Things that go bump in the night...
The teachers tell me that, they don't know what her problem is because she seems shy about asking for help. I explain about her shyness (and probably, embarrassment) over asking for help, but I get the old,'>
She stays for late help every week. I do my best to help but, math and I never had a loving relationship. Although I am much better at science, I don't remember all the words like, 'proper, improper' fractions--as far as I am concerned, ALL FRACTIONS are improper!
Arghhhh...
I just settled down from the arguing with her over homework, Ryan's stubborn streak (yes, he has it as well) over "carrying over" numbers (Ryan tests above average intelligence, but likes to pretend he doesn't get it), and Sean just whining over anything that came out of my mouth. I come down here, put on the news and have my little glass of lemonade when--
"I hear the death-like banshee wail" coming from the bedrooms.
I run up and it is Taylor. I open her door, expecting that she fell out of bed but find her screaming at the window instead.
I sit on the bed, trying to comfort her and can feel the sweat that has drenched her body. Her eyes are wide open in fear, staring at the window and shaking in terror at the same time.
With 'typical' children, you can talk about bad dreams and comfort them with words. With autistic children, it is a whole different story. I couldn't even enter her world at that moment--she was stuck in her own little place of fear and refusing to come out of it.
Finally, I resort to singing. Now, at one time I had one HELL of a voice. Years of smoking cigarettes and pouring hard liquor down my throat during the wild-young years, pretty much ruined that. However, my voice still seems to calm her--so, I break out into my own rendition of, "GOD BLESS AMERICA".
I would have sung the National Anthem but I have to stand and salute the flag for that. It would have taken away from my rubbing her back and holding her tight as I tried to bring her back into my world.
I don't know how it calms her, since the thought of my singing anything that loudly would have the neighbor's all searching for new homes. However, it does, and did. She looked away from the window, took hold of me very tightly, and settled down on her stomach as she allowed me to continue rubbing her back.
It took 2 hours but, she finally fell back to sleep around 11:30. I had to pry my hand from her hand. She was holding me that tightly.
I am guessing she had a bad dream. There is no stoop outside of her window--I remember seeing a cat in my window as a child, and the green eyes glowing. I swore it was Satan coming to get me (that Catholic upbringing of the 60's). It could have been the sensor light across the street on the house there but, that has always been there so it isn't anything new.
I really have no clue and it isn't like she can tell me either.
I fell asleep in the chair; sleeping there so I could hear her if she woke again. I knew if I laid down completely, nothing would wake me.
I woke at 2:30 AM and here I sit--wide awake, and already started my 'cleaning out' projects.
If I had the right tools, I would be painting by now. This is the perfect time to do such things--no one is up!
Instead, I am happily sipping on my coffee in private--watching the sun come up fully and taking in every moment of my solitude.
It is about to break soon--the kids will be up any minute now for school.
So, that was my LOVELY evening. I haven't decided if I enjoy her 2 AM roaming more or her screaming dreams--her roaming involves me to make sure I am awake, since she can figure out how to get the eye-hook off of the bi-fold door that I had put on her bedroom for safety. She has been known to get up and play with things, such as the gas stove knobs.
The screaming is definitely worse, I think. There is nothing you can do or say to relieve her fear. Words mean nothing because she is so far into her world that she doesn't want to come out.
Well, that was my whine for the morning. I should take notice of my final few minutes and, start cleaning the den more. I have found toys that have been missing for years now. It is amazing how; just moving one piece of furniture can do that when you have children.
I need to find the coffee pot again!