Keister Legacy | 1.O
LET ME START WITH A HANDFUL OF THINGS
first things first: not every update is going to be this long
you're WELCOME
secondly: this update is fucking ridiculous im stressed just thinking about it
thirdly (???): i suck at everything INCLUDING SIMS yet here i am
lets go
the way i do the cover images is probably going to change
every update so dont get too used to anything
ok lets kick this off
Meet Blake Keister (yes, keister as in butt)! She is cute, but it is
purely coincidental that she looks very much like Michael Cera.
I did not mean to do that. :( But she's still adorable!
Her stats and LTW and such are as follows:
And now let's get into it!
Built her a very tiny little shack in Veronaville. I am no good at budgeting,
so she ended up without a bed. Sorry, Blake. :(
First step to any successful legacy is to find a job! But I don't know much about
successful legacies because I've never had a successful legacy, and this
one will be no different!
Blake: Wow,thanks for the encouragement.
Found one in her career of choice the first time! AWESOME.
The bushes/flower combination look so pretty out here, but I end up
deleting the bushes later and replacing them with more flowers because
they were too much work, tbh.
Blake: Yes, Mom, I have a job and a house. ....... No, Mom I'm not going to
find a handsome man. ............. Because I'm gay, Mom.
Blake: What? You didn't know? Oh..... Well, whoops. Bye!
Later, Blake has a nice little nap on her couch and dreams of companionship.
Keep dreaming, cutie.
After her first night of work, she was able to afford a bed!
Blake: This is a luxury I have not previously known.
Her life is 100% boring. I feel like I should have waited a day or two to get
her a job because she has no time to find a girlfriend now!
What a lame ride.
First promotion!
Blake: What is a social life? I have no idea.
Blake: I am so, so, so lame....
Didn't know studying cleaning was that shocking, but okay.
Blake: THEY PUT WHAT IN THE MOP BUCKET?!
THIS JUST IN: BLAKE'S LIFE CONTINUES TO BE UNEVENTFUL.
I love that this is one of her fears, because tbh, I relate.
Forever skilling. Forever alone.
Another promotion, another lonely day.
Thanks to her diligence, Blake no longer rides a ball of dirt to work!
What's this...? A GIRL? An actual living, breathing GIRL?!
Blake: Chill. Just act natural. She's just a friend from work.
Gretchen: Thanks for inviting me over. I thought we were having dinner, though?
Blake: No, I am having dinner.
Gretchen: Oh, of course. My bad.... I'm just gonna make a quick bathroom run.
Gretchen: Wow, you're a real charmer, aren't you? Even took my seat while I was gone.
Blake: Don't get comfortable. I need you to leave anyway.
Blake is SUCH a sweetheart, obviously.
Right back to skilling.
I wanted this girl in the legacy so, so bad but the only time she ever stopped by
was when Blake was at work. I guess it was not meant to be. :(
Yet another promotion! She also brought a dude home from work. Cool to have friends,
but he's not what we're looking for, Blake!
She finally got a day off so I sent her to a random community lot.
This was the first beauty I saw! She had pretty okay features, so Blake went for it.
Blake: Hi, I'm Blake, and although I have a dude's name, I can assure you I am 100% woman.
Girl Whose Name I Forgot: Haha, okay, thanks. I didn't ask!
GWNIF: And then I stood up, and I was like, "Hey! Don't do th----"
Blake: Hold that thought! A girl with a much more interesting face just walked in
and I'm putting you on the back burner.
AAAAH. Her name is Pamela and I think I'm in love.
Blake: Listen, I just ditched a perfectly okay girl for you so please, please don't turn
me down. Please?
Pamela: Haha, we'll see!
At this point Blake's motives were tanked so I decided I would just call Pamela the next day.
Pamela wouldn't come over, so I called GWNIF.
And she wouldn't either, wow. Then I called Pamela again.
FINALLY GOT SOMEONE TO COME OVER.
Blake: So..... Earlier you didn't answer your phone..... You weren't with another girl, were you?
Pamela: Aaaw, that's so cute; you think you're the only person I'm seeing!
Blake: Haha, okay. I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that!
Blake: Let's just hug it out. Maybe I'll feel 'ya up a lil bit. We'll see.
Pamela: Or you know..... Don't do that.....
Blake: You're like, really pretty when you're rejecting all of my advances.
Pamela: You're kinda cute when you're desperate.
Blake looks especially like Michael Cera in this picture.
Harsh.
I ROCK.
At this point, I was getting desperate. I needed to get this legacy on the
fuckin' road and nothing was working, so I called the matchmaker. Seconds
after I made the call, Pamela called and asked Blake on a date!
So get ready for some pic spam of that!
And then something magical happened.....
SHE SAID YES.
Pamela brought some flowers for Blake. She's so cute!
Invited Pamela back over to do the whole wedding thing.
Pamela brought her good looks and 13,000 simoleons to the household. All hail Pamela.
Decorated the house a little more and added some essentials, then game Pamela a makeover.
She's so gorgeous; I love her.
Pamela: Blake... I think I want to have a baby.
Blake: Okay, that would be great, except for the fact that our genitalia are 100%
incompatible in that respect.
Pamela: Oh, come on. At least humor me.
Blake: Okay. I mean, I am pretty funny.
Pamela: Shut up and kiss me.
Spoiler alert... I heard lullabies.
I immediately forced Pamela to get a job because there will no freeloaders in this household.
Pamela: You literally cannot call me a freeloader. I literally brought 13,000 simoleons with me.
Shh, baby... Just look for a job...
Pamela: My stomach is not agreeing with something today.
I don't think that's the issue.
Pamela: I don't know what else it could be.
HMMM.
Pamela: I am just SO hungry lately! And tired and emotional. Must be that time of the month almost.
Blake: Yeah, most likely.
Pamela: What if I'm pregnant?
Blake: There's no way. That's literally impossible.
Pamela: Yeah, you're right!
Eheheheh.
Pamela: OH SHIT.
I don't have captions for any of these, truthfully.
Blake: I still don't know how the fuck you got pregnant, but I'm not one to
look a gift horse in the mouth!
Pamela: Surprisingly, I've been so energized! I think I'm nesting. I have so much motivation and en----
You were saying?
I'm a horrible person. A shitty excuse for a simmer. A piece of shit. I'm so sorry, Blake.
You worked so hard. I suck. I'm so sorry.
I'M SO SORRY.
Jumping right back on the horse, though. At least I don't have to worry about skilling for a while.
Pamela: BLAKE. HELP. ME.
Blake: Let me just make the bed.
Pamela: THIS FUCKING HURTS.
Blake: At least the bed is nice and tidy!
Looks like a clone of Pamela, but he's cute!
The larvae stage went by quickly and cutely.
Time to age up!
He looks like an old man, but okay. Got Blake's hair!
Blake is surprisingly good mother. Also, Byron looks hateful as FUCK.
Great idea, you two. You're like fucking rabbits.
Are you sad because your teeth are jutting through your chin? :(
Pamela: Can you say, "Mommy Pamela is the best Mommy"?
Byron: Teddy bear!
Pamela: CLOSE ENOUGH!
This is where shit starts to get real.
Blake made this face when she popped. I should have looked at this face and taken it
as a sign. I should have turned my game off right there without saving and walked away.
This facial expression was an omen.
From here on out, everything was shit.
The toilet was constantly broken.
Blake never made it to her bed.
She nearly starved 3 times.
Pamela was worn out from having to do absolutely everything because their nanny sucked.
Trash and dirty dishes littered the house.
And to top it all off, this asshole of a child doesn't like his mom.
Fuck you, Byron.
And then it happened.
It fucking happened.
IT FUCKING HAPPENED.
Meet Seth or Piper.
I don't know which one is which.
Fuck this.
Tune in next time to figure out how much of my hair I've ripped out.
Spoiler Alert: I'm going to be bald.