In a predicament

Dec 13, 2010 22:37

Wow. I never really come on here to update much do I? Not that too many of you are interested. But recently I've come upon a predicament, a problem of sorts.

A little over a month ago I found out about this scholarship that could send me to Japan next year for a year!! If you don't know, Japan is my second home. A place of my heart will always be there. Only one person from our college earns the scholarship each year. Not many people apply (yay) but the people who do are like me, obsessed and will do anything to get it.

I'd be attending Dokkyo University, a school that has an exchange program with my college. I'm a freshman in college now. Sensei always said to study abroad your sophomore year because it's in between your basic freshman courses and before you get into your hardcore major classes. This will take place next year, during my sophomore year.

This past June I studied abroad at a Japanese high school for two/three weeks and made so many good relationships. I had to leave just as I was getting to know people. My host sister will graduate this March and, as it turns out, attend Dokkyo University. (Small world right?) I have a few friends here at college that also attend Dokkyo and will go back at the end of the summer.

But the problem lies at what I'd really like to do. I've made so MANY great friends this year - more than I can count on my hands and feet. I'd hate to leave them after just one year and have them forget me and move on without me. But it'd mean giving up a chance to go to Japan! for a year! I must be going crazy. I started writing this and quit halfway through thinking "what the fuck am I doing? This is Japan I'm talking about." but then I thought about it again. I mean, it must be getting to me. The past two nights I've had half-nightmareish dreams about going to Japan and 1) not supposed to be there and having to stay hidden or 2) being in the wrong place at the wrong time and being an embarrassment.

I'd really like to go back. I need to go back. Really, I do. I've made so many relationships both here and there. and I don't know what to do. Input?

That is.. if I win the scholarship. It's due at the beginning of March. Wish me luck?

Also, note my new icon: Hyungseok. I'm going to marry this man.

japan

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