Found this on a random ffers bio.
That guy you just called a Mudblood? He spends hours practicing spells everyday so people will like him. That girl you just stupified? Her parents use the Cruciatus Curse on her reguarly. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother was killed by death eaters. Make this status if you are against bullying in the Wizarding World. You never know what its like until you fly a mile on their broom.
Yep. Kay. Yess. I will. Mhm. I know. I won't. Yeah. Yup. Sure. Yeah. Ok. BYE MOM.
On the computer doing homework* You always have Twitter, facebook, & Google opened.
''Benkinersophobia''
The fear of not receiving a letter from Howgwarts on your 11th birthday.
Now Made With REAL Cheese!
Well, wtf was it made with before?!
Even when I have nothing to do, I still don't do my homework
Lying on your back texting and dropping your phone on your face
"I'm a wizard!" "Prove it." "Sorry, no magic outside Hogwarts."
The real danger of chewing gum at school isn't being caught by your teachers, its being caught by your friends...
I've Always Wanted to Spin Round in a Chair & Say "I've Been Expecting You''
That one 'mood' when suddenly everything is funny and you can't stop laughing
Everybody wants happiness nobody wants pain. But you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.
Pulling up your blanket & accidentally punching yourself in the face.
My mouth automatically says "damn" when something wrong happens.
"Dude I have something really funny to tell you!" *Adult walks into room* "..Hold on I'll tell you in a minute."
Kid: Can I goto the bathroom?
Teacher: Say your ABCs first
Kid: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ
Teacher: Wheres the P?
Kid: Its runnin down my leg
When your parents call you by your full name, you know you're dead meat
If aliens ever land on earth and demand to see our leader, Our best chance of survival is to bring them to Lady Gaga.
"Dude, I wasn't that drunk..." ... "You cut all my pineapples and kept yelling, SPONGEBOB I KNOW YOUR IN THERE!"
YouTube: "This video is not available in your country." Where the hell am I from? Narnia?
Checking the fridge every ten minutes to see if any food magically appeared.
Facebook is like jail
You sit around and waste time.
Write on walls
And get poked by people you don't know.
Dear Edward Cullen, So you stay young forever and sneak into the rooms of young girls? How original. Sincerely, Peter Pan
Google Turned 12 this year This means we only have one more year to use it Before it turns into a teenager and wont answer anything
First thing a girl says when it rains? MY HAIR.
You were Given this life, Because you are Strong enough to live it!
H.A.T.E.R.S = Having Anger Toward Everyone Reaching Success
Dear tongue, can't touch this
Love, Elbow
Probably Voldermort's face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
Dora: "What was your favourite part of the day?" *Children stare blankly at the screen.* Dora: "I liked that too!"
Reading someone's status and thinking 'oh shut the hell up'
admit it
at one point in your life
you have tried to balance the light switch between on and off position.
"Aaacchhooo!" "Bless you" "Aaaaaacchhoooooo!" "Bless you!" "Aaaaaaaaacchhooooooooo!" "Dude, what the hell?!"
And who else
Tries Accomplishing Things
before
The microwave reaches 0:00?
Nemo Quote; Dory- I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine. And he shall be my Squishy.
Elevator door doesn't open immediately. Sudden reaction; "TRAPPED FOREVER."
Dear 4th graders on facebook,
How are you in a complicated relationship? What’d he do, steal your animal crackers?
Yes it's friday. No, you do not have to start singing Rebecca Black.
The awkward moment when you get out of the shower and suddenly the house is empty...
The awkward moment when you accidentally type a wink instead of a smiley and make whatever you just said sound seductive...
When I was your age, we had theAmanda Show. Not iCarly...
Remembers back when Blackberry's and Apple's were still just fruit...
The word lie sits right in the middle of the word Believe
That scary moment when you're about to sleep and horror scenes flash in your head D:
I hate it when skinny people call themselves fat...
That awkward moment when your talking and your gum falls out of your mouth.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
Life is short, so smile while you have teeth
Have you ever wanted to meet yourself and see yourself at a different point of view?
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's learning to dance in the rain.
I wish you could Google anything.You could search like,"Where is my cell phone?" & it would be like, "Its under the couch dumb ass"
8 year olds today have facebooks, twitter, phones, ipods. When i was their age, I had a coloring book, crayons, chalk, and imagination...
I love those moments where you just smile and think, "I love life."
Dear Algebra, I'm a bit worried about your obsession with your 'EX'. Sorry but they're just not that into you so do us the favor & move on!
A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
If you listen too much to what people say about you, you will never be who you really are.
Money is made out of paper, paper is made out of wood, wood is made out of trees... therefore, money does grow on trees!
Don't worry about the people in your past; There's a reason they didn't make it to your future.
I think there's a smudge on.̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨.̸̸̨̨your screen.
Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears
That horrifying moment when your mom says... "I need to talk to you." And u think of everything you did wrong this week.
I miss the days when you could simply push somebody in the pool but now you have to worry about their phone!...
So I saw a butterfly with no wings today. I poured some Red Bull and BAM!...It drowned...
When I grow up, I want a son first, then a daughter; So my son would beat up any boy that makes my little girl cry.
There's a million fish in the sea, infinity stars in the sky, six billion people in this world, but there's only one nemo, one sun & one you.
Best friends...You fight, I fight. You hurt, I hurt. You cry, I cry. You jump off a bridge; I get in a paddleboat and save your stupid tail.
Spelling M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I was a big thing when we were little.
Dora: what part did you like? Me: :D Oh! I liked the part where...- Dora: I liked that part too. Me: Bitch I wasn't done!
That awkward moment when Dora finds out about Google Maps
Dear room,
I only cleaned you because I had homework.
Sincerely, procrastinator.
Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K = Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge
I wonder how many Dads name their boy's Luke just so they can tell him, "Luke, I am your father."
I believe the word 'studying' was derived from the words 'students dying'...
Everyone says don't say 'hate' because it's a strong word; why does nobody say that when someone says 'love' without reason?
when ppl in movies cry they look beautiful.When ppl cry in real life,ur face gets red,ur eyes get puffy,& then theres the whole snot thing
Dear sock,Please leave 1 million dollars behind the sink if you ever want to see your twin again. Sincerely, the washing machine
Rumors- As fake as the people who made them up
Wake up in the morning feelin like P. Diddy. "No, actually I feel like going back to sleep." :P
SMASH!* Mom: what was that? Me: uhh, nothingggg...
When I Was Younger,
Hannah Montana Was That's So Raven,
I-Carly Was Drake & Josh,
Justin Bieber Was Jesse Mccartney,
Lady Gaga Was Britney Spears,
Wizards Of Waverly Place Was Phill Of The Future,
And Spongebob... Is STILL Spongebob
Justin Bieber walks by*
Elementary school: OMG JUSTIN BIEBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Middle school: Oooooh, a famous person!
High school: OMFG, WHERE'S MY SHOTGUN?!
Dear life, Can we go back to when boys had cooties, HW was 2+2, & the drama was over who stole my crayons? Sincerely, over-stressed teenagers.
Elementary School: I cant wait to go to middle school! Middle School: I cant wait to go to high school! HS: Send me back to kindergarten...
crossing the road* Age 5 : Holding mommy's hand. Age 10: Stop, Look, Listen. Age 13: FUCKINGG RRRUUUUNNN!!!
A paper cut is the paper's way of saying,"If I was still a tree, I would give you a damn splinter,but this is the best I can do"
the awkward moment when you're at someone's house and you HATE the food for dinner...
Lιfє ιѕ ѕнσят, вreaĸ тнe rυleѕ, ғorgιve qυιcĸly, ĸιѕѕ ѕlowly, love тrυly, laυgн υnconтrollaвly, and never ғorgeт anyтнιng тнaт мade υ ѕмιle
No, you are NOT what you eat. Otherwise we'd become SMARTER when we eat SMARTIES...
Like this if you remember on nickelodeon shows like; The Wild Thornberries, Double Dare 2000, Legends of the Hidden Temple, All That, etc.!
Mom: You ready to go? Me: Yeah.. Mom: Alright, let's go. Me: WAIT! I HAVE TO GET MY SHOES ON!!
That super awkward moment of silence in class... and then some stupid kid yells out "WHY'D IT GET SO QUIET" then every one starts talking...
Oh PLEASE. We all know those celebrities don't get flawless skin from Neutrogena or Proactive. It's called a shitload amount of makeup and airbrushing
THE AWKWARD MOMENT
When you realize that if Taylor Swift & Taylor Lautner got married, they'd both be Taylor Lautner...
People say "thank God" all the time, but if a giant voice suddenly said"YOU'RE WELCOME" back, you know it would scare the sh*t out of u O_O
Pretending to die in front of your pet, just to see how they would react
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. - (F)ight for you. (R)espect you. (I)nvolve you. (E)ncourage you. (N)eed you. (D)eserve you and (S)tand by you.
Spongebob: ''Aww cheer up Squidward, it could be worse!'' Patrick: ''Yeah you could be bald and have a big nose!''
Someday I want to meet Taylor Lautner in front of a bunch of screaming >>twilight
GO TO GOOGLE. TYPE IN "WHOS CUTER?" THEN CLICK THE FIRST RESULT. like this if it made you Smile.
"Mario, he's all like"hello, im Mario, Im an Italian plumber created by Japanese ppl, who speaks English and looks Mexican""
I'm the kind of person that can set the kitchen on fire by making a bowl of cereal
How awesome would be playing >>hide-n-go seek
in your whole school
Today we drove past a Home Depot. The M light was out ... Akward?
All my life, I've been good, but now, oh whoa whoa, I'm thinking what the hell?
Test Says...
"Blah Blah Blah Blah yes or no?..."
"HA! Easy!"...
"Explain."
"...shit."
Haha this shit's not scary... Oh wait, based on a true story??
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I would never be bored again
that awkward moment when you walk into a movie late & it feels like everyone is staring at you...
Dear "I only gave you an hour of homework",
Yeah, you and the other six teachers I have everyday.
Sincerely, sleep deprive
if I sleep too much, my parents complain
If I don’t get enough sleep, my parents complain.
if I eat too much, my parents complain.
If I don’t eat enough, my parents complain.
If I’m always in my room, my parents complain.
If I go out too much, my parents complain...
I Cant Win.
If my parents had some sort of crystal ball that let them watch over me,over the course of one day at school... Id be screwed...
I love it when like 5th graders Have the new ipod and a cell phone and they think their the shit. it's like No; you're supposed to have A freaking Jump Rope You Little bastards.
In our generation we have ...
created animal shaped rubberbands.
whipped our hair back & forth, as a dance.
popped lenses out of 3D glasses, and wore them, thinking we looked cool.
had bracelets expressing our love for "boobies."
had more teen pregnancies than any other generation before us.
& found an easy way to stalk people (facebook.)
How lovely..
I got bored and googled weird holidays; Apparently January 31st is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day. I now have a new favorite holiday
Before I die, I want to hold a party with fake alcohol, and see how many people act wasted.
You know shit's gonna go down when the quiet kid curses
"I LOVE Eminem!" "I like skittles better..." "No, the rapper, idiot..." "Your the idiot, what's so good about M&M wrappers?!"
We have all gone through that Awkward Moment When you're watching a movie with your parents & a sex scene comes on
"Jail...I mean school...sorry I can't tell the difference
Don't be Racist, be like a Panda. they're Black, White, and Asian. Yet... not Mexican... hmmm, be a panda with a TACO!!
*fake punch* *fake punch* *fake punch* *BANG!!* ''OMG! i'm sooo sorry!''
"DAD DAD!! COME HERE QUICK! OH DEAR GOD PLEASE COME!!" "WHAT!? WHO'S HURT!!" "No one, there's a spider...please kill it"
"Is school cancelled?" "1 sec let me check FB"
who else sits in the backseat of the car when you're pissed at your parents
Thinking you're getting a mad tan. but you come out looking like a friggin' tomato...
and next time there is an awkward silence at the dinner table, look at your parents and say [by the way, I'm pregnant.]
That awkward moment when a group of guys goes to the bathroom together...
I don't party like a Rockst r. Rockst rs party like me
I am a nice shark,not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself.
Fish are friends, not food
~Finding Nemo
After a movie: ❒ Watch the credits. ❒ Sit and wait until the screen goes black. ✔"OMG I NEED TO PEE!!!"
DUDE! He just called you a FACEBOOK ADDICT! Oh hell no, hold my laptop
oh WAIT... WAIT! I have a notification!
*officer pulls over a speeding car* Officer: Papers? Driver: Scissors! I WIN!!!!!!
That awkward moment when your parents tell you to stay in the line when you're shopping, and when you're almost near the cashier, they're not even back yet...
some of the people on american idol; I swear.. it's like, they're trying to awaken spirits from the dead..
That awkward moment when the weird squirrel from the ice age finally gets his acorn...
I love it when its completely silent in class and some random kid decides to run down the hall screaming and making funny noises
I consider myself a crayon..I might not be your favorite color, but one day youre going to need me to complete your picture.
when someone touches your phone and you automatically turn into a ninja!
What if on 11/11/11 at 11:11 there was a shooting star. How freaking ironic would that be?
That awkward moment at school when the class is watching a movie and the only person that laughs is the teacher...
Dear restaurants, Please put out coloring books and crayons for the teenagers too. We would appreciate it.
That awkward moment
when you walk into a closet and don’t end up in Narnia...
If corn oil is made from corn; vegetable oil is made from vegetables:... then what's BABY OIL made out of?...
Three things I have NEVER felt like; A plastic bag, A ''G6'' & P.Diddy...
"sometimes at night when I'm driving I'll put the Harry Potter theme song on and pretend that I'm in a flying car"
Saying "Thats What She Said" At A Very Serious Moment
Dude! ... I wasn’t that drunk!...
Dude! You were on my roof then jumped onto my trampoline then jumped into my pool and started singing it’s Friday Friday Friday while petting a duck raft!
You were swimming in a mud puddle and shouting I’m swimming in Willy Wonka’s chocolate river!
You sat in my fish tank singing under the sea.
Then why were you jumping on the trampoline singing I believe I can fly?
On Halloween you told a ghost to get a life.
Then how come you kept punching bricks hoping coins would come out? (it’s possible…)
You picked up my dog and threw him screaming underdog your back!
You spent two hours trying to drown your pet fish
You broke into a pet store and got all of the birds started to throw them and chanted Angrey Birds over and over
You were yelling Trix are for kids at my rabbit
You were trying to get my ferret to dig a tunnel away from the hyenas
You were giving SpongeBob cpr and screaming SpongeBob come back!
You were hugging a hobo with a white beard screaming Dumbledore your back!
Have you seen the pictures on facebook?
You gave a sock to a midget and screamed Dobby you’re free!
You cut up all my pineapples and kept yelling Spongebob where are you?
You were in my fireplace screaming Diagon Alley!
I found you in my closet screaming the passage to Narnia has been sealed!
You were asking your girlfriend if she was single
You were yelling never at my Justin Bieber posters
You kept screaming at my toilet saying come back nemo
You broke up with your ex-girlfriend
You went up to my Kelly Clarkson poster and said oh, your back
You were asking my cat why he killed Mufasa
You were trying to hook people up with your girlfriend
You started making out with my Justine Bieber poster
You were running around with a stick in your hand screaming avada kadavra
You were watching Dore screaming backpack backpack
You were yelling at my goldfish saying I want my fairy godparents back
You were asking a chauffeur if he needed a ride
We found you in a bush…’nuff said
You were standing outside in the snow yelling where’s the beach?
You were chasing lightening bugs around screaming Tinkerbelle, come back!
You went up to Voldemort and said I got your nose!
You bought Justin Bieber tickets
You went out with my guitar and started singing the campfire song
You smashed my ipod because I was listening to wiz kalifa and you thought he was trapped inside
You heard thunder and yelled the gods are angry! Someone return the lightening bolt
You ran around yelling who you calling pin head, dirty dan?
You went into walmart and when someone spoke on the intercom you dropped to your knees and cried God has spoken!
You were making yo mama jokes to your own mom!
You went to the pool screaming we found Narnia
You were prank calling my dad and asking if my mom was free this weekend
You got on my dog and yelled giddy up horsey
You jumped off a building yelling come on spidey powers!
You held my cat in the air and started singing the circle of life
You were looking in my freezer for santa
You kicked my sister’s stuffed squirrel and asked where its nuts were
You turned over every rock in my driveway trying to find Patrick
Ok, I get it I was that drunk..
Yes you were now stop arguing.
----- I mean, jeez, get a lj or something. This IS funny but it's not you.... And they keep interrupting their story with a/ns it's a pain. But their story was good. Plus, I put bull ess in all my bios so, go on. Just, man, it's annoying.
Yep. Kay. Yess. I will. Mhm. I know. I won't. Yeah. Yup. Sure. Yeah. Ok. BYE MOM.
On the computer doing homework* You always have Twitter, facebook, & Google opened.
''Benkinersophobia''
The fear of not receiving a letter from Howgwarts on your 11th birthday.
Now Made With REAL Cheese!
Well, wtf was it made with before?!
Even when I have nothing to do, I still don't do my homework
Lying on your back texting and dropping your phone on your face
"I'm a wizard!" "Prove it." "Sorry, no magic outside Hogwarts."
The real danger of chewing gum at school isn't being caught by your teachers, its being caught by your friends...
I've Always Wanted to Spin Round in a Chair & Say "I've Been Expecting You''
That one 'mood' when suddenly everything is funny and you can't stop laughing
Everybody wants happiness nobody wants pain. But you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.
Pulling up your blanket & accidentally punching yourself in the face.
My mouth automatically says "damn" when something wrong happens.
"Dude I have something really funny to tell you!" *Adult walks into room* "..Hold on I'll tell you in a minute."
Kid: Can I goto the bathroom?
Teacher: Say your ABCs first
Kid: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ
Teacher: Wheres the P?
Kid: Its runnin down my leg
When your parents call you by your full name, you know you're dead meat
If aliens ever land on earth and demand to see our leader, Our best chance of survival is to bring them to Lady Gaga.
"Dude, I wasn't that drunk..." ... "You cut all my pineapples and kept yelling, SPONGEBOB I KNOW YOUR IN THERE!"
YouTube: "This video is not available in your country." Where the hell am I from? Narnia?
Checking the fridge every ten minutes to see if any food magically appeared.
Facebook is like jail
You sit around and waste time.
Write on walls
And get poked by people you don't know.
Dear Edward Cullen, So you stay young forever and sneak into the rooms of young girls? How original. Sincerely, Peter Pan
Google Turned 12 this year This means we only have one more year to use it Before it turns into a teenager and wont answer anything
First thing a girl says when it rains? MY HAIR.
You were Given this life, Because you are Strong enough to live it!
H.A.T.E.R.S = Having Anger Toward Everyone Reaching Success
Dear tongue, can't touch this
Love, Elbow
Probably Voldermort's face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
Dora: "What was your favourite part of the day?" *Children stare blankly at the screen.* Dora: "I liked that too!"
Reading someone's status and thinking 'oh shut the hell up'
admit it
at one point in your life
you have tried to balance the light switch between on and off position.
"Aaacchhooo!" "Bless you" "Aaaaaacchhoooooo!" "Bless you!" "Aaaaaaaaacchhooooooooo!" "Dude, what the hell?!"
And who else
Tries Accomplishing Things
before
The microwave reaches 0:00?
Nemo Quote; Dory- I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine. And he shall be my Squishy.
Elevator door doesn't open immediately. Sudden reaction; "TRAPPED FOREVER."
Dear 4th graders on facebook,
How are you in a complicated relationship? What’d he do, steal your animal crackers?
Yes it's friday. No, you do not have to start singing Rebecca Black.
The awkward moment when you get out of the shower and suddenly the house is empty...
The awkward moment when you accidentally type a wink instead of a smiley and make whatever you just said sound seductive...
When I was your age, we had theAmanda Show. Not iCarly...
Remembers back when Blackberry's and Apple's were still just fruit...
The word lie sits right in the middle of the word Believe
That scary moment when you're about to sleep and horror scenes flash in your head D:
I hate it when skinny people call themselves fat...
That awkward moment when your talking and your gum falls out of your mouth.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
Life is short, so smile while you have teeth
Have you ever wanted to meet yourself and see yourself at a different point of view?
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's learning to dance in the rain.
I wish you could Google anything.You could search like,"Where is my cell phone?" & it would be like, "Its under the couch dumb ass"
8 year olds today have facebooks, twitter, phones, ipods. When i was their age, I had a coloring book, crayons, chalk, and imagination...
I love those moments where you just smile and think, "I love life."
Dear Algebra, I'm a bit worried about your obsession with your 'EX'. Sorry but they're just not that into you so do us the favor & move on!
A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
If you listen too much to what people say about you, you will never be who you really are.
Money is made out of paper, paper is made out of wood, wood is made out of trees... therefore, money does grow on trees!
Don't worry about the people in your past; There's a reason they didn't make it to your future.
I think there's a smudge on.̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨.̸̸̨̨your screen.
Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears
That horrifying moment when your mom says... "I need to talk to you." And u think of everything you did wrong this week.
I miss the days when you could simply push somebody in the pool but now you have to worry about their phone!...
So I saw a butterfly with no wings today. I poured some Red Bull and BAM!...It drowned...
When I grow up, I want a son first, then a daughter; So my son would beat up any boy that makes my little girl cry.
There's a million fish in the sea, infinity stars in the sky, six billion people in this world, but there's only one nemo, one sun & one you.
Best friends...You fight, I fight. You hurt, I hurt. You cry, I cry. You jump off a bridge; I get in a paddleboat and save your stupid tail.
Spelling M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I was a big thing when we were little.
Dora: what part did you like? Me: :D Oh! I liked the part where...- Dora: I liked that part too. Me: Bitch I wasn't done!
That awkward moment when Dora finds out about Google Maps
Dear room,
I only cleaned you because I had homework.
Sincerely, procrastinator.
Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K = Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge
I wonder how many Dads name their boy's Luke just so they can tell him, "Luke, I am your father."
I believe the word 'studying' was derived from the words 'students dying'...
Everyone says don't say 'hate' because it's a strong word; why does nobody say that when someone says 'love' without reason?
when ppl in movies cry they look beautiful.When ppl cry in real life,ur face gets red,ur eyes get puffy,& then theres the whole snot thing
Dear sock,Please leave 1 million dollars behind the sink if you ever want to see your twin again. Sincerely, the washing machine
Rumors- As fake as the people who made them up
Wake up in the morning feelin like P. Diddy. "No, actually I feel like going back to sleep." :P
SMASH!* Mom: what was that? Me: uhh, nothingggg...
When I Was Younger,
Hannah Montana Was That's So Raven,
I-Carly Was Drake & Josh,
Justin Bieber Was Jesse Mccartney,
Lady Gaga Was Britney Spears,
Wizards Of Waverly Place Was Phill Of The Future,
And Spongebob... Is STILL Spongebob
Justin Bieber walks by*
Elementary school: OMG JUSTIN BIEBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Middle school: Oooooh, a famous person!
High school: OMFG, WHERE'S MY SHOTGUN?!
Dear life, Can we go back to when boys had cooties, HW was 2+2, & the drama was over who stole my crayons? Sincerely, over-stressed teenagers.
Elementary School: I cant wait to go to middle school! Middle School: I cant wait to go to high school! HS: Send me back to kindergarten...
crossing the road* Age 5 : Holding mommy's hand. Age 10: Stop, Look, Listen. Age 13: FUCKINGG RRRUUUUNNN!!!
A paper cut is the paper's way of saying,"If I was still a tree, I would give you a damn splinter,but this is the best I can do"
the awkward moment when you're at someone's house and you HATE the food for dinner...
Lιfє ιѕ ѕнσят, вreaĸ тнe rυleѕ, ғorgιve qυιcĸly, ĸιѕѕ ѕlowly, love тrυly, laυgн υnconтrollaвly, and never ғorgeт anyтнιng тнaт мade υ ѕмιle
No, you are NOT what you eat. Otherwise we'd become SMARTER when we eat SMARTIES...
Like this if you remember on nickelodeon shows like; The Wild Thornberries, Double Dare 2000, Legends of the Hidden Temple, All That, etc.!
Mom: You ready to go? Me: Yeah.. Mom: Alright, let's go. Me: WAIT! I HAVE TO GET MY SHOES ON!!
That super awkward moment of silence in class... and then some stupid kid yells out "WHY'D IT GET SO QUIET" then every one starts talking...
Oh PLEASE. We all know those celebrities don't get flawless skin from Neutrogena or Proactive. It's called a shitload amount of makeup and airbrushing
THE AWKWARD MOMENT
When you realize that if Taylor Swift & Taylor Lautner got married, they'd both be Taylor Lautner...
People say "thank God" all the time, but if a giant voice suddenly said"YOU'RE WELCOME" back, you know it would scare the sh*t out of u O_O
Pretending to die in front of your pet, just to see how they would react
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. - (F)ight for you. (R)espect you. (I)nvolve you. (E)ncourage you. (N)eed you. (D)eserve you and (S)tand by you.
Spongebob: ''Aww cheer up Squidward, it could be worse!'' Patrick: ''Yeah you could be bald and have a big nose!''
Someday I want to meet Taylor Lautner in front of a bunch of screaming >>twilight
GO TO GOOGLE. TYPE IN "WHOS CUTER?" THEN CLICK THE FIRST RESULT. like this if it made you Smile.
"Mario, he's all like"hello, im Mario, Im an Italian plumber created by Japanese ppl, who speaks English and looks Mexican""
I'm the kind of person that can set the kitchen on fire by making a bowl of cereal
How awesome would be playing >>hide-n-go seek
in your whole school
Today we drove past a Home Depot. The M light was out ... Akward?
All my life, I've been good, but now, oh whoa whoa, I'm thinking what the hell?
Test Says...
"Blah Blah Blah Blah yes or no?..."
"HA! Easy!"...
"Explain."
"...shit."
Haha this shit's not scary... Oh wait, based on a true story??
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I would never be bored again
that awkward moment when you walk into a movie late & it feels like everyone is staring at you...
Dear "I only gave you an hour of homework",
Yeah, you and the other six teachers I have everyday.
Sincerely, sleep deprive
if I sleep too much, my parents complain
If I don’t get enough sleep, my parents complain.
if I eat too much, my parents complain.
If I don’t eat enough, my parents complain.
If I’m always in my room, my parents complain.
If I go out too much, my parents complain...
I Cant Win.
If my parents had some sort of crystal ball that let them watch over me,over the course of one day at school... Id be screwed...
I love it when like 5th graders Have the new ipod and a cell phone and they think their the shit. it's like No; you're supposed to have A freaking Jump Rope You Little bastards.
In our generation we have ...
created animal shaped rubberbands.
whipped our hair back & forth, as a dance.
popped lenses out of 3D glasses, and wore them, thinking we looked cool.
had bracelets expressing our love for "boobies."
had more teen pregnancies than any other generation before us.
& found an easy way to stalk people (facebook.)
How lovely..
I got bored and googled weird holidays; Apparently January 31st is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day. I now have a new favorite holiday
Before I die, I want to hold a party with fake alcohol, and see how many people act wasted.
You know shit's gonna go down when the quiet kid curses
"I LOVE Eminem!" "I like skittles better..." "No, the rapper, idiot..." "Your the idiot, what's so good about M&M wrappers?!"
We have all gone through that Awkward Moment When you're watching a movie with your parents & a sex scene comes on
"Jail...I mean school...sorry I can't tell the difference
Don't be Racist, be like a Panda. they're Black, White, and Asian. Yet... not Mexican... hmmm, be a panda with a TACO!!
*fake punch* *fake punch* *fake punch* *BANG!!* ''OMG! i'm sooo sorry!''
"DAD DAD!! COME HERE QUICK! OH DEAR GOD PLEASE COME!!" "WHAT!? WHO'S HURT!!" "No one, there's a spider...please kill it"
"Is school cancelled?" "1 sec let me check FB"
who else sits in the backseat of the car when you're pissed at your parents
Thinking you're getting a mad tan. but you come out looking like a friggin' tomato...
and next time there is an awkward silence at the dinner table, look at your parents and say [by the way, I'm pregnant.]
That awkward moment when a group of guys goes to the bathroom together...
I don't party like a Rockst r. Rockst rs party like me
I am a nice shark,not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself.
Fish are friends, not food
~Finding Nemo
After a movie: ❒ Watch the credits. ❒ Sit and wait until the screen goes black. ✔"OMG I NEED TO PEE!!!"
DUDE! He just called you a FACEBOOK ADDICT! Oh hell no, hold my laptop
oh WAIT... WAIT! I have a notification!
*officer pulls over a speeding car* Officer: Papers? Driver: Scissors! I WIN!!!!!!
That awkward moment when your parents tell you to stay in the line when you're shopping, and when you're almost near the cashier, they're not even back yet...
some of the people on american idol; I swear.. it's like, they're trying to awaken spirits from the dead..
That awkward moment when the weird squirrel from the ice age finally gets his acorn...
I love it when its completely silent in class and some random kid decides to run down the hall screaming and making funny noises
I consider myself a crayon..I might not be your favorite color, but one day youre going to need me to complete your picture.
when someone touches your phone and you automatically turn into a ninja!
What if on 11/11/11 at 11:11 there was a shooting star. How freaking ironic would that be?
That awkward moment at school when the class is watching a movie and the only person that laughs is the teacher...
Dear restaurants, Please put out coloring books and crayons for the teenagers too. We would appreciate it.
That awkward moment
when you walk into a closet and don’t end up in Narnia...
If corn oil is made from corn; vegetable oil is made from vegetables:... then what's BABY OIL made out of?...
Three things I have NEVER felt like; A plastic bag, A ''G6'' & P.Diddy...
"sometimes at night when I'm driving I'll put the Harry Potter theme song on and pretend that I'm in a flying car"
Saying "Thats What She Said" At A Very Serious Moment
Dude! ... I wasn’t that drunk!...
Dude! You were on my roof then jumped onto my trampoline then jumped into my pool and started singing it’s Friday Friday Friday while petting a duck raft!
You were swimming in a mud puddle and shouting I’m swimming in Willy Wonka’s chocolate river!
You sat in my fish tank singing under the sea.
Then why were you jumping on the trampoline singing I believe I can fly?
On Halloween you told a ghost to get a life.
Then how come you kept punching bricks hoping coins would come out? (it’s possible…)
You picked up my dog and threw him screaming underdog your back!
You spent two hours trying to drown your pet fish
You broke into a pet store and got all of the birds started to throw them and chanted Angrey Birds over and over
You were yelling Trix are for kids at my rabbit
You were trying to get my ferret to dig a tunnel away from the hyenas
You were giving SpongeBob cpr and screaming SpongeBob come back!
You were hugging a hobo with a white beard screaming Dumbledore your back!
Have you seen the pictures on facebook?
You gave a sock to a midget and screamed Dobby you’re free!
You cut up all my pineapples and kept yelling Spongebob where are you?
You were in my fireplace screaming Diagon Alley!
I found you in my closet screaming the passage to Narnia has been sealed!
You were asking your girlfriend if she was single
You were yelling never at my Justin Bieber posters
You kept screaming at my toilet saying come back nemo
You broke up with your ex-girlfriend
You went up to my Kelly Clarkson poster and said oh, your back
You were asking my cat why he killed Mufasa
You were trying to hook people up with your girlfriend
You started making out with my Justine Bieber poster
You were running around with a stick in your hand screaming avada kadavra
You were watching Dore screaming backpack backpack
You were yelling at my goldfish saying I want my fairy godparents back
You were asking a chauffeur if he needed a ride
We found you in a bush…’nuff said
You were standing outside in the snow yelling where’s the beach?
You were chasing lightening bugs around screaming Tinkerbelle, come back!
You went up to Voldemort and said I got your nose!
You bought Justin Bieber tickets
You went out with my guitar and started singing the campfire song
You smashed my ipod because I was listening to wiz kalifa and you thought he was trapped inside
You heard thunder and yelled the gods are angry! Someone return the lightening bolt
You ran around yelling who you calling pin head, dirty dan?
You went into walmart and when someone spoke on the intercom you dropped to your knees and cried God has spoken!
You were making yo mama jokes to your own mom!
You went to the pool screaming we found Narnia
You were prank calling my dad and asking if my mom was free this weekend
You got on my dog and yelled giddy up horsey
You jumped off a building yelling come on spidey powers!
You held my cat in the air and started singing the circle of life
You were looking in my freezer for santa
You kicked my sister’s stuffed squirrel and asked where its nuts were
You turned over every rock in my driveway trying to find Patrick
Ok, I get it I was that drunk..
Yes you were now stop arguing.
----- I mean, jeez, get a lj or something. This IS funny but it's not you.... And they keep interrupting their story with a/ns it's a pain. But their story was good. Plus, I put bull ess in all my bios so, go on. Just, man, it's annoying.