Valentine's Day
You may well think the above title could mean nothing but a rant but this isn't really anything of the sort.
I have recently lost two really great guys so I wasn't really expecting today to hold much fun for me. And it didn't exactly, it was just a day like any other. But on the way into town on the dart the sea was incredibly blue and the sun was shining over Killiney Bay, and Stephen's Green was sunny and even the bare trees seemed beautiful. Couples were walking together arm-in-arm through the park, even that early, and I genuinely could feel happy for them, for everyone who's happy with somebody else. For anyone who feels loved and wanted and attractive. Its a wonderful feeling and I remember how good it used to make me feel. It's a comforting thought that when things go wrong, you always have that one person to rely on and to turn to because you know they won't let you down, they look at you and see someone worthwhile and beautiful.
So in a way it was amazing to know there's still something out there. Some spark that makes people care about each other enough to go out and buy flowers and chocolates and stupid little things just to try and get some sort of message across. That they care and that they try. Ok, so some of them mightn't care all that much, some of them are motivated by lust or simply advertising but there's still SOMETHING out there.
And today I've talked to some seriously unhappy people, people who haven't been with anyone for ages and ages, and who feel pressure all around them to go out and be... I don't know, promiscuous? Get laid? But there's more than that, such as the desire to know that someone cares especially for you. And when I think of the amount of time I've had, two and a half years and I've been with three amazing guys (here's some Dave and Aidan-plugging :-P ), I have no right to complain and right now, no desire to. Dave and Aidan are still wonderful friends and once I get things sorted with Darran I hope he will be too. But the point is, I've had more than my fair share of love and maybe it's only right that I'm alone now, I need to know what it feels like and be able to find happiness within myself and realise it doesn't have to come from guys.
I also believe the only kind of love you can really rely on is that that comes from your friends. You can trust them and count on them and they're not going to leave you. Even if you grow apart, you can always talk to a real friend about pretty much anything no matter how long you haven't spoken for. And thats worth more than some silly relationship that isn't going anywhere.
God that was cheesy. And I'll probably be ranting again within about three days. But for now I have this big universal feeling of hope and love, so no one spoil it by pointing out all the flaws and holes in everything I just said, I'm sleepy. And I don't feel like this very often.
No one read the bookk "The Abortionist's Daughter", its insanely awful.
I have recently lost two really great guys so I wasn't really expecting today to hold much fun for me. And it didn't exactly, it was just a day like any other. But on the way into town on the dart the sea was incredibly blue and the sun was shining over Killiney Bay, and Stephen's Green was sunny and even the bare trees seemed beautiful. Couples were walking together arm-in-arm through the park, even that early, and I genuinely could feel happy for them, for everyone who's happy with somebody else. For anyone who feels loved and wanted and attractive. Its a wonderful feeling and I remember how good it used to make me feel. It's a comforting thought that when things go wrong, you always have that one person to rely on and to turn to because you know they won't let you down, they look at you and see someone worthwhile and beautiful.
So in a way it was amazing to know there's still something out there. Some spark that makes people care about each other enough to go out and buy flowers and chocolates and stupid little things just to try and get some sort of message across. That they care and that they try. Ok, so some of them mightn't care all that much, some of them are motivated by lust or simply advertising but there's still SOMETHING out there.
And today I've talked to some seriously unhappy people, people who haven't been with anyone for ages and ages, and who feel pressure all around them to go out and be... I don't know, promiscuous? Get laid? But there's more than that, such as the desire to know that someone cares especially for you. And when I think of the amount of time I've had, two and a half years and I've been with three amazing guys (here's some Dave and Aidan-plugging :-P ), I have no right to complain and right now, no desire to. Dave and Aidan are still wonderful friends and once I get things sorted with Darran I hope he will be too. But the point is, I've had more than my fair share of love and maybe it's only right that I'm alone now, I need to know what it feels like and be able to find happiness within myself and realise it doesn't have to come from guys.
I also believe the only kind of love you can really rely on is that that comes from your friends. You can trust them and count on them and they're not going to leave you. Even if you grow apart, you can always talk to a real friend about pretty much anything no matter how long you haven't spoken for. And thats worth more than some silly relationship that isn't going anywhere.
God that was cheesy. And I'll probably be ranting again within about three days. But for now I have this big universal feeling of hope and love, so no one spoil it by pointing out all the flaws and holes in everything I just said, I'm sleepy. And I don't feel like this very often.
No one read the bookk "The Abortionist's Daughter", its insanely awful.