when it came knocking."
"What the hell are you talking about? I didn't-when the brass offered me the Enterprise, I jumped at the chance."
"Not that opportunity, you lunkhead."
"You've lost me."
"I noticed. Go get some breakfast. You look like crap."
"You ever going to tell me what's put a burr under your saddle?"
"Christopher, if you haven't figured it out by now, you're not going to. And I wash my hands of the both of you."
Pike drained the last of the water from the bottle and dropped the empty flash into the recycler. "Phil?"
"What?"
"You're a good friend. Which is why I don't have to tell you that it's not gentlemanly to take advantage of a lady when she's hammered."
Boyce snorted. "Since when are you a gentleman?"
"Since I met a lady worth treating like a lady. And I'm not referring to the Yorktown or the Enterprise. How much did you lose in Tyler's pool?"
"That is none of your goddam business."
Pike chuckled, and slapped his friend on the back.
Boyce rolled his eyes, and waited until the door of sickbay swished shut before he walked over to his terminal and transferred two months worth of credits into Tyler's account, cursing under his breath all the while.
Plan A had clearly not been well thought out. Time for Plan B, then, Boyce decided, and settled in for a Long Game.
And bonus macro: