8/20/02
Because our state has cut so many funds for the special needs, in lieu of the senators, reps and our wonderful, whining woman governor (another entry in itself) taking pay cuts, getting these funds is much harder now. Because I have 3 children that are special needs, my situation is double that of the ordinary person who might apply for such aid. This makes the person assigned to my case forced to work very hard to get the funds that are reserved for my children.
Autism has become somewhat of an 'outbreak' in the US. Many areas, such as California, Texas and Massachusetts have high instances of the life-long disease. This has caused agencies like DMR and other agencies that survive on Government funding to be hit the hardest. After September 11, many states were hit hard in the financial budgets, causing them to cut the much-needed programs instead of cutting the programs that they have personal-gains associated with.
Sad, but true.
After talking about my past year, the woman told me that, out of almost 300 cases I was her worst. I told her that Murphy lives here, and what can I do but go with the flow. She wrote down everything from my dryer being blown, to the pool liner (which falls under physical therapy for Autism, which the pool is). She mentioned the van problems and the need for school clothing for the kids.
She told me her own story, and how she could understand what I am going through to a certain degree. When faced with her child being born with severe birth defects, and that child being hospitalized for almost 2 years of her life, her husband was unable to cope and walked out on them. She was forced to quit her job because of the services her child would need were 24/7 and something only she could do herself.
Her child went through everything, from being mainstreamed into a classroom that she didn't belong in, to being left alone in a hallway and sexually molested by a janitor. The teachers at the time did NOT want to be 'burdened' with caring for her during their own lunch hour, so left her alone in a hallway to eat her lunch. It was then that the janitor saw her and coaxed her into going into a room with him. She was severely molested to the point of her vaginal area being torn to shreds. The man not only used his penis, but other 'janitorial' devices to do his nasty deed.
The woman was faced with bankruptcy, as well as many other issues that pertained to a parent that is trying to survive alone, raising a child that most would not be able to deal with.
Her daughter turned violent after the molestation and had to be put into a classroom that was not to her intellectual degree, but more towards restraining her on a physical level. The woman fought for years with IEP meetings, mediation with the school itself and hiring lawyers to get her child into the program she needed.
I felt damn lucky that I had not experienced this degree of 'stress'. I also felt lucky that I had her for an advocate, for she gave me a new outlook on my own situation.
We spent an hour, just chit chatting about our state legislatures and how they are clue-less about situation such as this. Because they can afford private education and therapy, many think that services such as DMR and Lifelinks are wasted sources of government funding.
I told her that I have been to the State House in Boston many times, and knew our local legislators very well. I would be in contact with them shortly, for this is an election year and they both are close to being outvoted, because people are so geared at change this year.
Because we have so many families in Mass. that have Autistic children, I will use the tactic I use to get results. I will give them the 'who will vote for or against you' tactic. I say it in a subtle way as if I am praising their efforts, but I will hit the nerve of gaining votes at the same time.
"I will be sure to email all the parents in our area about your efforts, so that they are aware of how you are fighting for us".
This gives them a bit of a shove. After all, you don't want to piss off the people that you need votes from on an election year.
I am having major anxiety attacks today. This usually happens after a night of hearing those critical voices in my head. I have taken 1 1/2 Klonopin, and have been writing here as well, trying to get through this. I have to admit that I have been avoiding the kids. Because my nerves are very bad, I tend to have little patience. Until my anxiety subsides, I stay here in the dungeon and work through it before stepping foot into their world.
The shop called about my van a few minutes ago. It is not as bad as it sounded at first. Something about a motor mount and the engine shifting. It is only a 50.00 part, with about 1 - 2 hours of labor. That is a relief of not being a transmission problem. Let me sigh a breath of relief here!
The van has only 75k miles on it. I also realize this is the time when things go. With extra care, I hopefully can keep it going for a while. With my current situation, I am not even thinking of new cars. I must keep myself on the level that I am going, and not set myself back any further.
It’s nap time for the cherub’s. The Klonopin is taking effect, so I am able to go face the world. I might be back, so be fair warned. Just ignore the ranting of a Mad Homemaker.
