Comments | platinummagic: Facade of the Wolf

platinummagic

Facade of the Wolf - Love Mode Fanfic

May 10, 2008 15:52

Author: PlatinumMagic
Beta: No beta sadly. TT_TT
Fandom: Love Mode
Genres: Romance
Pairing: Touma Suzuki X Kashima Shuuhei
Rating: PG13 (simply because it is shounen-ai.)
Warnings: Shounen-ai.
Summary: I think sageofzelda put it best: "We all know that Kashima simply can't be straight...at least not for much longer."
Disclaimer: Love Mode, Kashima and ( Read more... )

Comments 4

t_amara May 10 2008, 22:30:35 UTC

First comment by me? Here is is: WANT MORE!

This is riotously funny, mostly due to dear Shuuhei's semi-cluelessness. I'm glad that you don't have him too dim, he's way too smart a guy not to hear the more predatory hosts talking about, the prize mare comment is particulary apt. But not to realize that Touma is interested (he's really going to quite a bit of trouble for a just a work friend)... also, does he know that Touma's a retired host? (and why the retirement, hmmmmm?). I would also like to have been quitely observing Touma's conversation with his boss THROUGH the Kitten, he really has been paying attention to Kiichi's shameless manipulation of his not-a-morning-person brother. Kudos for the great setup - love the overlarge clothes showing off the normally buttomed up bod - and REALLY looking forward to the next bit. And one more comment - can't tell your missing a Beta, it's VERY well written, including typing.

platinummagic May 10 2008, 23:24:00 UTC

The first comment cookie goes to you! *hands you a cookie*

I'm so glad you like it! Shuuhei's such a sweetheart but I just can't help having some fun with him. I'll have to come up with a good reason for Touma's retirement, he's not very old so I'm not sure what it'll be yet but I'd like to explain it in the future some time. I'm kinda planning on maybe letting them meet up with Kiichi on their 'date' because I think it would be amusing. And thanks so much for saying it's good even with my betalessness, I'm always so worried I messed up somewhere! ^_^ Thanks for reading!

methos21 May 12 2008, 14:42:44 UTC

I liked part 4 a lot, too, and I must admit I´d really like to see a drawing of Touma´s "sexy seme pose". I agree with your reply that it would be fun to include Kiichi (because it alwyas is). I think it´s a really promising story, and I too would like to read more.
I think the way you described the bedroom was good, it reflects on Touma´s character ("tidy", good taste) and sets a certain mood (Touma is not going to rush things, even if he is rather foreward in calling in to get a day off for Kashima.)
I think the flow of the story is very good, not to fast, not to slow. So, if you´d be able to post the next part soon, I´d be really happy :-))
And I agree with t_amara that the missing beta isn´t really missing. Your style is good, I like it.

platinummagic May 13 2008, 02:38:59 UTC

If I only had artistic ability I would draw Touma in his seme pose. He'd do it so well and I can just picture his mischiveous smirk! I'm glad Touma comes across right. Shimizu-sensei didn't really dwell on him so I've gotten to take a lot of liberties to make him Shuuhei's prefect mate. I'm so happy you like the story and my style and I promise I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible!