fuck everything

[plunderer01]

I'm tired of this. I can't express myself. I'm going to explode. I haven't done anything useful or interesting with my life. I'll never have a husband or boyfriend or kids. I have a lousy job and I have to work another job to make ends meet. My budget says I have enough, but at the end of the month, I have nothing because it's hard to control my

Comments

[plunderer01]

I've gone through three counselors, it doesn't seem to work. I clam up and I don't want to talk, and they won't prod, and it's frustrating. I need someone to make me talk. Really.

[mudg3t]

I wish I could help but I know that I can't do anything to make things better for you. The harsh reality is (and I'm sorry to say it) but the only person that can make things improve/turn things around is you...

Know that I'll always be an email away if you need to chat, unload or whatever. I know I'm not online much anymore because of work and for that I'm so sorry, but if you email me I'll get it.

I agree with ozqueen that you should speak with someone who can help you, if you're really feeling like there's no point to anything.

I think it might be that people don't know how to help you or what to say to comments like the above. Feeling helpless knowing a friend is hurting is really hard for a lot of people and often people can act in perhaps the wrong way. I'm not making excuses for them, just suggesting that it's not that they think it's "inappropriate", but more that they don't know how to react and feel helpless.

If you need me, you know where to find me. Sending lots of hugs and kisses and cuddles and kittens.

[plunderer01]

It's a Catch 22; if I'm the only person that can turn it around for myself, and I don't think it will work or I'm not worth it, then things don't get turned around. As I told Ozqueen up there, I need someone to force me to talk, or at least prod me to. I swing up and down in mood so much that I could walk into a therapist's office (and I have too) and feel just great and wonder why I'm there. The next day I could be shoving the barrel of a gun in my mouth. The swings are extreme and fast and something's gonna give eventually. I called a hotline once, but I can't be honest with them unless I want them to call the police. Which they did.