Fic: Life Changed on a Shuttle. (4/?)
Title: Life Changed on a Shuttle (4/?)
Author's Name: pixelmayhem
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Rating: PG-13
Chapter Summary: The conversation and classes are set to begin the next day.
Warnings: AU, Language, Small heartbreak?
Word count: 3,165
Disclaimer: I don’t own them. I just like to see them all bendy. I promise to return them.
Series Summary: McCoy boards the shuttle with Joanna and they start a not so nuclear family as Jim talks to her while her dad freaks out.
A/N: First days are DONE! Classes start after this and hopefully things pick up. I feel I should point out as ceres_libera says in her wonderful series. From now on it’ll be a slow burn.
You guys are awesome! I love hearing from each of you. This is the first long-plotty story I’ve tried posting so I wasn’t sure I could do the concept justice. Thanks for your words and support! I get excited when you guys get excited by the story.
I tried something different this time, waiting to respond til I had posted the next part that way it might give you a heads up as to when it was posted. If you like this policy let me know and I’ll keep it up.
As always. Un-beta’d feel free to notify me of problems.
Previous Parts: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3| Part 5
All of a sudden that adult conversation doesn’t seem like such a good idea. Bones is interesting, more than interesting, Jim’s determined to get to know the man better, and he’s got a great kid but there are some things Jim’s not prepared to discuss. Being here has obviously fucked with his mental well-being. God! He’s can’t believe he just said that. He hasn’t even thought about her in ages. Trained himself not to.
He can feel Bones’ eyes trying to search his face. The silence has stretched on while Jim’s having his mental freak out and the doctor obviously decides that subject is a dead end for now.
“So you’re pretty familiar with this place huh?”
Jim’s relaxed state has passed out of existence. “Spent my fair share of time here over the years, yeah.” He’s wary, his muscles look lax but are ready from years of conditioning. That fight or flight instinct calling to him.
Bones gives him a sideways glance. “That’s how you found it so easily. Asshole.”
Jim snorts. He figures he might as well get this part of it over with. It’s easier to deal with the fallout when they’re looking for another face.
“James T. Kirk. Nice to meet you.”
“You introduced yourself already kid. But knowing you’re the son of George Kirk, federation hero doesn’t tell me anything about you.”
Jim gives a short bark of laughter. “You don’t think so?”
“Seems to me you’ve got a story to tell.”
“Doesn’t everyone? You planning on baring your soul too? A shared burden is a burden halved?” He says with as much disbelief as he can muster.
There’s a lull as that thought hangs in the air.
“Fair enough.”
Bones stares hard at him. He presses his lips into a straight line for a minute. Jim doesn’t like the look in his eyes.
“James T. Kirk. Must have been difficult growing up with a dead father and the word hero on everyone’s lips.”
Jim gave a bitter smile, broken on the edges. But he’s not afraid to give as good as he gets. “Everything but your bones you said on the shuttle. And you looked like you were barely two steps out of the bottle.”
He flattens his expression to stare pointedly at Bones. “Joanna was saying her mother kept her at work with her during shifts. The ER isn’t exactly the best place to raise a little girl Leonard. Even with you being some super surgeon, the both of you should have been able to work out some sort of system. So why wasn’t she already in daycare? You said you thought you'd only get to see her grow up in pictures. So exactly how long had it been since you had even seen your daughter?”
Bones grimaces. “You don’t pull any punches. Do you kid? Fuck.”
“Yeah well I learned its safer not to. Besides you started it, bastard.” He doesn’t care if he seems childish.
They let the silence stretch.
“I hadn’t seen Joanna in over a year. In person. I got to talk to her in video coms occasionally. Jocelyn, my ex, was determined to win. Determined to pay me back with as much damage as she could. Which meant keeping Jo as far away and as detached from me as possible.”
“Not an easy divorce then, huh”
He gave a harsh laugh. “Hell no. We were determined to destroy each other. She thought if she placed Jo in daycare I would have leverage to get more custody over her.”
“Wouldn’t a judge find exposure to trauma situations detrimental? More so than whatever they had on you?” He was given a startled look. “Judges don’t award sole custody, or even limited custody without a reason.”
Bones nodded solemnly. “A normal judge might have, but it was her hometown; the judge an old family friend, and add to that a hell of an excuse to find fault with me. I couldn’t prove the exposure. I didn’t even really know much about the situation other than the fact that somehow Jocelyn was able to keep Jo with her all day which looked good compared to what I had to offer.”
“What made her change her mind? How do you know she’s not going to change it again? If she just dropped her off without aplomb then I doubt she had the foresight to bring the means with her to transfer custody. Shit, she could bring you up on kidnapping charges!”
Rather than looking worried or answering Jim’s questions, Bones looked contemplative, focused, like he had an answer to something he had been working on. It made Jim tense in anticipation.
“You seem very familiar with the way things work in this situation.”
A chill ran down Jim’s spine even as he tried to deflect “Which, registering for academy?”
“And how the system works for child care, custody hearings, judges, and legalities.”
Jim knows he’s going to have to give something now. “Mom was in Starfleet.”
Bones snorts and gives a scathing look. “I think everyone knows that one kid.”
Jim continues as if Bones hasn’t said anything. “After…my birth. She hung around the academy for a while, getting things in order. It was only as long as she took to get everything arranged so that we would stay here in Starfleet care, on academy grounds while she went on assignment.”
He looked up at the ceiling focusing on the lights and their glare rather than the body listening next to him.
“They all assumed that she wanted short assignments at first. That her duty to Starfleet kept her in service but that she’d want to get enough time on Terra to be with us. It wasn’t too long before they realized that she didn’t want to have to deal with us.”
“Us?”
“Sam and I.” He said as if that explained it all. “I was just a baby of course. Had to hear it all second hand. Didn’t really understand the reason for the absences until I was older. Didn’t understand what it meant.”
“Starfleet personnel can have immediate family with them on assignment. Or be assigned nearby.” Bones said softly
Jim gave a small nod. “So we stayed here. At first she’d be back every couple of weeks but as she finally convinced others the time between visits became a month, then two, then several.”
Bones seemed to be taking it all in. Categorizing it maybe. Jim didn’t really care as long as it stopped the conversation. This soul bearing crap was draining. He really hoped this was the end of it for today.
Apparently that was a feeble hope because Bones asked “You said your mother’s third marriage, that implies a first two. I’m assuming the first was your father. And the second?”
Jim closed his eyes.
He wouldn’t answer that now. He couldn’t answer that now. And as it turned out he didn’t have to because Joanna chose that moment to come barreling back out.
“Dad! Jim!” This time she didn’t grab their legs but stopped right before them, beaming.
“Having fun Jo-monster?” Jim smiled down at her. It was weak but she accepted it readily enough.
She nodded. “I met Victor! He said I could call him Tory! And Lena she’s a betazoid! She said I had good ema-na-tions!” She sounded out the word. “She said it means I feel good! Tory’s smart like I am! He showed me how to hack into the library to get the advanced books!”
Jim actually felt Bones eyes travelling back and forth between him and his daughter. He strove to keep his expression friendly, normal. It wasn’t hard. His relief was palpable.
Jim nudged Jo in the shoulder. “So I take it that you don’t think that going here will be so bad then?”
She sticks her tongue out at him then smiles again. “Lena’s an orphan in Starfleet custody so she’s always here and Tory’s parents are both doctor’s too!”
Bones also gives her a weak but fond smile. “Making friends already huh Jo-Jo? Sounds like you’ll have fun after all. Let’s get out of here and grab some lunch then.”
“I have to say goodbye!” She whined
“Well git to it then!” He said leaning down and giving her a light swat.
As she ran off they were left staring at each other for a moment again.
“Why us?” Bones asked softly.
Jim’s mind flashes back to a moment on the shuttle. Of soft eyes and a voice that says ‘Everything not a part of me.’ and simply says "Family is supposed to be important."
Bones eyes search his face. Jim’s starting to think that soon Bones will know his face better than Jim does. It’s a hard look to interpret and Jim’s not feeling up to it so he simply scoops up Joanna when she runs back out and moves towards the exit.
“Come on! This took longer than I thought and I’m hungry. After lunch you can come with me on my errands. Misery loves company right?”
Jim can hear Bones following beside him, replying softly. “Right. Misery loves company.”
---------------------------
Jim was kind of surprised how not awkward lunch was. Jo was of course a fun distraction, but Bones seemed to have decided they had talked enough and they went back to the banter that they were quickly making an art.
After lunch the three of them headed to the administration offices where Jim proceeded to sign up to test out of as many classes as possible. He was able to take some of the tests immediately and he went through them so fast he could tell that the officers who’d administered them would have liked to charge him with cheating, except for the fact that they’d watched him with eagle eyes the whole time. The results were processed almost immediately since it was all computerized and soon Jim had a whole new set of classes to work through.
The only class he couldn’t immediately pass out of was hand-to-hand. So he set up a request to discuss adjusting his standing with the professor in charge when he had the introductory class the next day.
Bones had a few errands he needed to take care of as well so they took turns entertaining Joanna. When it was Jim’s turn he spent some time showing her around the building, which included taking her to his favorite spot on campus.
It technically wasn’t in the building but Jim wasn’t concerned with technicalities.
There was a little park area hidden in an out of the way corner behind one of the far offices. It was rarely used and housed a pond and small playground.
He walked Joanna out and went to sit down by the edge of the pond.
“So Jo, this is, was my favorite place on campus. If you want you can go play on the playset. I can tell you from experience that the monkey bars are highly recommended.”
She looked at him and then over to the playset. He could see her thinking. She actually pulled her lower lip into her mouth for a moment. Then she walked over to him and crawled in his lap.
She sat so she could look across the pond with him saying “That’s ok. I’d rather stay with you.” And then she leaned back against his chest.
He could feel her hair brushing his chin and her breaths matching the rise and fall of his own. Something in his chest clenched.
They sat there quietly for a few minutes.
“Jim?” She asked softly
“Hmm?”
“You really think I’ll like daycare?” She turned her head to bury her nose in his neck, muffling her words.
“I think you’ll be surprised how much you like it and how fast the day goes.”
She looked up at him. “Yeah but did you like it when you were there?”
Jim wasn’t surprised by her insight. He took a moment to think about his answer staring down into her eyes and saying truthfully. “Well, no and yes. When I was there I had to stay there all the time.”
“Like Lena?”
Jim nodded. “I had to watch all my friends leave everyday with their parents. When break came around it was always a handful of us left all alone. My brother and I used to act out a lot just for something new to do. It’s one of the reasons I know this place a lot. I used to sneak out to explore. But I enjoyed classes and learning. I used to read a lot once I’d learned how.”
Jo sat still for a moment thinking over what he said. “Where were your parents?”
Jim was silent and after a couple of heartbeats she asked “Were…were they divorced too?”
Jim didn’t know how to answer her. What could he say? No my mom just didn’t like me a lot?
She hugged him unexpectedly. “I’m sorry.”
He hugged her back a lump in his throat. “My parents weren’t divorced. My dad died when I was born to save me. Me and a lot of other people, including my mother. Afterwards she, well she took it hard.”
It shouldn’t have been enough to satisfy her but all she said was “I’m sorry” again and then she laid back to their original position.
He set his chin on her head. “Yeah me too.” And they went back to gazing out across the pond.
They sat there in silence and after a while Jim felt her breathing deepen as she slipped off into sleep.
Bones found them a little while later. Jim heard the door to the building open and someone stomp across the grass.
“Damn it Jim! Do you know how long it took me to find you?” He started ranting as he walked to reach them. Joanna stirred.
He stopped yelling as soon as he saw she was sleeping, making a disgruntled face. He dropped down on the grass to sit beside them.
The three of sat there in the shade, two of them watching the water ripple with the ducks swimming and the third sleeping peacefully.
----------------------------
Joanna woke after the ducks got into a fight. Jim couldn’t blame her, the flapping and squawking wasn’t really sleep conducive. She climbed off his lap and rubbed her eyes while Jim and Bones stood and brushed grass off themselves. Having finished their main errands they decided to walk around the campus and search out the buildings where they would be having classes the next day. It was quiet and peaceful and they chatted amicably explaining what classes were in what buildings and what the purpose of those classes were to Joanna.
As the sun sunk lower across the horizon they decided to head back to Bones’ for dinner. It wasn’t anything fancy. Bones ordered up some chicken fried steak on the replicator.
Joanna insisted on cutting up her food herself.
After they’d finished and had put their waste into the recyclers it was announced to be Joanna’s bedtime. She insisted on a bedtime story from Jim.
Bones noticed that Jim seemed a bit reluctant and tried to get him out of it.
“Joanna maybe he doesn’t want to read you a bedtime story. I’m sure he has things he needs to get done before tomorrow.”
Joanna wasn’t having any part of excuses. “He doesn’t. He would have said something. We did all our errands today, together. He said so.”
Jim found himself wilting under those bright eyes, but his comfort level demanded he try again. “Jo I don’t think textbooks are the best bedtime material.”
She squinted at him shrewdly. “You asked daddy if he couldn’t recite a story from memory. That means you can, so you can tell me one of those.”
Jim couldn’t help but chuckle at her reasoning. She really was too smart for her own good. Steeling himself he conceded. “Alright Jo. Have your dad help you get ready and I’ll think of a good one for you.”
“Kay!” She squealed happy to have won. She grabbed her dad’s hand and dragged him down the hall, skipping as she went to take a bath and get ready.
Jim sat down in her room in the chair next to her bed. Thinking. He was startled when she bounded into the room and his lap. Wet and radiating warmth. She hugged him then leapt off and hopped onto the bed wiggling under the covers.
“Ready!” She said.
Instead of answering her, he began.
“Morning and evening
Maids heard the goblins cry:
"Come buy our orchard fruits,
Come buy, come buy:”
As he lost himself in the story the world faded away from around him. His voice raised and lowered over the prose as he weaved the world around two sisters. He spoke of lush fruit, strong love, and floridly described a sacrifice of strength.
Jim Kirk was a consummate storyteller, alive and true to the nature of the craft, he was lost in another world until the finish. His voice faded softly. He woke slowly from the story as it wound down. The last lines slipping from his tongue to fill the room.
”For there is no friend like a sister,
In calm or stormy weather,
To cheer one on the tedious way,
To fetch one if one goes astray,
To lift one if one totters down,
To strengthen whilst one stands.”
“The end”
Jo’s voice was slurry from fighting off sleep when she spoke. “’s‘was nice. Wha’s it called?”
Jim’s voice was hushed in his reply. “It’s called Goblin Market. Now go to sleep.” Without thinking he leaned forward and brushed his lips across her forehead. He had to stop himself from jumping backwards. His heart was pounding and skittering painfully. Old habits it seems, die hard.
Joanna hadn’t noticed his turmoil. “Night Jim.”
“G’night Jo.” His voice was hoarse.
Standing up to leave her bedroom he noticed Bones in the door watching him. As the door slipped shut behind them there was another moment of the silence that had been following them all day. Not all-comfortable but growing.
Bones spoke finally. “Take your jacket kid, it’s cold out. You don’t have to leave it anymore. I’m sure we’ll be seeing you around regularly. After all…family’s important.”
Jim’s head snapped up and Bones eyes caught his with a kind smile. Jim returned it.
Walking towards the door Jim shrugged into the soft leather. “Thanks for dinner, Bones.”
Bones was nonchalant. “Everyone’s gotta eat. Might as well be with us right?”
“Still, thanks.”
Bones walked Jim to the door. Jim’s smile slipped off his face as he turned to look at Bones. “Her name was Evelyn…Evee. She was Evee.” Not alluding to who he was talking about.
Then he slipped past the solemn moment, smiling at Bones again as if he’d said nothing significant.
“By the way I switched a few of my classes around. I’ll see you tomorrow in medicinal xenobotany and you know, other stuff!”
He was laughing as he watched the door slip closed over Bones surprised and angrily amused face.
[Goblin Market by Christina Rosetti]
Part 3 | Part 5