Oh, good freaking grief. They sound horrible. Maybe you should e-mail your brother and ask first? "Hey, douchebag, would it really offend you if I didn't spend time with you? You're not excited anyway, and I pretty think you want to ruin my life. So- if you don't mind- let's pretend we don't know each other"? Ahem. I mean, maybe you should ask him if it'd be OK if you skipped on it since you get the feeling he's not too excited about it anyway.
Your other brother tried to drown your dog? Good god. I think you should drown his memory.
Haha. Well of COURSE that's what I would like to do, but I'm trying to be a mature adult and show them that I've grown up and I'm not doing this to be petty. It just makes me sick at the thought of going up there and pretending that there isn't this huge elephant in the room. Plus, I know that if my brother didn't have kids this would be a non-issue. We just wouldn't see each other. Like, because he has kids I'm supposed to care more and be able to put everything aside. These magical kids that I've only met once when one was an infant are supposed to erase years of mental, sometimes physical abuse? I'm supposed to love these kids merely because they are my brother's offspring? I don't even think I love them.
The dog thing was an accident, but the fact that he refused apologize and admit that his childish behavior almost killed my dog is what upsets me.
Sorry this was heavy and long-winded. I just feel so upset about everything and I have no one to talk about it with.
"Hey brother, it seems like from what mom says you don't want to see me very much, and that is ok. My friends are dying to see me, in fact paying my way out here, they want to see me so much. I don't want to disappoint them with their giant act of generosity. And I love them and want to be with them. Can I take a rain check and see you next time?"
Or something along that line. no name calling, upfront, what you want, what you feel, straight to the point.
Fuck 'em. I have never understood why people think you have obligations towards family members that treat you like shit. It's ridiculous. It sounds like you have friends in CA that are more like family than your brothers will ever be.
I can see why people might consider it an "adult thing" to put aside past grievances and try to make up with people who have wronged you. But it seems like these guys haven't changed at all, and while you're offering an olive branch, they're likely to just trample all over it. It doesn't make sense for anyone to let someone hurt them over and over, even if it's "family".
Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for the best!
^_^ Thanks. I guess if I do it back to them then I'm not a victim anymore and I'll be taking part in the inevitable death of our relationship. Or my mother has instilled deep feelings of guilt in me. Probably both. Thanks though.
BTW....OMG Psych is love! Sean and Gus = love! Eee! We should try to meet up while I'm in Cali.
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Your other brother tried to drown your dog? Good god. I think you should drown his memory.
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The dog thing was an accident, but the fact that he refused apologize and admit that his childish behavior almost killed my dog is what upsets me.
Sorry this was heavy and long-winded. I just feel so upset about everything and I have no one to talk about it with.
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"Hey brother, it seems like from what mom says you don't want to see me very much, and that is ok. My friends are dying to see me, in fact paying my way out here, they want to see me so much. I don't want to disappoint them with their giant act of generosity. And I love them and want to be with them. Can I take a rain check and see you next time?"
Or something along that line.
no name calling, upfront, what you want, what you feel, straight to the point.
Reply
Reply
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I can see why people might consider it an "adult thing" to put aside past grievances and try to make up with people who have wronged you. But it seems like these guys haven't changed at all, and while you're offering an olive branch, they're likely to just trample all over it. It doesn't make sense for anyone to let someone hurt them over and over, even if it's "family".
Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for the best!
Reply
BTW....OMG Psych is love! Sean and Gus = love! Eee! We should try to meet up while I'm in Cali.
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Psych makes me smile. I discovered it late though, so I've got a lot of catching up to do!
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