I need Walmart!
It sucks getting this paranoid over things. Kids today have it made. No matter what a parent does, it is wrong today. Discipline is abuse--no matter how you do it. Neglect is if you have a special needs kids child that drools, and don't follow him around the school with a napkin.
Yes, I am bitter. Does it show?
Anyway, I am going to Walmart. I am also being selfish and going to spend some money. I need to spend money. I need to feel good, if only for a few minutes.
I won't hear anything from the social worker investigating for a while now. I just have to wait and see what happens. In the meantime, I just live in paranoia. I am so fearful of everything that, Taylor fell today after tripping on a cord and all I could think was, "What if they think I pushed her"? Isn't that awful--to be that afraid of your kid being a kid?
On another note, the contractor is almost done with my house--the stairs are now 6x6' and I can put my grill outside of my kitchen door. It is now on the deck, off of the den, behind my kitchen. He is putting my new door and storm door in tomorrow and the lattice work is done around the deck.
I did ask him to do me a favor and build me a gate. Taylor is getting more daring in her need to explore and, I have this fear of her figuring out the new slider, going down the deck into the back yard and going through the broken gate--to the street. We live only 2 streets from the lake. It is a long walk but--paranoia has me by the balls (if I had balls). I want the fence fixed this spring, but that is TOM'S job so--it might be a while before I see that happen.
Ex-nun lady came today with fence guy today. The fence should be going in soon. I told him I wanted it painted so we don't have to do a damn thing with it when it is done.
3 days are predicted for rain--oh, joy. If nothing makes me even more depressed, it is rain. I really need that sunshine, damn it! When are we New Englanders going to get some nice weather?
I have company coming tomorrow. I might drop from shock after I write this but, the girl that gets my work for me, who is also 'a friend' is coming over.
*Reads this and drops off of chair in shock--climbs back up*
Very rarely does she come here. I think the last time she came here was when I Christened Colin and Taylor. I have always had to go up there. She called tonight and said she will be here around 11 AM.
I think she is just coming over to see the work that we have done to the house. That is usually when she comes over. We have this thing--she does something to her house, I love it and do it to mine. She sees something in my house and does the same.
That is about all we have in common--our taste in home upgrades!
Well, I guess it is time to get everyone to bed. I have showered them, checked their fingernails, made sure their socks are overly white and made sure all of their schoolwork is truly done.
I also checked off that, three came home from school with their snacks all over their faces, twice this week. I made sure their skin was shining when they left this morning. I will be sure to report this to the social worker when she calls! The school is NOT ENSURING MY CHILDREN ARE CLEAN.
Do I really sound bitter over this? Hmmmmmm....