On this round of Devil's Advocate...

[pineapple_sour]

Women, if or when you get married, will you change your last name to your husband's? Men, do you expect your wives to do so? About 70% of Americans think so. 50% think this should be law...

When the respondents were asked why they felt women should change their name after the wedding, Hamilton says, “They told us that women should lose their own

Comments

[countessof_roth]

I have and I haven't changed my name.

I like my married name, but i've ALWAYS all my life been my maiden name. So, what i'm going to do is register my maiden name as a legal "alias" which I can do, and keep both!!!

I've changed my to my married name for my drivers liscense- A friend helped me write a resume, I sent it off and missed that detail and had to change my liscense in order for H.R. at my previous place of employment not to have a collective FIT.

[pineapple_sour]

The alias is a neat idea. Haven't thought about that.

[chibisilverwing]

I think that the way it was put in your little quote there is extreme. I think that sharing a last name is another part of being one as a couple. I do think it's a bit unfair to be forced to take HIS name, so my plan is to have a whole new one that both of us share! Then we get to feel unified but not unfairly choosing one over the other.

[pineapple_sour]

In the past I might have agreed that the quote seemed extreme. Upon thinking about it, my mind is slowly changing - in a way, with the woman traditionally giving up her name and joining the man's family, it is a shedding of her identity and who she has been up to that point. What effect does that have on the man's identity? His name stays unchanged (in fact, he even says a Mr. while the woman goes from a Ms. to a Mrs.) It goes back to when marriages were not about love but about trading property. The quote isn't that out of line to me anymore.

I do like your making up a new name, and I do agree that sharing a name nowadays is more to show a couple's common link. It's the past connotation that gives me pause and the broad assumption society makes that such a thing is still required.

[chibisilverwing]

I think there's always a such thing as taking the feminism thing too far. I don't feel like the quote was right, or anything like that but I hate it when people get over obsessed about the tiniest percieved inequality. Not like I think you're off base at the moment, just that things like this can easy get out of hand.

[centerlightpop]

I don't disagree with what you're saying here, but here's the thing for me: there comes a point where bucking tradition sort of garners more attention than it's really worth. Sure, I'd rather there was a better way to create a family name than the standard "women gives up her name and becomes mrs. husband's name." But, to do anything different (i.e. making up a brand new surname) just sort of screams "we're doing things differently!" which isn't really my style. Not to mention it would confuse everyone (which probably doesn't matter to a lot of people, but it would matter to me). I know the alternative is just to keep my own name, but I would really prefer to have the same name as my children. So what to do?

To be honest, I haven't 100% decided. But I think it's possible to be a feminist in a respectful, equal relationship and still choose to change your name to his out of simple practicality, you know?

[i_eat_kittens]

Fuck no, I love my last name. My boyfriend's last name is boring and quite common. We gave the dogs our last names (or, I did, because I'm a nutjob) and they're just hyphenated. Mine first, because it's cooler.

Most folks think my last name is Fauker or whatever that spelling is, though. It's Faulkner, god damn it, like the writer, not that stupid movie.

[pineapple_sour]

HA to the mispronunciation of your name. That has to get old.

[i_eat_kittens]

They think it's so funny. My dad thinks it's so funny that when he calls to order food somewhere, he just says his last name is Reed.

[benicek]

Hello, I just got reading your blog after you commented in the foundphoto community :)

I think it depends on cultural context. My (Czech) wife changed her name when she married (British) me. It would have been considered very bizarre in her country if she hadn't. Probably nobody would have believed she was married at all. She gained more respect by doing so, and so it was a social advantage to her. However, in the British context I really don't think anybody cares anymore. I know many married women who keep their maiden names, especially some of the doctors I work with. When you've already carved out a professional reputation under one surname it seems pointless to change it.

[pineapple_sour]

I do think you are right, changing one's name is very much immersed in culture and society.

[pineapple_sour]

PS - hi! :) You find awesome photos.