Comments | pins_and_wheels: His Own Shadow

pins_and_wheels

His Own Shadow

Aug 09, 2012 02:31

Title: His Own Shadow - part V
Author: pins_and_wheels
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Warning: AU, dark, non-con, beta-less
Length: 40k and growing, part V is 9k-ish
Pairing: Kai/Taemin (main), Key/Taemin, one-sided Minho/Taemin, Jinki/Taemin
Summary: Taemin loses a part of himself he doesn't know how to hold on to.

( part V )

his own shadow, dear this: i hate you

Comments 11

shineeunicorn August 16 2012, 19:35:15 UTC

Omg~* I'm so happy to read another chapter of this awesome story~
Can't give you feedback :( but let me tell you that I really enjoy your writing!

pins_and_wheels September 8 2012, 12:46:29 UTC

thank you so much for commenting - hearing you're still enjoying the story is feedback enough :) i'm sorry it's taken me a while to respond. i was not pleased at all with this last update, so i've avoided looking at it entirely since it was posted.
but thank you again!

elena0ena August 25 2012, 15:20:55 UTC

woah. i love your ontae smut hehe ( but maybe i need more of it ;;) )
oh.that tokkinhyung's kinda creepy..
i like this story and i really like your writing style :3

pins_and_wheels September 8 2012, 13:27:50 UTC

i'm glad you liked the smut~ it was not easy to get out for whatever reason. i think the lack of real life ontae interactions is bringing me down. there will be more though, or at least there is supposed to be. if it feels as forced as it did in this part, i may have to cut it :/
also glad to hear tokkinhyung has made an impression. the shadows have their own stories, aside from just being animate and volatile. there is an explanation as to why they are the way they are- but so far it hasn't fit in the fic.
thank you for commenting!

shayvanwinkle September 6 2012, 20:17:02 UTC

you. are. so.

how.

i was talking earlier about 'did you get that? slow fucking. there was slow fucking, i need you to get that'

but no one will talk to me about Tokkinhyung D: too creepy or whatever BUT I JUST. THAT HASN'T. NO ONE'S DONE THAT BEFORE. and it was, really intense. and also super, i don't want to make a real life comparison and damage it. but just know. i am blow away. *goes and sobs into cereal confused over life forever* sorry i suck at feedback! uh, i can offer you nothing in return for this awesomeness, but your writing makes me happy. i hope you never stop.

pins_and_wheels September 8 2012, 14:18:01 UTC

i can't emphasize enough how much of a train wreck the smut / majority of this chapter felt like. i've never been more disappointed with a post so hearing you actually like it when i actually like you so so much is like an invitation out from under the shame-rock i'd banished myself to.
that's dramatic. but i was really displeased, i couldn't even edit it properly because it was so hard for me to read over.
ANYWAY, ending this lovely self-flagellation session (sorry, i can't help myself).
thank you so so so much for commenting and being generous and encouraging and restoring my confidence even if you didn't necessarily know that's what you were doing. i feel motivated to write - i've been cold shouldering the story for a while but now i think i can probably pick her up again.
you're too nice. i feel stupid feeling stupid about it but it makes me feel stupid.
<3
(i'm as bad at ending comments as i am at ending emails. forgive me.)

linnhe September 7 2012, 19:07:17 UTC

can i start out with saying i am so very much in love with your characters and story? there isn't a single person or line that i don't like; i like the way they act, talk and treat each other, i like their sense of humor and their jokes, i like everything they aren't even saying. they're real and interesting and likeable even when they're being unlikeable, and you are just such a class act.

there were lines that made me laugh out loud:
“I mean, only you could sissify a murder threat.”

“They’re ironic. Obviously.”

“Why is that happening?”

“Listen, not all of us were born with our collarbones on the outside of our skin.”

“Just a little something to wear tonight.”
“Uh-huh. How little?”

Taemin is almost tempted to tell him if all else fails career-wise, he has his lips and teeth to fall back on.

He nearly mutters a stunned little, “woah,” but doesn’t, thankfully, or else he would’ve had to punch himself in the face.

and lines that were like a punch to the gut:
“We,” a whisper, “We always got the ones with plastic necklaces ( ... )

honeyandclovers September 8 2012, 11:06:13 UTC

I just sat and read all the chapters of this fic, up until this point. I'm actually a little baffled that this hasn't garnered more attention because, honestly it's amazing. The plot-line, characterization and your writing skills are all fantastic. You have such a delicate way of going about things that leave me wanting to see more of Kai's character, it's just the right amount of super creepy and sexy at the same time that it's believable. This is all very realistic, despite the theme being clearly fictional. The only thing I can say as criticism is that you might benefit quite a bit from a beta, there are small typos here and there and the font changes from time to time, like there's something wrong with the coding... Neither of these things are actually a strike at your writing skills, which I have to say again, are flawless and often times borderline poetic. Just a suggestion ( ... )