Wonders of the heart...

[pillarofruin]

Since Vayne came to see me yesterday, I've been feeling calmer. That feeling of wrongness has gone away almost completely. I worried a bit when we had to make sleeping arrangements and I was afraid that Vayne would go home to his own room-- I was afraid somehow that the feeling would come back, although I don't know why, because I think I've fallen

Comments

[thewishfire]

Sensei.... I think... if you had fallen under some kind of spell from me, you wouldn't be able to think critically about this. Because... it still hurts that you're worrying about what I might do to you... so... if I were going to wish that you thought differently, I'd be making you stop worrying about my powers changing you.... But... more than that, I want you to think like yourself... even if it hurts you... so, that's not going to happen, I promise....

...About the pull, and what happens if I'm not here... I think... with your permission... there's something I'd like to try. Not that I want to... but because we need to find out... what happens if I walk away.

[pillarofruin]

We do need to find out.

All right... but, please... not for long...

[thewishfire]

Okay....

I swear, if it hurts, I'll come straight back....

[pillarofruin]

I wish you would come straight back anyway, even if it doesn't... Just so I can be with you. Oh gods, the longing. The feeling of you.

[justicewearsred]

That list of things you named... it's a pretty magnificent list, sensei.

...I think I understand more than ever, now, why you have defended him so very fiercely.

[strivinghigher]

Wait, where does all this leave me?

[thewishfire]

I... Roxis, I... oh, gods....

I... don't want it to change anything. I want to be with you, so much... I love you, and I want to stay by your side....

But, also... I... I have to stay.... I want to stay with her, too....

...Can it be okay?

Please?

[strivinghigher]

Is this even practical? If you can't even leave the room she's in...

Also, why didn't you pact with me? Why her? I, who wanted a Mana so much, for so long... who wanted to be with you so badly I destroyed my reputation... why not me, why this teacher who didn't even want you before?

[thewishfire]

Does it matter if it's practical...? I'll do something... anything... I'll work something out... just don't make me leave either of you, please! Don't make me!

I would have with you... I would have with you, too... but... you never asked.... I'm sorry... please let it not be too late....