Hmmph
Another Christmas come and gone. I got some very nice things, but I don't deserve them. I should have had nothing under the tree for me. It makes me unbelievably sad that my parents still love me and care about me after the years of pain I've caused them. They don't deserve the pain I've caused them. They shouldn't still be sticking by me.
Everyone is worried about me. I'm worried about me too. Today was Teddy's birthday. He would have been 23 years old. I relapsed again. This situation is so much harder than I thought. I honestly don't think I can do it on my own. I need to go to a 21 day treatment center. I know I do. But I can't miss anymore work and school. I've worked so incredibly hard to be able to graduate in June, just so that I can have the honor of walking across the stage and getting that recognition. I can't miss anymore work either. I have thousands of dollars in credit card debts, not to mention my car payments and car insurance that I have to pay every month. Oh, and there's tuition and books. I know that this is going to sound really stupid, I was already told tonight that my health is more important than my goals, but I think I will wait until Winter quarter finishes up, then go to a 21 day treatment center. I found one that specializes in prescription addiction, so I may call them up this week and talk to them. The only problem is that it is in California. The site says that most insurance will pay for it, which the insurance of the drunk driver who hit me will actually end up paying, I found out. I'm still assuming that it will be really expensive, though.
I think if I keep staying busy, then I will be able to make it until March. School starts on Jan. 7th. I'm going to beg my boss to let me work 35-40 hours a week during that time. So then I'll have school from 8:30-10:20. And if possible, I would love to find a job where I could work 8 hours a day, saturday and sunday, too. I need to just stay as busy as possible right now. Does anyone know a job where that would be possible?
Everyone is worried about me. I'm worried about me too. Today was Teddy's birthday. He would have been 23 years old. I relapsed again. This situation is so much harder than I thought. I honestly don't think I can do it on my own. I need to go to a 21 day treatment center. I know I do. But I can't miss anymore work and school. I've worked so incredibly hard to be able to graduate in June, just so that I can have the honor of walking across the stage and getting that recognition. I can't miss anymore work either. I have thousands of dollars in credit card debts, not to mention my car payments and car insurance that I have to pay every month. Oh, and there's tuition and books. I know that this is going to sound really stupid, I was already told tonight that my health is more important than my goals, but I think I will wait until Winter quarter finishes up, then go to a 21 day treatment center. I found one that specializes in prescription addiction, so I may call them up this week and talk to them. The only problem is that it is in California. The site says that most insurance will pay for it, which the insurance of the drunk driver who hit me will actually end up paying, I found out. I'm still assuming that it will be really expensive, though.
I think if I keep staying busy, then I will be able to make it until March. School starts on Jan. 7th. I'm going to beg my boss to let me work 35-40 hours a week during that time. So then I'll have school from 8:30-10:20. And if possible, I would love to find a job where I could work 8 hours a day, saturday and sunday, too. I need to just stay as busy as possible right now. Does anyone know a job where that would be possible?