How Can You Both Be So Blind? Part 2
Merlin: Hooray for workarounds for the LiveJournal Character limit!
Platinumgal: Yay.
Along with all of that knowledge, they even trusted me enough to share some of their history though I'll admit that I had also asked around. Mrs Hudson was Luna's aunt
Platinumgal: Ah, so she’s homing into other characters now. Not content with sinking her teeth into Sherlock, she’s also got a familial connection to Mrs Hudson. Nice.
Sherlock: Why did Mrs Hudson not go visit Luna’s father when he was ill, then?
John: *Stares*
Sherlock: I'm not entirely ignorant about social convention, John.
so she knew a little about them. Lestrade could fill in a couple of details and for the rest, Hayley
John: I’m serious! Who’s Hayley!
Platinumgal: You’ll see.
was an amazing source of information. So, they had become friends when they were just 5 years old. As it goes, Sherlock yanked her hair, she pulled his and fromthen on, a beautifully lethal friendship was formed.
John: Hair-pulling being the perfect way to form a friendship with someone.
Merlin: It is if your trying to write what I am told is known as a 'Masochism Tango' amd you're not very good at it.
Yet, as we all know, where there's a Sherlock, his older brother Mycroft is never far behind. Mycroft had seen his brother's new friend and suddenly decided that he wanted to try and 'steal' her away,
Platinumgal: So....Mycroft is a five year old who wants to steal your favourite Barbie?
Sherlock: *Sighs*
Platinumgal *Quietly* Or your pirate hat.
or at least that's how Sherlock tells it. Personally, I think he was just a little freaking
John: ENOUGH WITH THE FREAKING!
paranoid. So
By the age of 16,
Merlin: How old is Mycroft?
Sherlock: 45-ish. I think. You should ask next time you see him, John.
Platinumgal: So considering you're several years younger than Mycroft, we've either found a rare middle aged Sue, or Mycroft has a fondness for the...younger woman.
Merlin: If he imprints on her, I’m leaving.
it could be said that Mycroft had developed some what of a crush
Platinumgal: Well if Mycroft shares any similarities with Mark Gatiss....
Merlin: 'Some what'? What is that supposed to mean?
John: My guess is that she wanted to write 'something' but also wanted to be edgey.
on poor unsuspecting Luna.
Merlin: Oh poor Luna, the only person in history who has been the subject of unwanted affections!
This involved sending her over the top gifts like stupidly expensive perfume or bouquets of flowers
Sherlock: Loathe as I am to admit it, my brother is not a villain in a trashy romance novel.
that went straight to Emily Hudson's living room.
John: And who is Emily Hudson?
Merlin : She’s either Luna’s mother, or she got Mrs Hudson’s first name wrong.
Platinumgal: In fairness, so did Arthur Conan-Doyle.
John: Didn't he write The Proffesor Challenger stories?
Oh, and there was also the fact that he told everyone that she was his girlfriend.
Sherlock: Have you got a bucket? I want to be sick.
Platinumgal: No, get your own bucket *Vomits*
According to her, she had never liked him much in the first place but in an attempt to be polite, she braved it whenever the detective was around. When someone asked her about her relationship with him, well... that was the straw that broke the hairy camels back.
John: How many camels are there?
When they were 17,
Sherlock: Mycroft is older than me!
Platinumgal: I shall therefore read this as meaning 'When Mycroft was 17 and when Luna and Sherlock were 9 and playing in the Wendy House'.
Mycroft had had enough of her resistance and gave her an ultimatium.
John: (Mycroft): You come inside right now, young lady, or no more Smurfs for you!
Sherlock: *pointedly ignores him* Spell checker. Please learn to use it.
She could either choose his sociopathic little brother or him, the older brother who could give her everything she could ever want or need in her life.
Platinumgal: (Mycroft) Hey kid, you want some sweeties? Get in the Jag.
Sherlock: *Sighs* Is this supposed to make me feel sorry for her?
When I had plucked up the courage to ask her about what she had said to him, she told me this words exactly. " Well, he received the shock of his fucking life
Platinumgal: Oh casual swearing, staple of badfics feigning maturity.
Merlin: And then I fucked the fucker in the head with the fucking shotgun. The fucker. Hey, didn't you write that one fanfic where....
Platinumgal: Shutupshutupshutup!
when I gave him the bird, spat in his face that pulled Sherlock out of the room. God, I can still remember the poor mummy's boy's face." from then on, they had apparently been living together.
Sherlock: Something tells me she’s not a fan of my brother.
Platinumgal: Not sure why. The man’s a badass.
Even when they attended college, they shared a small flat just outside of the campus.
Sherlock: I didn’t go to college. I went to University! They aren't interchangable words.
Platinumgal: As established in 'The Blind Banker'. Seriously, Suethor. Have you ever watched the show?
Sherlock told me, in confidence of course, that he could imagine her sharing a dorm with 4 other people as she adored her personal space.
John: Uh...what?
Plus, she would have probably taken a liking to sharing all their secrets at breakfast. Personally, I think that it was more like he wouldn't be able to live without her but wouldn't admit it.
Sherlock: *Stares* I don’t even...
Still, she would've been ruthless. Yet it was there when she had met my Hayley. I mean, who attends an art history lecture when they don't plan on taking the course? Luna and Sherlock of course!
Merlin: Notice how the Sue comes first?
Platinumgal: In more ways than one!
Merlin:...Thank you Plat. Thank You so much.
John: I will never be clean again.
Hayley had taken a liking to the pair of loners on her first day and invited the 'couple' for a cup of coffee from the shop around the corner.
Sherlock: I wouldn’t have gone. *sulks again*
Merlin: A bit nit-picky, I'm sure, but a 'Pair of Loners' is something of an oxymoron, isn't it?
As time went on, she managed to develop a relationship with both of them without losing her marbles which from personal experience, is a feat in itself.
Platinumgal: I don’t see the relevance.
I don't see how she did it though, especially 10 years of it but I'm glad she did. If she didn't, I would never have met her and we would never have been getting married.
John: WHAT!?!
Sherlock: *laughs for a very long time*
Merlin: Hang on a minute....The Suethor’s penname is Luna, she mentions a friend named Hayley on her profile...
Platinumgal: And she’s 15 years old.
Merlin: Figures.
I still like to remind her though that she would've been getting out this year if she just bumped them off.
Platinumgal: Uh...what?
Okay, time to get back on track. It must've been the whole Mycroft incident that his over protective nature towards the whole male race
Merlin: I think the suethor might have forgotten that you’re a man, John.
John: *Snorts*
stemmed from, or at least when Luna was concerned. If a man gave her his number in any way, shape or form, he would have gotten rid of it before she even had chance to glance at it. God forbid if a new copper came into the police station either. If his eyes wondered
Sherlock: Wandered!
from her face for a single moment, he would snap at them immediately.
Sherlock: Eh, they’d be used to it.
Funnily enough, Luna was the same with him. She would constantly protect him from Molly by flirting playfully with him.
Sherlock: Protect me from Molly!? Really?!
Platinumgal: Possessive Sue is Possessive! She can’t stand the thought that someone else might want to get into your pants. *flutters*
Sherlock: But it’s Molly! She’s the least threatening woman in the world!
You know, the small touches, whispered words and giggles. Yet, if you looked close enough, you could see that they both enjoyed it deep down.
John: *headdesks*
She had even taken a right hook from one of the suspects we had been investigating in order to protect him. Well... she needed to annoy him in the first place to see if he was the killer but I was still gob smacked.
And there they were, looking all cutely cosy and peaceful as the sun shone softly through the curtains. After a couple more minuted,
Platinumgal: How does one minute?
Merlin: I see what you did there.
he gave a heavy hearted sigh and stood, quickly catching her before she fell to her side. Once he had carefully lowered her into a more comfortable position,
Sherlock: *spit take*
he grabbed a blanket from the back of the sofa and draped it over her so she wouldn't get cold. Pulling away, he kissed her forehead tenderly then walked into the kitchen.
Sherlock: Let me out of here! I can’t take much more of this!
Platinumgal: Too late. We own you now!
When I was sure that he was safely in there, I walked in as casually as I could manage. If he ever found out what I saw in there, he would only deny the entire thing and blame it on the TV giving me some weird brain meltdown or standing too close to the chemical fumes in the kitchen.
John: Nooo, he’d call me an idiot and that would be it.
" Morning Sherlock". I greeted cheerfully. He turned around, gave me a quick glance over like usual then turned back to the kettle.
" Tea?" came his simple reply. Classic Sherlock but at least he finally realised how to use the kettle.
" Sure."
Platinumgal: Shakespeare himself is writing this, Gentlemen
A few moments later, he passed me a nice hot mug of tea before sitting where he was before. Once he was down comfortably, Luna shifted in her sleep so her head rested in his lap. He didn't move a single inch while she wrapped her arms around his waist tightly, her face pressed against his stomach.
Platinumgal: Were you not more-or-less asexual (YOU HEAR ME SUETHOR?), I would make a very crass joke here.
Sherlock: *Suspicious* What kind of crass joke?
Platinumgal: Oh,you know, The Adventure of Sherlock’s di...
John: *Quickly* Yes. We get it.
Sherlock: Get what?!
When she had settled down again, he moved his hand to rest on her hair. I sat across from them both on the tattered brown chair I had claimed as my own, the union jack pillow resting on my lap while I watched them over the top of the morning paper. At that moment, I didn't care about London, about Scotland Yard or even this Jimmy Moriarty who seemed to hate the pair.
Sherlock: Oh, you are KIDDING me.
Platinumgal: Moriaty’s not a Psychopath! He’s JELUS OF THEIR LUFF!
John: The man strapped me into a bomb vest!
Platinumgal: He did the same thing to a little boy! He stole the crown jewels for giggles! He made Sherlock...oh hang on- spoilers!
I cared about the two people who offered me a place to stay for cheap rent.
Who would have thought that two highly functioning sociopaths could develop feelings for each other?
Platinumgal: For all intents and purposes, they can’t. According to http://www.mcafee.cc , signs of a sociopath include
- Glibness and Superficial Charm
- Manipulative and Conning
- Grandiose Sense of Self
- Pathological Lying
- Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
- Shallow Emotions
- Incapacity for Love
- Need for Stimulation
Platinumgal: Just sayin’
I knew that they might not know exactly what they were and were probably shitting themselves inside but I noticed the love filled gazes
John: *laughs*
weren't that hard to miss. Lord, Lestrade could see them a mile off and he had managed to get lost on his way into work! Pair those with how close the two were and the fierce protectiveness that could only be described as jealously?
Why is it so obvious to everyone... except the two sharpest people who could solve the most gruesome murders from some of the tinniest details in a crime scene?
Sherlock: If you could point me to the other one I’d really appreciate it. No? Just me?
Platinumgal: *Tries to raise hand desperately*
Please Read And Review. I need to see if you like the re-write.
John: *Splutters* This was a rewrite?
Platinumgal: Luckily for you, the fic has recently been deleted, and this was the only chapter I had sense to save. All you need to know is that Luna proceeds to go to Asda, has an argument with Mycroft, watches a chick flick with Hayley and Sherlock, kisses the latter, later having sex with him...
Sherlock: WHAT!?
Platinumgal: Don’t worry, we don’t see that. Then John, Hayley and the reader are all: LOL! That was totes obviously going to happen! And we end with a title drop.
John:...Wow.
Sherlock: I don’t suppose there’s a way you can make us forget this ever happened?
Platinumgal: Well, why don't we have dinner?
*there is a very long, awkward pause*
Sherlock: Forget it. Just send us back.
Platinumgal: *sighs* Fine. Done. Do hurry back
Back to.... Reception
Back to.... Boardroom