Frozen Heart - Original Story
Author: PlatinumMagic
Beta: No beta for this one, was written on a whim.
Fandom: Original Fiction
Genres: Emotional
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Angst, in unusual dose for me.
Summary: How to freeze one's heart.
Disclaimer: I wrote this no one else has dibs on it.
I shiver as the wind beats against the window of my room. The storm outside is raging, a wall of winter white that blocks any vision of escape. I've been sitting in bed, my back pressed against the cold wall. I know I'm cold. My fingers went numb hours ago. But for a change, I don't try to fix it. I don't reach for the soft red comforter that is so close. I don't burrow down into my bed and pretend I can hibernate until the cold goes away.
I want to match for a change.
The way I figure, if I sit here long enough the cold that has been creeping up my bare arms will eventually reach my heart and slip it's freezing spell over it.
Maybe then I won't be lonely anymore.
Perhaps the cold that has slithered it's way up my bare legs over the last few hours will reach my core and finally cool my heated dreams.
Maybe that would be the end of my desires.
I try so hard. I press my bare shoulders into the wall, exchanging my heat for the wall's chill. I stare out the window, imagining myself being covered in the whiteness. I shiver as I drag frigid air into my lungs in unforgiving gasps.
I must freeze. I must become the ice. Hard and shining and untouchable. It's the only way.
The only way to save myself.
No one touches ice. No one wants to be cold.
No one except me.
I feel the icy claws sink into me, a greatly desired chill, and for once I am content.
Now I can be alone. Now no one will bother me. Now I can be strong.
Now I am shielded. Protected.
As I lay down on top of my comforter, I bask in my new found power. My breath no longer stirs the air to frost. My toes no longer ache from chill. My fingers no longer seek warmth. All is right. All is under my control. My heart is closed off. My desires stoppered.
I am my own.
But a small part of me realizes that spring always comes. The snow always melts. The heat always rises.
Someday that will happen to me. There will come a blaze, something I can't avoid. Something that starts to batter my shields. Something that demands to see my pitiful, frozen heart. Something that will take me in hand and warm me.
In the end there will be nothing but water where my shields were. My ice - my protection - will be gone.
My heart will restart.
My desires will unfurl.
And I'll be lost.
Beta: No beta for this one, was written on a whim.
Fandom: Original Fiction
Genres: Emotional
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Angst, in unusual dose for me.
Summary: How to freeze one's heart.
Disclaimer: I wrote this no one else has dibs on it.
I shiver as the wind beats against the window of my room. The storm outside is raging, a wall of winter white that blocks any vision of escape. I've been sitting in bed, my back pressed against the cold wall. I know I'm cold. My fingers went numb hours ago. But for a change, I don't try to fix it. I don't reach for the soft red comforter that is so close. I don't burrow down into my bed and pretend I can hibernate until the cold goes away.
I want to match for a change.
The way I figure, if I sit here long enough the cold that has been creeping up my bare arms will eventually reach my heart and slip it's freezing spell over it.
Maybe then I won't be lonely anymore.
Perhaps the cold that has slithered it's way up my bare legs over the last few hours will reach my core and finally cool my heated dreams.
Maybe that would be the end of my desires.
I try so hard. I press my bare shoulders into the wall, exchanging my heat for the wall's chill. I stare out the window, imagining myself being covered in the whiteness. I shiver as I drag frigid air into my lungs in unforgiving gasps.
I must freeze. I must become the ice. Hard and shining and untouchable. It's the only way.
The only way to save myself.
No one touches ice. No one wants to be cold.
No one except me.
I feel the icy claws sink into me, a greatly desired chill, and for once I am content.
Now I can be alone. Now no one will bother me. Now I can be strong.
Now I am shielded. Protected.
As I lay down on top of my comforter, I bask in my new found power. My breath no longer stirs the air to frost. My toes no longer ache from chill. My fingers no longer seek warmth. All is right. All is under my control. My heart is closed off. My desires stoppered.
I am my own.
But a small part of me realizes that spring always comes. The snow always melts. The heat always rises.
Someday that will happen to me. There will come a blaze, something I can't avoid. Something that starts to batter my shields. Something that demands to see my pitiful, frozen heart. Something that will take me in hand and warm me.
In the end there will be nothing but water where my shields were. My ice - my protection - will be gone.
My heart will restart.
My desires will unfurl.
And I'll be lost.