jumbles

[pinknlemon]

My head is all full, and I feel like I need to release some of my thoughts to free up some space. And I know they won't go away just because I am writing them, but they seem to take up less space when I share them

Comments

[ex_geekygab]

I never initiate outings with friends, only because I am usually fine by myself. And sometimes (although silly), I feel like I am imposing.I'm kinda like that too. For me, at least, it's the whole introvert thing. I love being around my friends, and for the most part they understand that I need my recharge time after anything remotely social. But I suck at initiating stuff with people. Deep down I'm worried that I'm going to bother them. And I have a huge aversion to calling people. I'm afraid that I'll be intruding, that they will have been sleeping/eating/whatever right when the phone rang. My friends who don't live here sometimes think that, since I don't call them, I'm shutting them out-which isn't true. But perception is reality, so all I can do is reiterate to them my fierce and undying loyalty, tempered though it may be with my introvert issues

[im_apsycho]

the last part of your entry (about the deciding to just be friends, forgiving, feeling foolish, apology letter) is pretty much the EXACT thing i'm going through right now. it's crazy. and i know how you feel right now. but you gotta keep your head up. that's what i've been having to keep tell myself for the past few days. it's hard for me to actually believe that statenent, but i think that if i say it enough, at some point it will manage to manifest itself into my life. maybe you weren't looking for a response like this to this entry, but as i was reading, i saw the past week of my life flash before my eyes. and i couldn't help it. this is crazyness. peace and love to you.

[im_apsycho]

I would love to be forgiven, but, at this point, I don't see that happening. Granted, it has only been a few days. I acted in a way that I have NEVER acted before, nor did I even know I was capable of. Nothing violent; nothing physical. Just emotional disappointment. Lots of it. And I think the person who will have to hardest time forgiving me, is me. Although forgiveness may not be in my future, I do want this person to know how completely foolish I feel. If you are reading this, you know who you are. I expect nothing, and I can only hope that you know how incredibly sorry I am. Maybe one day we can be friends again...but I will understand if this is not a possibility.

i just needed to reiterate that this is exactly my life right now.