cynical show time////// let's LJ-cut away the pain
Chris broke up with me, but it's all right, because things between us had lost their luster a while back (though not too far in the past; just far enough). He was much more upset -- angry, rather -- about the whole thing than I was.
He called, & asked if I was planning on calling him. I told him yes, but I was doing homework now, but since I was done we could talk (I was going to call him when I was completely finished). So I asked "What's up?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to tell you that (I think) it's time to break up."
"What?" I asked, in this odd monotonous voice, hoping he'd explain.
"We should quit this charade. We can go back to our lives now." The first thing that popped into my head was Excuse me? My life was NEVER on hold for you; being with you was being WITH you -- not just something I was doing to amuse myself. I wasn't pretending. & then... WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!
"Umm. Okay... I'll, umm... talk to you tomorrow then, I guess, unless you don't want t--"
"No," said Chris, in this very hostile, angry voice. Rather frightening.
"Uh. All right. So, I guess..." I was going to say 'I guess this is good-bye,' but I refused on the basis that saying that is trite & too over-dramatic.
"Yeah. Have fun." Then he hung up, hardly finishing the word "fun".
Our conversation was 1 minute and 08 seconds (my phone records). Okay?
It pisses me off that he didn't have the balls or backbone or respect for me to break up with me to my face. & I wonder what made him want to break up, because we were happy today after 7th period when we were walking to the parking lot where we part. Perhaps someone told him something; perhaps he misinterpreted my reactions to him saying that he was thinking about me a lot today. I don't know.
Someone said that maybe he was making things dramatic for Valentine's Day, & would do somethign special on the 14th. I told him that if Chris did that, I would slap him & tell him to fuck off. I am so tired of his broodiness & mood swings. I've been tired of it for a week or so now; I'm actually glad and relieved that he broke up with me, because I didn't want to have to break up with him... Because I would've done it to his face.
Oh well. Whatever. :o
Time for me to find a new manslut.
(That sounds better than "Manwhore"/"Manwha"... All my friends are using that term -- MY TERM!! -- now anyway.) I'll get a clean-looking one this time, so it won't be so nerve-wracking just thinking about introducing him to my parents. Like Landon. Oh, he's so adorable & so cute & so smart!! He & that Matthew, in my IPC class, are my curent objects of desire. & that one tall guy that I see when I walk home, that I see when I'm waiting for the bell to ring in the Commons.
But Landon is the only one I really know. The other two are just hot. & stoners. So Landon is my choice. But perhaps I should lay off the guys in IPC? ...Nah.
Damn. I love being this "pseudo-whore"... XD
I was dancing with a dirty blonde Texan,
Charming accent, but the music's playing to loud,
For talking,
So I showed him,
How people in the Far East get down.
Push it up,
Push it down,
Pull it up,
Pull it down,
Keep it up,
Keep it down,
now put me down,
What a workout?
If you want you can come, come, get it, get it,
If you don't you may really, regret it, gret it
Up and down till your knees start shaking, shaking,
Aint it good to be alive tonight?
One life, two-times, 3 girls 4 guys,
five ripples runnin' up and down my spine
6.0 - make it sweet,
Drop another dime...
I was talking with a born again Christian,
So what's it like to start life all over?
He said Amen,
I feel like I've been,
Rediscovering the tomb of Tutankhamen.
Push it up,
Push it down,
Pull it up,
Pull it down,
Keep it up,
Keep it down,
Baby don?t put me down,
What a workout?
What you want it's a done deal, shake it, shake it,
What you don't you can forget about it, bout it,
Up and Down, feel your brain waves jumping, jumping,
Makes me wanna take a dive...
Ohhh?
As we count to five?
One life, two dimes, 3 girls, 4 guys,
5 ripples runnin' up and down my spine
Can you hold on?
Someone's calling on the other line...
I'm back!
Push it up,
Push it down,
Pull it up,
Pull it down,
Keep it up,
Keep it down,
now put me down,
What a workout?
If you want you can come, come, get it, get it,
If you don't you may really, regret it, gret it
Up and down till your knees start shaking, shaking,
Aint it good to be alive tonight?
One life, two-times, 3 girls 4 guys,
five ripples runnin' up and down my spine
6.0 - make it sweet,
Drop another dime...
"The Workout" by UTADA Hikaru
[Chorus:]
Every time I think about you
Heaven knows I fall into a groove
You're like a great interlude
Every time I think about your body my body says ooh ooh
Every time I think about you heaven needs a prayer
Cuz you're married and you've even got a family too
Pray that they don't hear you
Now let me see you dance on your tippy toe (Ooh)
What a perfect life they think you've got, right?
Problems kept inside, look neat and organized
What you need in life is some wonder
A new friend with visions like you
Nobody has to know (Synchronize it)
Stay very close to the floor
Nobody has to know (Synchronize it)
Careful when you close the door
Nobody has to know (Synchronize it)
When we tippy toe, tippy toe (Just imagine)
My body under your body
Here we go everybody 3, 2, 1
[Chorus:]
Every time I think about you
Heaven knows I fall into a groove
You're like a great interlude
Every time I think about your body my body says ooh ooh
Every time I think about you heaven needs a prayer
Cuz you're married and you've even got a family too
Pray that they don't hear you
Now let me see you dance on your tippy toe (Ooh)
When the thrill subsides, will you still be mine?
Worry infiltrates my head till I kill it
I fill it instead with improper visions of you
Nobody has to know (Synchronize it)
Stay very close to the floor
Nobody has to know (Synchronize it)
Careful when you close the door
Nobody has to know (Synchronize it)
When we tippy toe, tippy toe (Just imagine)
Nobody has to know, body screaming MORE
On your mark set 3, 2, 1
[Chorus:]
Every time I think about you
Heaven knows I fall into a groove
You're like a great interlude
Every time I think about your body my body says ooh ooh
Every time I think about you heaven needs a prayer
Cuz you're married and you've even got a family too
Pray that they don't hear you
Now let me see you dance on your tippy toe (Ooh)
[Chorus:]
Every time I think about you
Heaven knows I fall into a groove
You're like a great interlude
Every time I think about your body my body says ooh ooh
Every time I think about you heaven needs a prayer
Cuz you're married and you've even got a family too
Pray that they don't hear you
Now let me see you dance on your tippy toe (Ooh)
"Tippy Toe" by UTADA Hikaru
I love the EXODUS cd. <3
[EDIT @ 6:55 PM]I am eating the plastic heart with pink, white, & red M&Ms in it, that I was going to give to Chris for Valentine's Day. It's symbolic. AND SO DELICIOUS.[/EDIT]
He called, & asked if I was planning on calling him. I told him yes, but I was doing homework now, but since I was done we could talk (I was going to call him when I was completely finished). So I asked "What's up?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to tell you that (I think) it's time to break up."
"What?" I asked, in this odd monotonous voice, hoping he'd explain.
"We should quit this charade. We can go back to our lives now." The first thing that popped into my head was Excuse me? My life was NEVER on hold for you; being with you was being WITH you -- not just something I was doing to amuse myself. I wasn't pretending. & then... WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!
"Umm. Okay... I'll, umm... talk to you tomorrow then, I guess, unless you don't want t--"
"No," said Chris, in this very hostile, angry voice. Rather frightening.
"Uh. All right. So, I guess..." I was going to say 'I guess this is good-bye,' but I refused on the basis that saying that is trite & too over-dramatic.
"Yeah. Have fun." Then he hung up, hardly finishing the word "fun".
Our conversation was 1 minute and 08 seconds (my phone records). Okay?
It pisses me off that he didn't have the balls or backbone or respect for me to break up with me to my face. & I wonder what made him want to break up, because we were happy today after 7th period when we were walking to the parking lot where we part. Perhaps someone told him something; perhaps he misinterpreted my reactions to him saying that he was thinking about me a lot today. I don't know.
Someone said that maybe he was making things dramatic for Valentine's Day, & would do somethign special on the 14th. I told him that if Chris did that, I would slap him & tell him to fuck off. I am so tired of his broodiness & mood swings. I've been tired of it for a week or so now; I'm actually glad and relieved that he broke up with me, because I didn't want to have to break up with him... Because I would've done it to his face.
Oh well. Whatever. :o
Time for me to find a new manslut.
(That sounds better than "Manwhore"/"Manwha"... All my friends are using that term -- MY TERM!! -- now anyway.) I'll get a clean-looking one this time, so it won't be so nerve-wracking just thinking about introducing him to my parents. Like Landon. Oh, he's so adorable & so cute & so smart!! He & that Matthew, in my IPC class, are my curent objects of desire. & that one tall guy that I see when I walk home, that I see when I'm waiting for the bell to ring in the Commons.
But Landon is the only one I really know. The other two are just hot. & stoners. So Landon is my choice. But perhaps I should lay off the guys in IPC? ...Nah.
Damn. I love being this "pseudo-whore"... XD
I was dancing with a dirty blonde Texan,
Charming accent, but the music's playing to loud,
For talking,
So I showed him,
How people in the Far East get down.
Push it up,
Push it down,
Pull it up,
Pull it down,
Keep it up,
Keep it down,
now put me down,
What a workout?
If you want you can come, come, get it, get it,
If you don't you may really, regret it, gret it
Up and down till your knees start shaking, shaking,
Aint it good to be alive tonight?
One life, two-times, 3 girls 4 guys,
five ripples runnin' up and down my spine
6.0 - make it sweet,
Drop another dime...
I was talking with a born again Christian,
So what's it like to start life all over?
He said Amen,
I feel like I've been,
Rediscovering the tomb of Tutankhamen.
Push it up,
Push it down,
Pull it up,
Pull it down,
Keep it up,
Keep it down,
Baby don?t put me down,
What a workout?
What you want it's a done deal, shake it, shake it,
What you don't you can forget about it, bout it,
Up and Down, feel your brain waves jumping, jumping,
Makes me wanna take a dive...
Ohhh?
As we count to five?
One life, two dimes, 3 girls, 4 guys,
5 ripples runnin' up and down my spine
Can you hold on?
Someone's calling on the other line...
I'm back!
Push it up,
Push it down,
Pull it up,
Pull it down,
Keep it up,
Keep it down,
now put me down,
What a workout?
If you want you can come, come, get it, get it,
If you don't you may really, regret it, gret it
Up and down till your knees start shaking, shaking,
Aint it good to be alive tonight?
One life, two-times, 3 girls 4 guys,
five ripples runnin' up and down my spine
6.0 - make it sweet,
Drop another dime...
"The Workout" by UTADA Hikaru
[Chorus:]
Every time I think about you
Heaven knows I fall into a groove
You're like a great interlude
Every time I think about your body my body says ooh ooh
Every time I think about you heaven needs a prayer
Cuz you're married and you've even got a family too
Pray that they don't hear you
Now let me see you dance on your tippy toe (Ooh)
What a perfect life they think you've got, right?
Problems kept inside, look neat and organized
What you need in life is some wonder
A new friend with visions like you
Nobody has to know (Synchronize it)
Stay very close to the floor
Nobody has to know (Synchronize it)
Careful when you close the door
Nobody has to know (Synchronize it)
When we tippy toe, tippy toe (Just imagine)
My body under your body
Here we go everybody 3, 2, 1
[Chorus:]
Every time I think about you
Heaven knows I fall into a groove
You're like a great interlude
Every time I think about your body my body says ooh ooh
Every time I think about you heaven needs a prayer
Cuz you're married and you've even got a family too
Pray that they don't hear you
Now let me see you dance on your tippy toe (Ooh)
When the thrill subsides, will you still be mine?
Worry infiltrates my head till I kill it
I fill it instead with improper visions of you
Nobody has to know (Synchronize it)
Stay very close to the floor
Nobody has to know (Synchronize it)
Careful when you close the door
Nobody has to know (Synchronize it)
When we tippy toe, tippy toe (Just imagine)
Nobody has to know, body screaming MORE
On your mark set 3, 2, 1
[Chorus:]
Every time I think about you
Heaven knows I fall into a groove
You're like a great interlude
Every time I think about your body my body says ooh ooh
Every time I think about you heaven needs a prayer
Cuz you're married and you've even got a family too
Pray that they don't hear you
Now let me see you dance on your tippy toe (Ooh)
[Chorus:]
Every time I think about you
Heaven knows I fall into a groove
You're like a great interlude
Every time I think about your body my body says ooh ooh
Every time I think about you heaven needs a prayer
Cuz you're married and you've even got a family too
Pray that they don't hear you
Now let me see you dance on your tippy toe (Ooh)
"Tippy Toe" by UTADA Hikaru
I love the EXODUS cd. <3
[EDIT @ 6:55 PM]I am eating the plastic heart with pink, white, & red M&Ms in it, that I was going to give to Chris for Valentine's Day. It's symbolic. AND SO DELICIOUS.[/EDIT]