His Own Shadow

[pins_and_wheels]

Title: His Own Shadow - part IV
Author: pins_and_wheels
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Warning: AU, dark, non-con, beta-less
Length: 40k and growing, this part is 6k
Pairing: Kai/Taemin (main), Key/Taemin, one-sided Minho/Taemin, Jinki/Taemin
Summary: Taemin loses a part of himself he doesn't know how to hold on to.

Comments

all of the feelings - part 1

[linnhe]

first off, oh my goooooooooooooood ;_________; when you sent me that message on tumblr saying you were posting something new i rushed the fuck over, and started reading, but had to quit halfway through because of assorted real life stuff, and it drove me a little mad because i imagined you thinking i might not like it that much and THAT COULD NOT BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH OKAY ;A; eugh how do i praise this story enough? okay wait first i'm gonna quote my favourite parts and lose my shit over them;

i liked the intro but felt a little upended by the whole thing, because i had no idea who taemin was or where he was or what was happening, but once i figured out it was a dream sequence i went with the flow of it and tried to look for plot hints - i liked the idea of the Other shoving him over the edge of the building, sort of a "kbye you won't be needed anymore", it felt very final and shocking

He’s hoarse, the same way he always is on the wrong end of one of Kibum’s epic house parties, which tells him he’s been making same noises for

Re: all of the feelings - part 2

[linnhe]

out of the back of his ear
ughhhh your writing

It was during the previous semester at one of Kibum’s uncontainable, sloppy house parties that their relationship had soured - or curdled, more like - when Minho had been drunk and Taemin had found himself backed into a clumsily locked bathroom, fighting like a cat over water to keep various parts of Minho out of various parts of him.
minho why are you so incredibly terrible! ew how about you don't force yourself on people you douchewad

Taemin holds his breath and goes perfectly still, hoping Minho might think he died in that position, with his body turned in toward the class and his head turned unnaturally out toward the window, like a manikin in a display case.
oh man ;-; the part about him hoping minho might think he died sitting like that made me laugh so hard, and then you taught me a different, awesome-looking spelling for mannequin, and bla bla your choice of words let me roll in this ocean of perfect words

on that note, i also really liked these words

• loosey-goosey how cute!

all of the feelings - part 3

[linnhe]

Kibum smiles triumphantly, “Bathroom?”
you are so casual and super cool all the time how do i live without you

“Just,” Taemin stumbles behind him, “in the future, could you maybe not mention mothering me and screwing me in the same breath. Even for us, that’s-”
“You love it. Stop loving it so much.”

end of feelings

[linnhe]

He goes through the motions of preparing his lunch so fluidly - it takes him all of six minutes to complete - Taemin knows it’s the same process he’s practiced hundreds of times before. A fellow creature of habit, then. Taemin understands what it is to be comforted by the familiarity in patterns, how easy it is to live life on repeat - and, more recently, he knows how horrible it feels when the ritual is interrupted.
it's official
i love everyone in this verse - except kai i guess, since all he's done so far is act like a little bitch, scar his "husk" for life and engage in very convincing attempts to kill him

Jinki eats for ten minutes straight (backwards - sweets first) with his eyes trained on his fingers.
OH MAN ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS MOSS FROM THE IT CROWD, WHEN HE'S ALL "would i blow everyone's mind if i ate dessert first"
moss is my favourite *^*

“Shadow. Are you going to eat that?”jinki you're not my favourite but only because kibum is really hard to top but we're still early in the story, you steal other people's food so

[bakagreenirene]

egads an update! hehe how weird is jinki? I love how he just goes up to taemin like they're best mates or something, i laughed so hard at taemin's dumbstruck reaction! And omg things are getting so good with kai and taem! may i add, a POSSESSIVE kai which is like the best kind of kai!!! (lollll) I was furious when kai was like about to say something UBER IMPORTANT and taemin was all *don't want to hear it* and i was like LEE TAEMIN GET YOUR ASS BACK THERE ughhhhh **suspense*** Anyways, as always, I LOVE IT. Pls update soon!!!! And on a sidenote, I just realized that you're the author of "lips don't lie" which is like ahfdlfhaldhf HOT ideky you're all shy about your smut bc i personally feel that its quite brilliant :)

[pins_and_wheels]

thank you for commenting and for enjoying the story!!
yeah, i made jinki a bit lame, i feel kind of bad about it. he's in the next chapter (written, but pending postage because i've recently gone into a tailspin of ohmygod noonehaseverthoughtthoughtsmorestupidthanmine, which is delaying the process) - he's less bumbling as the story progresses :)
i will try to update as soon as possible - hopefully in a few days.
thanks again for the comment! (/lol at my smut.)

[pins_and_wheels]

thank you so much!! i'm glad it's coming out a bit suspenseful - i was concerned every revelation i made in it would just seem dead obvious, so it's really nice to hear my hints are less blatant than they feel.
i will try to update soon. it's very nice of you to say my writing is decent but i'm just the sort of author who has a lot of doubts, so posting is almost a physical effort. but the next part is nearly complete, and i'm trying to come to terms with the fact that i don't think it's particularly well written. once that has happened you shall have your update :)
thank you again!

[pins_and_wheels]

thank you so much! i'm glad to hear the story garnered some sort of reaction - even if it wasn't necessarily a positive one.
"lush" is a very generous word. i'm not sure i'm at lush but i appreciate the compliment :)
i hope you enjoy the other parts - i think they're less grotesque and more just vaguely confusing, but i hope you like them either way. i should update soon, although i'm not ecstatic about how the current chapter is turning out. we'll see.
thank you so much again for the comment!!

[shinierthanthou]

This is so enrapturing. We await with baited breath and had to share it with others (we included it in our weekly recs!)
Great work!

[pins_and_wheels]

oh god - thank you so so much! i'm honored you're recommending my story - i didn't really think people were interested in it at all so it's makes me feel really wonderful you guys think it's decent enough to tell other people about :) i'm a shy author - this feels like a big deal.
thank you again!
now i'm going to go read the other fics you've recommended.