More B5 fic
Title: Z Minus
Rating: PG
Fandom: Babylon 5
Pairing: Sheridan/Delenn
Spoilers: 3.16-3.17 "War Without End" and 3.20 "And the Rock Cried Out No Hiding Place"
Summary: John thinks about Delenn and the war.
***
He's happy. For the first time in months, John is truly happy. He's smiling, joking with his staff, spending more time outside the War Room than inside. Ivanova comments on the change, looking relieved but also a bit suspicious. She asks him what happened, saying that she hasn't seen him look so cheerful all year. John gives nothing away, just smiles and changes the subject.
Ivanova could probably guess, considering what she had been the inadvertent witness to several weeks ago. But if Susan has figured it out, she hasn't said anything. John is grateful for her discretion, or her ignorance, whichever allows her to overlook the times when Delenn enters the War Room, sits down beside him, and slips her hand into his-- thus commanding his complete attention for the duration of her stay.
John doesn't tell anyone what's going on or what happened aboard the White Star. It's his secret, his and Delenn's. He wants to keep it that way as long as possible.
For the last few days, he's spent all his off-duty time with Delenn. In his quarters, in hers... it doesn't matter. They share dinner and conversation, discussing everything that doesn't relate to work or the war. Sometimes they take a walk around the station, browsing the stores and vendor stands, or sit in the Zen Garden, looking up at the transport cars moving along their routes. Sometimes he buys something for her-- a small carving or some flowers-- just to see her eyes light up, just to hear her admonish him, lightly and without conviction, to save his credits.
He enjoys their outings. It's one of the few times when he doesn't have to be John Sheridan, former Earthforce captain and current renegade leader of Babylon 5, when he doesn't have to deal with all the responsibilities that come with those roles. For a few hours, he can be an ordinary man on a date with a lovely woman. These days, that's enough.
Delenn has looked happy recently, too, and John takes satisfaction in knowing that he's the cause of some-- if not most-- of that happiness.
He's been teaching her things lately, things about how humans give and receive pleasure. She's an eager learner and a quick study. They kiss on his couch, touching and exploring, Delenn alternating between sighing with contentment and laughing at him as John distractedly tries to give instructions. So far, this teaching thing hasn't been working out so great. Delenn has her own ideas...
It's gotten a little difficult in public, sometimes, knowing what he does about her. He looks at her during a meeting of the War Council, composed and attentive and calm, listening to G'kar report on his Narns, and thinks about how the night before she was sitting in his lap, eyes glazed over with pleasure, clutching his shoulders and breathing his name as he kissed his way down the line of her jaw...
It's all he can do not to grin stupidly at her, not to spend the entire meeting daydreaming about what he's going to do the next time they're alone together.
John is happy. Blissfully, deliriously happy.
But he knows it won't last.
He knows that someday they'll have to make sacrifices and things will get very bad before they get better.
He knows that someday he'll leave her and he won't come back.
(He knows, because he's seen Delenn's wearied face, seventeen years in the future, pain etched in every line.)
Outside the station, a war rages. Darkness is approaching.
It's the elephant in the room, the nagging feeling in the back of his mind-- the fact that the Shadows are coming and there's nothing he can do to stop them. He can ignore the war when he's off-duty with Delenn, but that luxury won't be an option much longer.
He and Delenn are in the center of it all. They stand in the eye of the storm, chaos swirling around them, and they wait for the darkness to move toward them.
John hates the waiting, hates the inevitability, hates feeling trapped. He doesn't feel like accepting that this happy routine he's created is going to end. Delenn gives him hope for a brighter future and he doesn't want to let go of that hope.
So he spends all his off-duty hours with her. He walks with her around the station and buys her roses. He tells her about baseball, and his family, and how he had wanted to serve in Earthforce since he was a kid. He kisses her because she's the sweetest thing he's ever tasted and he can't get enough.
And he's happy.
end.
Rating: PG
Fandom: Babylon 5
Pairing: Sheridan/Delenn
Spoilers: 3.16-3.17 "War Without End" and 3.20 "And the Rock Cried Out No Hiding Place"
Summary: John thinks about Delenn and the war.
***
He's happy. For the first time in months, John is truly happy. He's smiling, joking with his staff, spending more time outside the War Room than inside. Ivanova comments on the change, looking relieved but also a bit suspicious. She asks him what happened, saying that she hasn't seen him look so cheerful all year. John gives nothing away, just smiles and changes the subject.
Ivanova could probably guess, considering what she had been the inadvertent witness to several weeks ago. But if Susan has figured it out, she hasn't said anything. John is grateful for her discretion, or her ignorance, whichever allows her to overlook the times when Delenn enters the War Room, sits down beside him, and slips her hand into his-- thus commanding his complete attention for the duration of her stay.
John doesn't tell anyone what's going on or what happened aboard the White Star. It's his secret, his and Delenn's. He wants to keep it that way as long as possible.
For the last few days, he's spent all his off-duty time with Delenn. In his quarters, in hers... it doesn't matter. They share dinner and conversation, discussing everything that doesn't relate to work or the war. Sometimes they take a walk around the station, browsing the stores and vendor stands, or sit in the Zen Garden, looking up at the transport cars moving along their routes. Sometimes he buys something for her-- a small carving or some flowers-- just to see her eyes light up, just to hear her admonish him, lightly and without conviction, to save his credits.
He enjoys their outings. It's one of the few times when he doesn't have to be John Sheridan, former Earthforce captain and current renegade leader of Babylon 5, when he doesn't have to deal with all the responsibilities that come with those roles. For a few hours, he can be an ordinary man on a date with a lovely woman. These days, that's enough.
Delenn has looked happy recently, too, and John takes satisfaction in knowing that he's the cause of some-- if not most-- of that happiness.
He's been teaching her things lately, things about how humans give and receive pleasure. She's an eager learner and a quick study. They kiss on his couch, touching and exploring, Delenn alternating between sighing with contentment and laughing at him as John distractedly tries to give instructions. So far, this teaching thing hasn't been working out so great. Delenn has her own ideas...
It's gotten a little difficult in public, sometimes, knowing what he does about her. He looks at her during a meeting of the War Council, composed and attentive and calm, listening to G'kar report on his Narns, and thinks about how the night before she was sitting in his lap, eyes glazed over with pleasure, clutching his shoulders and breathing his name as he kissed his way down the line of her jaw...
It's all he can do not to grin stupidly at her, not to spend the entire meeting daydreaming about what he's going to do the next time they're alone together.
John is happy. Blissfully, deliriously happy.
But he knows it won't last.
He knows that someday they'll have to make sacrifices and things will get very bad before they get better.
He knows that someday he'll leave her and he won't come back.
(He knows, because he's seen Delenn's wearied face, seventeen years in the future, pain etched in every line.)
Outside the station, a war rages. Darkness is approaching.
It's the elephant in the room, the nagging feeling in the back of his mind-- the fact that the Shadows are coming and there's nothing he can do to stop them. He can ignore the war when he's off-duty with Delenn, but that luxury won't be an option much longer.
He and Delenn are in the center of it all. They stand in the eye of the storm, chaos swirling around them, and they wait for the darkness to move toward them.
John hates the waiting, hates the inevitability, hates feeling trapped. He doesn't feel like accepting that this happy routine he's created is going to end. Delenn gives him hope for a brighter future and he doesn't want to let go of that hope.
So he spends all his off-duty hours with her. He walks with her around the station and buys her roses. He tells her about baseball, and his family, and how he had wanted to serve in Earthforce since he was a kid. He kisses her because she's the sweetest thing he's ever tasted and he can't get enough.
And he's happy.
end.