it's starting to hurt. everytime i breathe. everytime i try to leave.they ask me how i'm holding up, i say i'm holding out for the right words. can't you just give me a straight answer? these insecurities just won't leave me anymore. i think i've been quite clear, i'm standing still waiting for a sign. i've been capsized for so long ... have you ( Read more... )

i need changeno more dicking around for me. i've been going to university as if i'm in highschool still. never studying thinking the night before will be enough to get by. clearly i'm living in teenager land and my best isn't enough. i'm getting killed by this fucking bell curve where everyone clearly is smarter than me. when i think about what ( Read more... )

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something related to realityi come home from work on a good note. so close to a great note but not quite there. i'm satisfied. comfortable. secure... pleasant. then my parents come home and rip a few notes into my sister. time passes. i sit up in my room cramming for my midterms on wednesday. take a break. touch my dusty guitar. play a few notes - ( Read more... )

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i'd cry.
if you left something inside.
i'd feel so silly crying over this. over you.
i wish you never said those things to me. i wish you never filled me up with wishful thinking.
i wish you never made me believe there was a start. there wasn't even a way to begin.

too late.
i'm already crying.

slowly going crazy ( Read more... )

in the tradition of inspiration...i've decided that life is full of shit. it's not what movies or music builds it up to be. it's not a great fufilling story about love in unexpected places. life is this wheel we all take a turn spinning - sometimes we luck out. half the time we end up bankrupt. so lets all stop pretending like there's a rainbow ( Read more... )

i give up.i'm strange. and anti social. i pushed all my friends to the edge... watched them fall one by one. i always thought about saving them but i could never bring myself to reach out and grab them. i'm not who they want me to be. and they agree. i wish i could be that great fun crazy friend they can go to the bar with, meet different people ( Read more... )