I'm gonna pick one of these > http://www.avshop.com/catalog/product.html?productid=1615 up tonight after work. I had a chance to test out on last night on MSFS 2004. Very very nice. If you're a flight sim junkie like me, this controller is a MUST.

So I finally got an appoinement to go to the doctor about the whole depression/anxiety thing. The office visit this morning was mostly comfortable, and he explained things to me in a way that made them make sense. I explained my symptoms, thoughts, feelings, actions, family history, favorite movie, smell of my last shit, and ideas of the perfect ( Read more... )

I am so angry all the time. It's beyond the normal frustration and anger that is managable. This is the all out, vicious, hateful, relentless, violent, destructive anger. I want to kill every person I see. I want to destroy everything in my path, leaving nothing but oblivion and obliteration all around. I am tired of being so fucking angry at

So much stuff on my mind, yet nothing constructive to say. Oh, I saw Christina and her new baby this morning. I held it.

"If, when I say I might fade like a sigh if I stay..."

Every time I hear Amy Lee's voice, I get moist between the legs and feel the desire to excuse myself to the bathroom for 10 minutes... *smirk*

So Carl's got me hooked again on the whole pilot thing. This whole week, I have been listening to the Scottsdale Airport ATC chatter, streamed over the internet (http://www.squawkvfr.net/squawkHome.htm). The idea of getting my actual pilot's license has crossed my mind ( Read more... )

You know, it's funny. I never realized how many people actually *read* my journal. No, I never stopped posting. I just made all posts over the past several months private. I think it was a time that I needed to just stop projecting my thoughts and feelings outward, and learn how to handle them within. I mean, yeah. We all know that I'm fairly ( Read more... )

It's been a while since I posted. I meant to post back on the 17th, but I got busy. What's so special about November 17th, you ask? Because that date marks one year ago that I broke up with Daniela. I feel that I have made lots of progress with myself as far as confidence, neediness, self-sufficiency, sexual awareness, and a plethora of other ( Read more... )

Today I heard some news that will yet again forever change me. A good friend and previous coworker of mine was killed yesterday riding passenger in a rollover car accident. The driver was drunk. I always knew before what the effects could potentially be, but never to the degree of when it's somebody close to me. We all know what they say; you ( Read more... )

After this post, all posts will be solely private for now on. It's part of my steps to changing how I deal with things. I cannot just change how I feel about life, but I can take small steps to keep it from being right there, always in the foreground. Thanks everyone for all your input in this thing.