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Apr 22, 2017 11:01

Well we are in Arizona! Arrived on Monday and stayed with my parents until the movers got here on Thursday. Everything went smoothly with the drive down, we stayed at a really nice hotel which was great ( Read more... )

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susandennis April 22 2017, 18:24:39 UTC
I've had a very rich, rewarding and wonderful life. I am now 68 and can see that looking back from here. BUT I will also tell you that for the vast majority of those years, I felt EXACTLY like you describe. I felt like a fraud who's luck was going to run out any minute. I knew my future was going to be as a bag lady and that everyone would then find out what a major fuck up I was.

Patience. And compassion for yourself. That's what you need :)

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pinmedown April 22 2017, 18:36:21 UTC
Yes! A fraud, thats exactly the feeling! It makes me feel so much better to know someone has had similar feelings. Knowing how it all turned out now, I would be interested to know why you think that 'bag lady' fear stayed with you for so long? Part of me thinks I almost use the fear as a source of twisted motivation. Thanks for your valuable input Susan!! Really fascinating.

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susandennis April 22 2017, 18:43:26 UTC
I honestly have no idea. I do remember, however, not even 10 years ago, when I still felt like that, I picked up a book one day about choosing to be single and was thumbing through the Table of Contents. There, before my eyes, was a chapter called "The Bag Lady Fear".

It's not just you and me. I think it's really common. I think lots of people are not nearly as comfortable with their own 'wins' as we think they should be or as they think they should be.

It's just the way it is. And, I think using it as motivation is the very best thing ever. It's the perfect way to 'own' it. Go!

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glove_to_face April 22 2017, 21:30:20 UTC
Yay!! You seem like a very sensible, intelligent, hard-working person, so Oregon will miss ya! So many REAL frauds round these parts. You are not one of them.

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pinmedown April 24 2017, 14:57:01 UTC
Awe thanks! That means a lot :)

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acorn_love April 24 2017, 14:18:39 UTC
Your last paragraph describes exactly how I've been feeling lately (or maybe how I've felt forever).

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oceandreamer86 April 24 2017, 21:45:16 UTC

I get your guilt about complaining but you're in a phase of life that is very interesting to me! I like reading how you handle yo business dealings and shady realtors! I miiiight be buying a house in Fort Collins so it's helpful to read about your experiences, keep writing!

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pinmedown April 25 2017, 23:48:59 UTC
thanks! I appreciate the interest :)

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