Day Thirty-One: "Halloween: Resurrection"
Halloween: Resurrection is the last Halloween film before Rob Zombie got involved. It is also a lying lie face that lies.
According to the back of the box, "Serial killer Michael Meyers is not finished with Laurie Strode. Now that Meyers has returned to their hometown of Haddenfield, their rivalry must end."
Jamie Lee Curtis a.k.a Laurie Strode is in less than 10 minutes of this film. She's the only character named by the box (other than Michael), and she receives first billing and her picture on the box. SHE'S IN THE FILM LESS THAN 10 MINUTES. Michael finds her in a sanitarium and kills her. Good bye, Laurie. This is not the epic final rivalry showdown the box promised me!
The real plot of the movie is that Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks are internet reality t.v. show producers (this was in 2002). They have bought the Meyers' house and plan to put a bunch of college kids in it. They've hidden some vaguely scary and obviously fake things throughout the house for the college kids to find throughout the night while using audiovisual trick to try to scare them. Meanwhile, people will be watching them through the internet rather than spending their Hallowe'ens the way most people do: drinking and trying to get laid. Any kids who last the whole night get paid an obscene amount of money. Most of the students are trying to break into acting.
Michael somehow finds out about this plan (presumably through the same magic that gives the Meyers siblings super strength and super not-dying powers) and decides he doesn't like it. So he starts killing people. And nobody realizes for about twelve hours.
Somehow, that kid from THe Luck of the Irish manages to steer the Final Girl (who I mostly called Not-Kara-Thrace) through the house without getting stabbed. And then Busta Rhymes kills Michael Meyers. For reals.
This is not a good movie. By no stretch of the imagination is this a good movie. It assumes the internet is magic (and can broadcast without power), and that nobody ever calls the police. Even when people are murdered in a sanitarium. (Seriously, did no one check the security footage at all?)
Also, the box promised me epic Laurie vs. Michael showdown action. WHAT I GOT was less than 10 minutes of Jamie Lee Curtis. Most of which is spent counting the time until she receives her paycheck. On the plus side, it mostly killed Tyra and Busta Rhymes' acting careers.
According to the back of the box, "Serial killer Michael Meyers is not finished with Laurie Strode. Now that Meyers has returned to their hometown of Haddenfield, their rivalry must end."
Jamie Lee Curtis a.k.a Laurie Strode is in less than 10 minutes of this film. She's the only character named by the box (other than Michael), and she receives first billing and her picture on the box. SHE'S IN THE FILM LESS THAN 10 MINUTES. Michael finds her in a sanitarium and kills her. Good bye, Laurie. This is not the epic final rivalry showdown the box promised me!
The real plot of the movie is that Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks are internet reality t.v. show producers (this was in 2002). They have bought the Meyers' house and plan to put a bunch of college kids in it. They've hidden some vaguely scary and obviously fake things throughout the house for the college kids to find throughout the night while using audiovisual trick to try to scare them. Meanwhile, people will be watching them through the internet rather than spending their Hallowe'ens the way most people do: drinking and trying to get laid. Any kids who last the whole night get paid an obscene amount of money. Most of the students are trying to break into acting.
Michael somehow finds out about this plan (presumably through the same magic that gives the Meyers siblings super strength and super not-dying powers) and decides he doesn't like it. So he starts killing people. And nobody realizes for about twelve hours.
Somehow, that kid from THe Luck of the Irish manages to steer the Final Girl (who I mostly called Not-Kara-Thrace) through the house without getting stabbed. And then Busta Rhymes kills Michael Meyers. For reals.
This is not a good movie. By no stretch of the imagination is this a good movie. It assumes the internet is magic (and can broadcast without power), and that nobody ever calls the police. Even when people are murdered in a sanitarium. (Seriously, did no one check the security footage at all?)
Also, the box promised me epic Laurie vs. Michael showdown action. WHAT I GOT was less than 10 minutes of Jamie Lee Curtis. Most of which is spent counting the time until she receives her paycheck. On the plus side, it mostly killed Tyra and Busta Rhymes' acting careers.