SHUT UP!  SHUT UP!  YOU NEVER SHUT UP!  AND YOU NEVER SAY ANYTHING THAT MAKES A LICK OF FUCKING SENSE.

Working with you is like working with a retarded chipmunk on bennies.  GOD.

This morning had one of the most beautiful sunrises I have ever seen.  I had to deliberately concentrate on my driving and not stare at it.  And then, the weird light made all the yellow and red of the trees glow really strangely.

Nature has a wonderful sense of aesthetics.  I don't trust her worth a damn, because she's kicked my ass before, but ( Read more... )

I did Nano last year and ended up with a 45,000 word horribly written mess.  It was entertaining, but it drove home the idea that I am not, in fact, a writer.  I get bored with it.  I'm not miserable if I don't do it, and writing is something you should only do if you can't help it.  It was quite liberating.  Besides, I can't come up with a decent ( Read more... )

I am throwing pieces of candy corn into other cubes.  So far, people have thrown back several paper wads, a mint patty, a gnome, an inflatable penguin and two miniature Reese's cups.

What a week already!  We've got a Bad Repub trying to cruise underagers, peoples shooting up young girls, and a batch of bad data from one of my vendors.

And as I was pondering all this, I thought of G.G. Allin.

G.G. Allin put the "up" in "fucked up" because nobody, ever, was as fucked up as G.G. Allin was.

I went to a couple of his shows back in ( Read more... )

Somewhere, probably in upstate New York, there is a woman who has 14 cats and one of every kind of Yankee Candle scent, and an entire attic full of old L'eggs eggs, from the time when the hosiery really did come in big plastic eggs, and sometimes she takes out the light blue "Control Top" one or her very special high-gloss gold one from some 1986 ( Read more... )

That sound?  Is me, looming.  I wore extra-high, extra-chunky heels today, and I can easily see over all the cube walls.  Looming rocks!

Also, I found at T.J. Maxx's the other day, a zip-up, ribbed sweater in sage green.  I am wearing it now, and it is one of those purchases that I sort of bought because I thought it would come in handy, and now I ( Read more... )

I just wrote an email to a co-worker that contained only  this:

"Like hamsters in a Habitrail full of crack, these are the databases of our lives."

I am making no sense.  Databases wouldn't appreciate crack.

I finished the spec, and it was a thing of beauty, and we were ready to do the build and then the vendor gives us the backfiles that they finally legally wrenched away from some other vendor and I do a data analysis and lo, there are 125 new fields, most of them MADE THE FUCK UP by wretched, crackhead faux-catalogers. If I ever meet one of you, I ( Read more... )

I'm bored, and staring out my window because the train just stopped, and the women getting off the train are all wearing billowy skirts of an unfortunate pattern. Is it Unfortunate Pattern Skirt Day? Nobody told ME, dammit. I'm much more suited for Unfortunate Hair Day, or perhaps Unfortunate Bra Day, since one of my underwires is getting frisky ( Read more... )