[fanfic] Reverie 2//?
Reverie | Eunhae, Haemin | 2//? 2,343 words | R (for character death and implications of sex; PG-13 overall) | Warnings: chara death | Donghae experiences the one thing in life he fears most and Sungmin is the only one there to help him cope. (worthless summary, I know)
I like animals for a reason, well, many reasons. The moment I walked in the door. Choco and Bada greeted me not eagerly and jumping but concerned and whimpering and pawing at my pants legs. They knew something was wrong. Changing into whatever clothes I could find on the floor, not minding how clean they were (They were cleaner than what I was wearing anyway.) I collapsed on the couch. There was no way I'd enter our room, not without him. It'd just make this house feel even emptier and quiet. Curled up on the couch with no intent on sleeping, I felt Bada and Choco rest at my ankles sympathetically.
Oblivious to what I was doing, I dove into my memory and recollected on everything. Hyukjae stood over me glowing and stretching out a hand. I had fallen off my bike after nearly getting hit by a car. That's how we met four years ago. His arms embraced me in the greatest, most meaningful hug anyone could ever give at my father's funeral. He had always been there for me, that sweetheart. I caught him in the audience of my college graduation with the hugest, dorkiest smile plastered on his face. I was the luckiest man on Earth. He chased me around the house in our pyjamas down the hall, lapped around the kitchen table a few times. He was mad, no he was upset; Hyukjae never got mad. He was upset that I didn't take his dog into the vet while he was out of town. He cornered me in the bathroom, pressed me up against the sink and started unbuttoning my shirt. He called this punishment? I don't even know if this memory is real or just a dream. It stopped there when the doorbell rang.
I must sleep violently because Bada and Choco awoke from their positions on the floor when I stood up. Behind the front door stood a handsome, smiling young man no more than a year older than myself, I assumed. He was in a nice suit with his black hair laying softly upon his head. "Who smiles at a time like this?" was the first thing I said to him as I led him inside. I chuckled for the first time in hours to myself at how fast that smile wiped off his face at my remark.
"My name is Lee Sungmin, investigator." He bowed slightly.
"I'm sorry you have to see me like this," I mumbled and ruffled the hair on the back of my head. "What time is it?"
"It's 8:30 sir. Would you like to sit down?" I didn't speak. I knew this moment was coming. I just brought him to the kitchen table and grabbed two glasses and filled them to the brim with water. "Your boss has been alerted of the incident and given us access to the security tapes. The store has been closed momentarily for a brief clean-up. You've been given until at least its reopening to recover. By the looks of it, you haven't contacted his family?"
"By the looks of it?! What are-"
"I'm sorry. It's just-. No worries. We hadn't expected you to."
"No, I'm sorry. I haven't." I pulled out my phone and nearly broke down in tears for the hundredth time at the sight of it. The background was a photo of us kissing at the park a couple blocks down. I would have thrown my phone in order not to see what I'd never have again, but Sungmin must have suspected something. Behind me he had grabbed my wrist in mid-air before my phone had shattered to a hundred pieces.
"May I?" I placed the phone in his hand as if I had no other option. I had him call on speaker. Although I'd rather speak, he insisted. Hearing the dial tone ring was like standing in the train tracks hearing the train approach with nowhere to run. It rang once; the train was coming. It rang twice; my heart became heavy. It rang a third time; I panicked and couldn't think straight. Half way through the fourth ring a voice came through the other line.
"Hello? Donghae, dear?" The train hit me dead on; I was a disorientated mess.
"Umma," I struggled to speak through choked back tears. I'm surprised she heard me.
"Ma'am. This is investigator Lee Sungmin. I'm here with Donghae. I'm very rued to inform you that your son, Lee Hyukjae, was shot and killed late last night."
"Is this a joke?" She managed to say.
"Mianhae Umma (I'm sorry mom.)."
"Donghae..." A loud muffled crash came from her end indicating she dropped the phone.
A minute later muffled sobs could be heard and I could no longer hold mine back. There's something about telling the parents the makes it the most difficult and disheartening. "Your son is currently at Asan Medical Hospital if you'd like to see him. You can speak to me or one of the doctors there about a funeral."
"Th-thank... you," between sobs was all we heard before she hung up. She hadn't even said goodbye. it felt as if a nail stabbed the core of my heart. The background picture of us returned and I stumbled carelessly out of the kitchen leaving my phone on the table.
"The hardest part is over," Sungmin sat me down on the couch and handed me one of the glasses of water neither of us had previously touched. "On a positive note, we have a skilled investigation team who have already uncovered the perpetrator's estimated height - 183 centimetres and with short black hair - I have yet to see the tapes myself. And the type of gun he-"
"I don't care how he killed Hyukjae. I just want him to rot in prison for the rest of eternity!" I chugged half the water in attempt to calm down and nearly chocked on it. I forgot I hadn't eaten since yesterday afternoon and my stomach ached when the water hit the pit of emptiness.
"I'm proud. Most people would want the perpetrator dead."
"How could I wish this misery upon anyone. Surely the man has a family who loves him. Maybe. Who'd love a murderer? But how would they feel if their son was killed?"
"You have a very kind heart Donghae." He rubbed my knee and for some unknown reason, I felt a little relieved. "You two were very close. I can tell." He motioned towards the couple picture frames of us on the coffee table and the bottle of lube carelessly tossed on the floor from our birthday sex a few nights prior. I blushed at that. "Can you tell me about him, anything you're willing to share that will help solve this or hint at who would have done this," he asked switching topics.
I revisited my memories from a few hours prior. From the four years we had known each other, he had always been the highlight in everyone's life. This had to have been a mistake. Maybe the killer wanted to take me instead. "He was employed at a software company as a developer, the bubbly, easy-going type. He's always wanting to compromise."
At our feet Bada and Choco whined. I wasn't the only one who hadn't eaten since yesterday. "Excuse me." The dogs followed eagerly outside to do their business. Outside the air smelled of rebirth. Flowers budded in the garden we planted together and the sun shone brightly in the cloudless sky. It was a lie, like the sun on an abnormally chilly spring day. How could everyone continue with their daily lives after last night's tragedy? It was a rhetorical question. Clearly not everyone had lost the sunshine of their life. Proof was in the sky.
Back inside Sungmin was at the sink refilling my glass. "Would you like some help Donghae-sshi?"
"Is it in your job description to feed clients' pets?" I barked.
"If you don't want-"
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. But in case you haven't noticed, I lost my fiancé to some dick head last night, haven't eaten in over 15 hours, I'm not even sure if I slept last night and I'm a little on the edge." I began wondering what was actually part of his job and what he was willingly doing after he offered to cook breakfast. Either way, he was starting to grow on me, kind of like Shindong last night. For each asshole in the world there always seems to be a handful, maybe two handfuls of people willing to brighten your day. Hyukjae was also one of these people.
With the dogs fed, I sat at the kitchen table while Sungmin cooked ramen. To be honest, food wasn't my top priority. My chest ached more than anything and it wasn't something a couple drug store pain relievers would heal. I hardly noticed when a bowl of steaming ramen was placed in front of me. I was too preoccupied with Hyukjae's mother and the too-short phone call. Has she alerted his father? She'd be a fool not to. What about his noona? But most importantly, why did she believe so quickly? I certainly didn't. Did she suspect something? No, impossible.
"Sungmin?"
"Hm? He looked up from clasping and unclasping his watch repeatedly at the other end of the table. I wondered for a moment if he had anything more professional to be doing but brushed the thought away. "How would you go about killing an angel?"
"How would I-? You can't be talking about Hyukjae?"
"Why not?"
"No one can actually live as an angel. You're delusional. Please eat; I'm worried for you. Don't make me spoon feed you. And let me tell you, that's not in my job description." To be honest, I kind of wouldn't mind that. I wouldn't mind having someone care for me. These past twelve hours have been nothing but pestering and questioning and tears. But he wouldn't find that out. I mustered enough will power to pick up my chopsticks and take a bite. Not going to lie, this boy could cook.
"Do you have a special someone Sungmin-sshi?" I don't know what got into me. The past few hours, I can't seem to speak and when I do my thoughts are half processed by the time my words come out.
"I-err-...no."
"Why not? You're cute. I bet the ladies come pouring over you." I slurped a noodle between my lips, splattering a light amount of soup on my face when I took in the tail end.
"It's... not really like that. Can we please get back to your lover? What was he like? You haven't said much. Did he have any enemies?"
"Look Mister. I already told you. Hyukjae is flawless. He's an angel and now he's flown away."
He massaged the bridge of his nose between two fingers and sighed deeply. I had begun to wonder if he'd given up on me, if he thought I wasn't worth his time. But I noticed his eyes jump slightly upon seeing something on the wall behind me. "That picture," He pointed. "Where was it taken? You two were cute together." I didn't have to turn around to know what he was talking about. Instantly my mind travelled back two years.
"It was January 2009. We went up north to go skiing in the mountains." I don't know if he responded. All I could think about was the glowing fire in the fireplace dancing behind us as we sat on the mantle in the lodge. Warm cappuccino-filled cups in our hands repaired them from the frigid outside air. I sipped from a red cup eagerly, nearly scalding the inside of my mouth completely. Hyukjae clasped both hands around his cup patiently waiting for it to cool. He had a blue cup - it always had to be blue. He teased me for being so fool-hardy, mentioned something about after twenty four years, one should know when a beverage is too hot to drink. He had the most precious laugh. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and placed his coffee on the mantle next to him in order to grab his camera from his bag. That gummy smile must surely be permanent on his face by now. I couldn't help but laugh with him - not at my foolishness, but at him, at his I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing selca skills and at us. It was an overjoyed, I-couldn't-be-happier laugh. When he pressed the shutter button, he moved in and planted a surprise kiss on my cheek. Despite the weather we just came from, his lips were soft. I don't know why, but I blushed. It was picture perfect.
At the kitchen table, I brushed my hand across my cheek searching for any sort of imprint a kiss could leave. Sungmin's words pierced though my ears repeatedly. You two were cute together. You... two... cute... together... together... were. Were...past tense. Nothing, nothing but time would bring us together again... not unless.
I rushed up suddenly once again knocking over the chair like I had at the hospital. That dizzy, black haze from standing up too quickly clouded my vision, but that didn't stop me from stumbling to the kitchen counter. We had only lived here for a year or so, yet I knew where it was. I whipped open a drawer so strongly it sent itself and its contents crashing to the floor. Without thinking, I grabbed a knife from the pile and let the silver blade slide against my skin softly at first and then with more pressure. A crimson coloured liquid slowly seeped through cuts in my skin. My head became heavy. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop. Over and over again the blade contacted my skin. A hand grabbed my wrists. A force began pulling me to my feet, but it didn't matter. Black patched started covering my vision. Already weak, my knees collapsed beneath me and I smacked my head on the wooden cupboard when the same force previously pulling me up collapsed on top of me.
Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three
A/N: You have no idea how hard this chapter was to write. I just couldn't make it flow. He wasn't even supposed to do that. I hope this isn't a fail chapter.
Next update coming in the next few days. I'm a work-a-holic. :(((
I like animals for a reason, well, many reasons. The moment I walked in the door. Choco and Bada greeted me not eagerly and jumping but concerned and whimpering and pawing at my pants legs. They knew something was wrong. Changing into whatever clothes I could find on the floor, not minding how clean they were (They were cleaner than what I was wearing anyway.) I collapsed on the couch. There was no way I'd enter our room, not without him. It'd just make this house feel even emptier and quiet. Curled up on the couch with no intent on sleeping, I felt Bada and Choco rest at my ankles sympathetically.
Oblivious to what I was doing, I dove into my memory and recollected on everything. Hyukjae stood over me glowing and stretching out a hand. I had fallen off my bike after nearly getting hit by a car. That's how we met four years ago. His arms embraced me in the greatest, most meaningful hug anyone could ever give at my father's funeral. He had always been there for me, that sweetheart. I caught him in the audience of my college graduation with the hugest, dorkiest smile plastered on his face. I was the luckiest man on Earth. He chased me around the house in our pyjamas down the hall, lapped around the kitchen table a few times. He was mad, no he was upset; Hyukjae never got mad. He was upset that I didn't take his dog into the vet while he was out of town. He cornered me in the bathroom, pressed me up against the sink and started unbuttoning my shirt. He called this punishment? I don't even know if this memory is real or just a dream. It stopped there when the doorbell rang.
I must sleep violently because Bada and Choco awoke from their positions on the floor when I stood up. Behind the front door stood a handsome, smiling young man no more than a year older than myself, I assumed. He was in a nice suit with his black hair laying softly upon his head. "Who smiles at a time like this?" was the first thing I said to him as I led him inside. I chuckled for the first time in hours to myself at how fast that smile wiped off his face at my remark.
"My name is Lee Sungmin, investigator." He bowed slightly.
"I'm sorry you have to see me like this," I mumbled and ruffled the hair on the back of my head. "What time is it?"
"It's 8:30 sir. Would you like to sit down?" I didn't speak. I knew this moment was coming. I just brought him to the kitchen table and grabbed two glasses and filled them to the brim with water. "Your boss has been alerted of the incident and given us access to the security tapes. The store has been closed momentarily for a brief clean-up. You've been given until at least its reopening to recover. By the looks of it, you haven't contacted his family?"
"By the looks of it?! What are-"
"I'm sorry. It's just-. No worries. We hadn't expected you to."
"No, I'm sorry. I haven't." I pulled out my phone and nearly broke down in tears for the hundredth time at the sight of it. The background was a photo of us kissing at the park a couple blocks down. I would have thrown my phone in order not to see what I'd never have again, but Sungmin must have suspected something. Behind me he had grabbed my wrist in mid-air before my phone had shattered to a hundred pieces.
"May I?" I placed the phone in his hand as if I had no other option. I had him call on speaker. Although I'd rather speak, he insisted. Hearing the dial tone ring was like standing in the train tracks hearing the train approach with nowhere to run. It rang once; the train was coming. It rang twice; my heart became heavy. It rang a third time; I panicked and couldn't think straight. Half way through the fourth ring a voice came through the other line.
"Hello? Donghae, dear?" The train hit me dead on; I was a disorientated mess.
"Umma," I struggled to speak through choked back tears. I'm surprised she heard me.
"Ma'am. This is investigator Lee Sungmin. I'm here with Donghae. I'm very rued to inform you that your son, Lee Hyukjae, was shot and killed late last night."
"Is this a joke?" She managed to say.
"Mianhae Umma (I'm sorry mom.)."
"Donghae..." A loud muffled crash came from her end indicating she dropped the phone.
A minute later muffled sobs could be heard and I could no longer hold mine back. There's something about telling the parents the makes it the most difficult and disheartening. "Your son is currently at Asan Medical Hospital if you'd like to see him. You can speak to me or one of the doctors there about a funeral."
"Th-thank... you," between sobs was all we heard before she hung up. She hadn't even said goodbye. it felt as if a nail stabbed the core of my heart. The background picture of us returned and I stumbled carelessly out of the kitchen leaving my phone on the table.
"The hardest part is over," Sungmin sat me down on the couch and handed me one of the glasses of water neither of us had previously touched. "On a positive note, we have a skilled investigation team who have already uncovered the perpetrator's estimated height - 183 centimetres and with short black hair - I have yet to see the tapes myself. And the type of gun he-"
"I don't care how he killed Hyukjae. I just want him to rot in prison for the rest of eternity!" I chugged half the water in attempt to calm down and nearly chocked on it. I forgot I hadn't eaten since yesterday afternoon and my stomach ached when the water hit the pit of emptiness.
"I'm proud. Most people would want the perpetrator dead."
"How could I wish this misery upon anyone. Surely the man has a family who loves him. Maybe. Who'd love a murderer? But how would they feel if their son was killed?"
"You have a very kind heart Donghae." He rubbed my knee and for some unknown reason, I felt a little relieved. "You two were very close. I can tell." He motioned towards the couple picture frames of us on the coffee table and the bottle of lube carelessly tossed on the floor from our birthday sex a few nights prior. I blushed at that. "Can you tell me about him, anything you're willing to share that will help solve this or hint at who would have done this," he asked switching topics.
I revisited my memories from a few hours prior. From the four years we had known each other, he had always been the highlight in everyone's life. This had to have been a mistake. Maybe the killer wanted to take me instead. "He was employed at a software company as a developer, the bubbly, easy-going type. He's always wanting to compromise."
At our feet Bada and Choco whined. I wasn't the only one who hadn't eaten since yesterday. "Excuse me." The dogs followed eagerly outside to do their business. Outside the air smelled of rebirth. Flowers budded in the garden we planted together and the sun shone brightly in the cloudless sky. It was a lie, like the sun on an abnormally chilly spring day. How could everyone continue with their daily lives after last night's tragedy? It was a rhetorical question. Clearly not everyone had lost the sunshine of their life. Proof was in the sky.
Back inside Sungmin was at the sink refilling my glass. "Would you like some help Donghae-sshi?"
"Is it in your job description to feed clients' pets?" I barked.
"If you don't want-"
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. But in case you haven't noticed, I lost my fiancé to some dick head last night, haven't eaten in over 15 hours, I'm not even sure if I slept last night and I'm a little on the edge." I began wondering what was actually part of his job and what he was willingly doing after he offered to cook breakfast. Either way, he was starting to grow on me, kind of like Shindong last night. For each asshole in the world there always seems to be a handful, maybe two handfuls of people willing to brighten your day. Hyukjae was also one of these people.
With the dogs fed, I sat at the kitchen table while Sungmin cooked ramen. To be honest, food wasn't my top priority. My chest ached more than anything and it wasn't something a couple drug store pain relievers would heal. I hardly noticed when a bowl of steaming ramen was placed in front of me. I was too preoccupied with Hyukjae's mother and the too-short phone call. Has she alerted his father? She'd be a fool not to. What about his noona? But most importantly, why did she believe so quickly? I certainly didn't. Did she suspect something? No, impossible.
"Sungmin?"
"Hm? He looked up from clasping and unclasping his watch repeatedly at the other end of the table. I wondered for a moment if he had anything more professional to be doing but brushed the thought away. "How would you go about killing an angel?"
"How would I-? You can't be talking about Hyukjae?"
"Why not?"
"No one can actually live as an angel. You're delusional. Please eat; I'm worried for you. Don't make me spoon feed you. And let me tell you, that's not in my job description." To be honest, I kind of wouldn't mind that. I wouldn't mind having someone care for me. These past twelve hours have been nothing but pestering and questioning and tears. But he wouldn't find that out. I mustered enough will power to pick up my chopsticks and take a bite. Not going to lie, this boy could cook.
"Do you have a special someone Sungmin-sshi?" I don't know what got into me. The past few hours, I can't seem to speak and when I do my thoughts are half processed by the time my words come out.
"I-err-...no."
"Why not? You're cute. I bet the ladies come pouring over you." I slurped a noodle between my lips, splattering a light amount of soup on my face when I took in the tail end.
"It's... not really like that. Can we please get back to your lover? What was he like? You haven't said much. Did he have any enemies?"
"Look Mister. I already told you. Hyukjae is flawless. He's an angel and now he's flown away."
He massaged the bridge of his nose between two fingers and sighed deeply. I had begun to wonder if he'd given up on me, if he thought I wasn't worth his time. But I noticed his eyes jump slightly upon seeing something on the wall behind me. "That picture," He pointed. "Where was it taken? You two were cute together." I didn't have to turn around to know what he was talking about. Instantly my mind travelled back two years.
"It was January 2009. We went up north to go skiing in the mountains." I don't know if he responded. All I could think about was the glowing fire in the fireplace dancing behind us as we sat on the mantle in the lodge. Warm cappuccino-filled cups in our hands repaired them from the frigid outside air. I sipped from a red cup eagerly, nearly scalding the inside of my mouth completely. Hyukjae clasped both hands around his cup patiently waiting for it to cool. He had a blue cup - it always had to be blue. He teased me for being so fool-hardy, mentioned something about after twenty four years, one should know when a beverage is too hot to drink. He had the most precious laugh. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and placed his coffee on the mantle next to him in order to grab his camera from his bag. That gummy smile must surely be permanent on his face by now. I couldn't help but laugh with him - not at my foolishness, but at him, at his I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing selca skills and at us. It was an overjoyed, I-couldn't-be-happier laugh. When he pressed the shutter button, he moved in and planted a surprise kiss on my cheek. Despite the weather we just came from, his lips were soft. I don't know why, but I blushed. It was picture perfect.
At the kitchen table, I brushed my hand across my cheek searching for any sort of imprint a kiss could leave. Sungmin's words pierced though my ears repeatedly. You two were cute together. You... two... cute... together... together... were. Were...past tense. Nothing, nothing but time would bring us together again... not unless.
I rushed up suddenly once again knocking over the chair like I had at the hospital. That dizzy, black haze from standing up too quickly clouded my vision, but that didn't stop me from stumbling to the kitchen counter. We had only lived here for a year or so, yet I knew where it was. I whipped open a drawer so strongly it sent itself and its contents crashing to the floor. Without thinking, I grabbed a knife from the pile and let the silver blade slide against my skin softly at first and then with more pressure. A crimson coloured liquid slowly seeped through cuts in my skin. My head became heavy. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop. Over and over again the blade contacted my skin. A hand grabbed my wrists. A force began pulling me to my feet, but it didn't matter. Black patched started covering my vision. Already weak, my knees collapsed beneath me and I smacked my head on the wooden cupboard when the same force previously pulling me up collapsed on top of me.
Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three
A/N: You have no idea how hard this chapter was to write. I just couldn't make it flow. He wasn't even supposed to do that. I hope this isn't a fail chapter.
Next update coming in the next few days. I'm a work-a-holic. :(((