Very good post - especially if it is a first installment. Now, let me express some thoughts. I agree that certain "jerkiness" and emotionality are needed and desired by women. But how does one express "jerkiness" if he is not a jerk? I am very bad in pretending being anything different to what I really am - I feel false and others feel it as well. Also, all those rare cases when I did woe girl into bed by lies/manipulations I felt so horrible afterwards that realized that it is not worth it. My own brand is being "nice smart emotional guy". And if this brand is not desired at US market - I simply have to refocus or rebrand. But as marketing 101 tells us, rebranding may kill the produce (New Coke anyone?).
It kind of reminds me conversation with my father who tells me that I have to buy BMW if I want to pick up "quality women" (and I drive 6yo Hyundai). But what if I I think that BMW is a Brutal Money Waste and Hyumdai drives perfectly well? By lies I meant pretending to like BMWs/Rolexes - when in reality I don't care.
No. My reasoning is totally different from your father's. In fact, it is just the opposite.
Buying a BMW alone will NOT help you to pick up quality women, it rather might make you a target of some Ho who will try to use you as her provider. YOU should be the prize, not your car!
Of course, there is nothing wrong with driving BMW either - if is congruent with your overall image. (And that image should not be the one of a schmuck who slaves in the office just to keep with payments on the car he can't afford!)
Nothing wrong with driving Hyundai either. It is also OK to not have a car at all and bike or to walk - as long as you are unapologetic for it. It is really your personality that makes you the prize in her eyes - your ability to make her feel intense emotions.
Now about attracting men: as you probably understand I was personally a lot more interested in learning how to attract women, but seems it is very easy to attract the "nice ones", as you put it..;)
You have to be very clear about what your real goals are, what are you looking for, though...
Maybe you could address why the Nice Guy I was dating turned into a Jerk the second I started being nicer to him. As long as I was uninterested in the relationship, he was in love with me. The second I became interested, he started playing games with my head (and my heart). It's as if he enjoyed being misused.
Basically, the better I treated him, the worse he treated me. And the worse I treated him, the better he treated me. I really don't want to have to be evil in order to keep a man's attention...it's just not that fun.
wow! I liked the text, and there's pretty much truth in it. Though it's only about getting a woman intrested, but not about keeping her interested - which is much harder
well, it'll be probably a fun thing to write and read. But any strategy on "keeping woman attracted" with such a level of generality might be useless, since it depends on personalities and situations too much.
By the way, are slavic languages allowed and understood in this blog? )
"any strategy on "keeping woman attracted" with such a level of generality might be useless, since it depends on personalities and situations too much."
Not necessarily. General strategies or a concept are intended to act as catalysts, to get people to start thinking about their own situations.
Of course, any chosen strategy will need to be carefully calibrated to personalities and situations, and many people will fail right there.
Personally, I find conceptual thinking to be very useful for me, maybe because I am an NT-type (in Briggs-Myers classification). What type are you?
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Now, let me express some thoughts.
I agree that certain "jerkiness" and emotionality are needed and desired by women.
But how does one express "jerkiness" if he is not a jerk? I am very bad in pretending being anything different to what I really am - I feel false and others feel it as well. Also, all those rare cases when I did woe girl into bed by lies/manipulations I felt so horrible afterwards that realized that it is not worth it. My own brand is being "nice smart emotional guy". And if this brand is not desired at US market - I simply have to refocus or rebrand. But as marketing 101 tells us, rebranding may kill the produce (New Coke anyone?).
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By lies I meant pretending to like BMWs/Rolexes - when in reality I don't care.
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Buying a BMW alone will NOT help you to pick up quality women, it rather might make you a target of some Ho who will try to use you as her provider. YOU should be the prize, not your car!
Of course, there is nothing wrong with driving BMW either - if is congruent with your overall image. (And that image should not be the one of a schmuck who slaves in the office just to keep with payments on the car he can't afford!)
Nothing wrong with driving Hyundai either. It is also OK to not have a car at all and bike or to walk - as long as you are unapologetic for it. It is really your personality that makes you the prize in her eyes - your ability to make her feel intense emotions.
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Does it tell us women how to attract men? (Nice ones.)
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http://piterburg.livejournal.com/2569.html
and in comments to it.
Now about attracting men: as you probably understand I was personally a lot more interested in learning how to attract women, but seems it is very easy to attract
the "nice ones", as you put it..;)
You have to be very clear about what your real goals are, what are you looking for, though...
That might be somewhat relevant:
http://piterburg.livejournal.com/530.html
Let me know what you think of it.
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Maybe you could address why the Nice Guy I was dating turned into a Jerk the second I started being nicer to him. As long as I was uninterested in the relationship, he was in love with me. The second I became interested, he started playing games with my head (and my heart). It's as if he enjoyed being misused.
Basically, the better I treated him, the worse he treated me. And the worse I treated him, the better he treated me. I really don't want to have to be evil in order to keep a man's attention...it's just not that fun.
Reply
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By the way, are slavic languages allowed and understood in this blog? )
Reply
Not necessarily. General strategies or a concept are intended to act as catalysts, to get people to start thinking about their own situations.
Of course, any chosen strategy will need to be carefully calibrated to personalities and situations, and many people will fail right there.
Personally, I find conceptual thinking to be very useful for me, maybe because I am an NT-type (in Briggs-Myers classification). What type are you?
Reply
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