the reason that it hurts sooooo much, is because it's not entirely comforting to know that lindsey stayed for a week. in other situations, with someone you really love who really loves you back, you start to feel wonderfully optimistic about life, and about waiting, and about everything. i myself have sometimes felt like this when thinking about the significant other i was currently with. those being... on occasion lindsey, but mostly with ale. the thing is, you probably miss her a lot because you want to win her over more. you want to show her to you more. that's all i can think of. lindsey is just a little too much in her own world, and you have to get her to pay attention more i think. that's the feeling i got anyway, that she has to get out of herself more, even though she says she's just observing, which i don't believe truly. again, this is just my view of what's giong on, and why it hurts.
your... pathetic... in my opinion brian, you have no clue of the realtionship i lead with lindsey and yet you make thise fantisfully observations assuming situations that have not happened, you use these "prior knowledge" so to speak, which doesn't play effect, and if it did, it would be rather ignored as being insubstancial in comparision to what the entirity of the situation meant. Don't comment on ym realtionships any longer, you do nothing but make me think of poisonous thoughts that do not need to be thought. I would have to just assuming your trying to ruin my life and lindsey's for some reason, becuase you appear to have no other motives, except, perhaps, that you may have a fantasy for geting lindsey "back" so to speak. To that i say she is not some prize or some... somehting to take pride in, not some idle gossip. I rarely talk of her unless someone else brings it up. It is not that she is not someone a person can take pride in, indeed, i could take pride in being around her, being in love with her, loving her, her
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i'm sorry if you feel i'm personally trying to ruin your life cole. i'll say that i'm not, but it might do anything. to be perfectly honest, if you must know, i'm just trying to theraputically counsel myself, as to what is going on. and seeing your situation, i'm trying to rationalize what happened between me and lindsey. i don't believe it is right to get so extremely upset over such things, and you know that saying radiohead is the best will never add up to anything, and i never press it more then i have from the very beggining. with this, i think you should lighten up on this, and be more objective. i wish to tell you things but i cannot. i just think that .... nm. i believe you should justify why i am wrong, and i will feel better about you two. i dont' know...
:: sighs :: I do apologize.... bah... i'm just afully touchy about this... it seems liek your making osme sort of attack... or attacks.... and i don't especially like it... That and you caught me right after Lindsey left, and i wasn't in too good of a mood. Nothing i typed was meant to seem angerfull or vengeful, or.... violent. To tell the truth it was all in sorrow and profound frustrtation. Next time i think.... if you want to confront me about somehting, don't make some sort of comparison or some... statement that seems like an attack or even one that... Well, just ask about the situation before you make an evaluation of it. Your only getting a quarter of the story at most, and it frustrtates me when you make these analysations when you do not know... I think the key thing is to ask. Also, if you want to be theraputic to yourself, then again, ask about it, and share what your feelings are about your situation, not mine. My situation, even if connected, is mine.... bah... that sounds somewhat selfish and cynical.... but
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see, me and roger thought it would be extremely funny, to have an anonymous person, that would be us, posing as a pyschologist, or whoever best fits the bill, to say that he looked over what was going on, and in his professional opinion, thinks cole to be in extreme denial, this that and the other thing. now, i'm sure you agree that it would be funnier then the funniest thing we've ever done! anyway, i didn't have the gumption to actually do it, so i've just blown the whole skit wide open. maybe we will anyway
:: frowns :: if i have to, i will amke my live journal a private one, and only registered users and such as i allow could post their comments, i won't threaten you with this, but if i find it nessesary to keep comments that i find a tad derrogitive off of my page, i still do have other abilities on that page. I just ask that you quit being annoying
well i really don't see anyone else responding, so you might as well say, i don't want anyone responding to my journals. maybe some weird girl and guy did at first, but they've stopped altogether, not even ivy does. or lindsey!
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