Because it was you- Multi chapter Fic Chapter 3
Ryo and Yamapi walked into the room together that day. Ryo and Yamapi left for the canteen together. Ryo and Yamapi went into the recording room together and went into dance rehearsals together. Everywhere that Yamapi went, Ryo was sure to go. Because Yamapi wanted to be alone and he wanted to be alone with somebody.
Shige felt jealous as he watched, his hand still in Koyama’s. He wasn’t glad that the older boy had moved on. He wasn’t glad that Yamapi was recovering. He wasn’t glad that he was turning into this person. Koyama sighed, watching the youngest boy stare.
Not at him but at someone else.
In fact, Koyama had lost the ability to look anyone in the eye.
Ryo, Tegoshi, Massu, Shige. They avoided his gaze.
It was surprising that only Yamapi could still look at him and smile genuinely at the boy.
It was surprising that he could smile back.
As he turned to stare at Shige once more, he felt the hand clench tightly at his. He turned back to stare at the pair in the other corner and found Yamapi sleeping on the Ryo’s shoulder. He knew why the hand tightened so painfully around his.
He let go. He let go. He let go.
He was finally ready to let go.
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Yamapi stood at the end of the bridge as Ryo stood at the other. Ryo had instructed him to stay and never walk towards him no matter what. Yamapi just found the instruction strange but listened anyway, saying nothing.
Ryo paced, back and forth, side to side. He opened his mouth and shut it several times. Yamapi found himself getting slightly frustrated but waited all the same. It was like repaying a favor.
Ryo breathed hard.
“I like you. You probably never knew but I do. And just so you know, this doesn’t mean anything more than this. So, just listen okay?”
Yamapi nodded, slightly stunned.
“I told Koyama because I was jealous. But I didn’t think it was the wrong thing to do and I still don’t think so now.” Ryo waited for the response he knew wouldn’t come.
“I never wanted to tell you, still don’t.” He continued. “But I’m telling you now, because I have to. I don’t want to explain myself so I won’t. I didn’t want to leave you alone but I will. Pi, Sorry. Sorry that you have to hear all this. Sorry.”
Yamapi continued to stand there, even when Ryo walked away, he stood there and waited until it was time to go. He kept his promise and he wanted to die. He wanted to jump off that bridge for being so stupid. But he turned on his heel and left.
He wanted to be alone and had no one to be alone with.
So he drank, he drank excessively and began to see Shige with him. He was drunk and he knew it so he kissed the illusion. Tegoshi blinked, shocked. He had come to bring the boy home on Ryo’s orders and never expected this. He turned to look worrily at Massu who shook his head and assured the younger boy that it was okay because Yamapi wasn’t really there.
They brought him home and locked the door behind them. It wouldn’t be opened, only one other person had the key.
But he was gone so Yamapi lay there alone that night.
Massu twined his hands around Tegoshi’s as they walked home. The stars were out tonight; it’s been a long time.
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Shige returned home, alone for the first time in months. Koyama had something to do that night and Shige agreed to return home alone. He threw his bag on the floor before throwing himself on the couch. His cell phone let out a hesitant bleep and he flicked it open to listen to the voice message.
<’Hello, Shige? Can you hear me? I guess you can. Anyway, I’m on the way to Osaka, because I needed to get away. I wanted to get away from you, because I know that I would never be able to say these words anywhere near you. Shige, you know that I like you. I still do, I love you a lot. I’ve made so many mistakes because I loved you so much and this was really one of them.’>
There was a long pause.
<’ I’m leaving to Osaka; Ryo Chan invited me to spend the summer with him. I won’t impose so I’ll probably leave after 2 days to Hawaii. I know you love him, Shige. I’m sorry; I should never have blackmailed you. Shige, go back to him. I promise you I’ll be back. I’m not quitting, just taking a vacation so don’t worry.’>
One last pause.
<’Shige, I love you.’>
The message ended and Shige knew Koyama was already on the train. He stared at his phone that lay silent in the corner, contemplated on whether to call, but thinking it was an insult to his best friend.
His best friend. He was guilty that he was glad to have him back.
The phone vibrated as he saw a message arrive from Tegoshi.
<’Leader’s waiting.’>
Tegoshi was probably right.
P.S. I really intended for this to last longer, but the plot didn't allow me too, I'm not skilled enough D: There will only be one more chapter after this :( I hope you enjoyed this one :3)