How Do You Take Offers that Don't Materialize

Jul 18, 2011 08:52

I've had a number of people who have said, "Hey, give me a call and let's do this!" or "I'll take care of this for you in the next day or two," or things along those lines ( Read more... )

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dcltdw July 18 2011, 16:52:03 UTC
What I've found is that some people are good at estimating their activity, and (hello, Tautology Man!) some are not.

I generally give up with those who are not. To me, that's the easy part. The hard part is not taking it personally. :) As in, I think it's okay to think "this person is unreliable in such-and-such ways" without also adding "and as a result, they are a bad, bad person".

The flip side is, I appreciate people who say, "Wow, dinner sounds fun! But not... for two months. Write me then?" In fact, today I had a calendar entry to ping such a friend. :)

So yeah, my answer is "disengagement sans bitterness". Definitely a work in progress.

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bichee_face July 18 2011, 16:54:57 UTC
People can be flaky, and it's rarely anything personal. We all have random crap that comes up. However, there's no harm in being honest about it (especially with a close friend) and saying, "I feel like I'm getting blown off when you continue making plans and not following up on them." That would be my approach, at least.

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labyrinthine_ July 19 2011, 03:05:35 UTC
I agree with the above: don't take it personally, because certainly it isn't, but feel free to let them know how these things affect you.

at any rate, it's good to see you posting again! :)

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