Anon Re-Sort #4

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Before we get started: My goodness! I took a trip down memory lane as I wrote this app and looked at my older application, hybrid stamps, and more. From that initial app to now, there's been quite a lot of changes and life lived. Over the years, I've had votes for all four houses, not to mention quite a few Muggle votes on that first app. (Teenage me was a bit much.) Most of all, I'm so grateful you all welcomed me. From late night Hogsmeade chats to positions around the comm, it's truly been an honor to know you all.

• What HP character do you identify with most? Or if you don't feel you identify with any of them, what in general attracted you to the characters?
  
  I've grown and changed so much since I initially read the books, and I've felt connections to multiple characters over the years. Hermione, Luna, Ginny, and even Lily all come to mind. The know it all who grows beyond reciting facts, the dreamer who forges friendships with others, the younger sibling seeking to prove themselves, the devoted mother and partner.. I still see them all in me.
  
  But in the meantime.. let's go for someone new: Neville Longbottom, specifically looking at his role in book 7. He is responsible for all of the students who have fled to the Room of Requirement, a coordinator who is managing people and logistics. He is also rising to new challenges and leading the group despite uncertainty. He's had some informal training and foreshadowing in the plot, but a lot of these things have just been thrust upon him and he either had to adapt or sink under pressure. While under far less stressful stakes, I can relate to that journey. It's been a good journey so far thanks to a solid adaptable foundation, but it's not like I went to school and had a direct path after graduating and trying to find a career. I've struggled with impostor syndrome and taken on new challenges at work and at home that made me wonder - am I ready?
  

• What moment in the books was the most meaningful to you OR what do the books in general mean to you?
  
  The first time I read them, the books were honestly just another fantasy world to step into. I've always loved books and enjoyed dreaming of other worlds. But what set the series apart was how amazing it was to finally have an experience of shared fandom and excitement alongside others. I hadn't really forged fandom-based friendships before, plus I was a childhood bookworm who didn't relate super well to other kids. The midnight book drops, classroom (and even college-level - I took a course on Harry Potter in uni!) discussions, lunch table chats, late nights reading fanfictions that fixed plot holes and online chats here - what an experience of a lifetime.

• What would you see if you looked into the Mirror of Erised?
  
  This has also changed over the years, but probably a warm bed where I can sleep as long as I'd like and some free time with a notepad and pen to figure myself out. It's been building, but over the past few months I've felt lost without a strong self-driven purpose. I miss having clarity about my own goals and development as an individual. I want to find my next big dream! Between chasing after a kiddo at home and feeling pretty reactive to work stuff as opposed to thinking strategically, I really desire to feel more grounded and organized.
  
  I admittedly feel rather lukewarm about this question - in the past, I've felt more unsettled and had a stronger desire to see family members who passed on. And certainly, seeing those individuals and seeing their approval would be lovely - but there's not a part of me that's desperately seeking that soothing moment. I've come to terms with things.
  
  Perhaps a more intriguing option at this stage would be to show me the roads not traveled - key moments where I could have made a different choice and the outcome of that.

• What would be your Patronus and what would be the happiest memory you would use to conjure it?
  
  I've been stamped with a couple of different patroni, but I think I like idea of a bear or something similar best: large, strong, protective. I'm not particularly intimidating in person, so while I know it doesn't make any difference to a dementor, having a patronus that is fierce makes a difference for me. :) My wedding day would be the memory I'd call upon to conjure my patronus - dancing with my husband and being surrounded by friends and family combined with a palpable aura of happiness and optimism.

• You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one Harry Potter character other than Hagrid and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you'd want with you.
  
  Y'know, I'm going to roll a little differently on this question. Let's say we're back in the Marauders Era. My item would be the Marauder's Map. This may be a point for debate, but it looks like the Marauder's Map didn't show the entirety of the grounds? I'd like to have a purpose behind our wanderings, and it would be cool to add something to a living document like the Map that would be visible for years to come. And assuming this is a non full moon evening, I'd choose for Remus Lupin to join in. His knowledge of the Map would be useful, plus I feel like his personality would jive well with mine. We could probably share a nice conversation or two about books and the Muggle World.

• What was your ideal job as a child? What is your ideal job now? Do you think it would be the same in the Wizarding World?
  
  As a child, I really bounced between hypothetical career options. I liked science class, I loved reading books and playing video games, and I enjoyed exploring outside. Author, astronaut, teacher, librarian, lawyer, and more all bounced through my head for a variety of reasons, ranging from "it sounded cool" to "my parents thought this might be a good fit". Funnily enough, despite all the ideas, I didn't solidify my career plans until well after graduation. (Yay for being a first-generation college student and being clueless about internships and actually laying the groundwork from classwork to jobs..)
  
  Currently, my ideal job is a position that allows me to be creative and have an interesting, varied day without taking over my life. Work-life balance has been a struggle in the past, and I've been proud of my steps to advocate for myself and set up meaningful boundaries. While not 100% perfect, it's still something! (That said, if I happened to win the lottery and could spend my life taking classes in subjects that interested me without necessarily working toward a degree, I'd be in heaven.)
  
  As for the final part of this question, I feel like I could probably blend both those ideas together. There's no internet or cell phones for after-hours work, for one thing! And if I could resell some galleons on eBay, that might solve the second part, haha. To more directly answer the question, I could envision a couple of different career paths in the Wizarding World! From working at Flourish and Blotts, working as staff at Hogwarts or Beauxbatons (not teaching - I'd be more interested in family engagement or marketing or something behind the scenes.), crafting and selling wands, or maybe even something more unique like being a travel planner for wizarding families! I work best in careers where I'm not the star of the show, but can still be creative, support the larger goal, and cultivate one on one connections.

• What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?
  
  Ones where there are multiple valid, good options. Trying to make quick-fire, snap decisions can easily drive me crazy. I hate making snap decisions, especially if they also involve other people. One major example - going out for dinner. If I head to the Italian restaurant, that means I can't try that brand new sushi restaurant down the street. Or the taco truck that's an old favorite. If I choose one, I have to give up the other, equally awesome, options for the day. At least with larger and potentially life-altering decisions, I have time to sit down and think over my options and write out lists of pros and cons.
  
  Also, decisions involving a long chain of inter-related things. For example, right now I'm trying to make up my mind on what I'd like to purchase for a friend's wedding gift. I'm still trying to determine if I can attend or not, which will impact whether I ship it to them or send it to myself for gift wrapping, which will also determine if I get something bulky or lots of smaller, lightweight things. Aagh.

• Something I think everyone should experience in their lifetime (even if you yourself have not done it yet) is ______ because _______
  
  Working in retail / a customer-service heavy job because it is a humbling experience that will make you see the best and worst of humanity - possibly all within the same hour. I've had the dubious pleasure of working retail and working in a call center many years ago. Those jobs taught me the value of hard work -- and the value of keeping your head down and doing what you need to make it through a day. Sometimes your hard work doesn't matter, frankly. Situations are sometimes out of your control and you have to manage the best you can. It also taught me respect for other folks and patience. And, in some instances, I learned what kind of a person or manager I did not want to be.

• What is one thing you would never want said about you?
  
  When thinking about people in general, I can't really think of anything here that I would never want said? Not that I wouldn't be sad they would say it, but I could understand why they might? For example I can be blunt, have my head in the clouds, not be super thoughtful toward others, be boring / not the most social - I've been called all those and it made sense why I was? It's an opportunity to pause and grow. Or ignore it. Even with my usual tendency to be a perfectionist, being called sloppy or less than thoughtful doesn't stress me out like it used to.

• The hardest thing I've ever done is ______ because ______
  
  One of the most difficult choices I've had to make was regarding my job. I had a stable, good job that was close to home and paid well. I was alerted to a dream job opening by one of my friends, applied, and successfully got the job. Then comes the big question - do I accept and upend everything to go chasing a dream? Ultimately, I chose to pursue the new job - and I'm incredibly grateful I did! I've grown as a professional and tackled so many new challenges. But there's no denying it was a gamble.

• Do you believe that moral actions should be judged by the intentions behind them, or by the consequences they create?
  
  Consequences. You can have all of the best intentions in the world, but the impact of your choices are what will matter and be remembered by others. For example, I'm thinking of a character from the Critical Role fandom. There's a background character who is responsible for an apocalyptic world event in lore. When we actually see that character in action, there's a moment where they express regret and share that they had good intentions for their ultimately world-breaking choice. However good/neutral their intentions were, the fact remains that their actions created some awful consequences. And thousands of years later, the only thing recalled about them was the consequence of their actions.
  
  That said, individuals can certainly share their thought process and intentions - it's definitely valuable for understanding others at times. It just doesn't wash away what happened in the wake of their actions.

• What do you look for in a friend? What trait most annoys you about other people?
  
  Most of my friendships started out with a shared interest or activity - such as being part of the same organization, working toward a common goal, or playing a board game together. I'm not good at breaking the ice without some kind of activity or prop to get conversation flowing, so I'd like to find someone I can build a foundation of friendship with.
  
  Then, with deeper friendships, I look for someone who I can spend all day talking about everything and nothing with. And then, I'd be able to sit in companionable silence with them as well. I'm not the best at maintaining long-term friendships, admittedly, but the ones I have been able to maintain all include this aspect.

• Explain what the following traits mean to you in your own words: ambition, courage, intelligence, justice, kindness, loyalty, power, wisdom.
  Ambition: blending a visionary outlook with dreams and courage to keep climbing toward them
  Courage: listening to your heart and being true to yourself
  Intelligence: facts, figures, vocabulary, numbers, knowledge in its raw form
  Justice: striving for fairness and equal treatment for all
  Kindness: consideration, courtesy, and noticing the needs of others + acting on it
  Loyalty: a commitment to an ideal or individual
  Power: the ability to command others - either through respect, fear, precedent, or organization chart
  Wisdom: taking intelligence and applying it with critical thinking and consideration for others
  

• What do you think are your top five abilities or qualities?

1) I can have a laser-sharp focus on tasks and so much motivation. I can jump into a focused zone and work, work, work, work.. I can crank out so much stuff when I'm in the mood for making graphics or writing an essay!

2) I love planning and writing lists - I have to get everything out of my head when I'm trying to plan something, and it makes it easier to spot errors or find alternative ways to accomplish a goal than just quickly running through something once in my head! Plus, it's easier to have it all written and in front of me if my mind wanders onto another topic.

3) I work hard. (Probably too hard at points.) I always try to meet deadlines and follow through on commitments. When I'm in the middle of a project, whether graphic design or something for work, I give my best effort. I'm always engaged in the process and thinking of interesting ways to improve things - even after it's officially "done", haha!

4) I'm curious. From deep dives into Star Wars lore to wondering what's around the next corner, I've managed to hang onto a sense of curiosity and wonder about the world. I love diving into random Wikipedia articles when I have the opportunity or exploring new and different ways of doing things.

5) I'm adaptable. From a winding career journey through multiple different fields to juggling different tasks on the fly, I'm generally able to navigate things fairly well and learn from past steps that didn't work.

• What do you think are your top five weaknesses or worst qualities?

1) I can be incredibly stubborn. Sometimes, literally all it takes is someone saying "you can't do that" for me to charge out and boom! I'll make sure and find a way to do that now. Conversely, once I get an idea in my head, I will sometimes stubbornly stick with it. Usually for too long or without thinking things all the way through.

2) I can be easily distracted or lose motivation. Ah, the flip side of my focused zone. I get burnt out or simply do not feel like doing things. Or I just start overthinking it and go down the rabbit hole for a while.

3) I am overwhelmingly disorganized at times. Some days I have it all together, but other days I am drowning in lists of ideas, toys all over the house, items that don't have a permanent home piling up in inconvenient locations. You get the picture. Don't even ask how many tabs live on my computer and in my brain at one time..

4) I can be pretty anti-social. Why go out and deal with loud people, crazy traffic, and other annoyances when I can stay at home with Netflix, blankets, and warm hot chocolate?

5) I can easily get anxious and insecure. I can make one small mistake / mess up a conversation and it throws off my whole day while I sit there wondering how the other person is feeling / reacting to that. And the impostor syndrome is reallllll, y'all. It is really troublesome when I am constantly feeling like a newbie when really, I'm not. Folks treating me as a subject matter expert just feels unreal.