Of course I also had to do the meme thing...
Rules are that you google You know you're from (whatever country you are from) and bold the stuff on the list that applies to you.
...you start believe that if it wasn't for Norway's efforts the world would collapse.
...you only buy your own drink at the bar even when you are with a group of people.
...you can't remember when to say "please" and "excuse me".
...you always prepare to catch the closing door if following closely behind somebody.
...a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a) he is drunk
b) insane
c) American
d) all of the above
...silence is fun.
...you use "Mmmm" as conversation filler.
...you actually believe that there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
...you know Norway's results in the last three years in the "Melodi Grand Prix" song contest (Eurovision Song Contest).
...it seems nice to spend a week in a small wooden cottage up in the mountains, with no running water and no electricity.
...you know at least five different words for describing different kinds of snow.
...an outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius ( 45F ) is mild in mid June.
-Actually, the other day, it was five degrees. In the end of july. Yeah.
...you know the difference between Blue and Red ski wax.
...you don't fall over when walking on ice.
...you associate Friday afternoon with a trip to the Government liquor store.
...you think nothing of paying $50 for a bottle of 'cheap' spirits at Vinmonopolet ("the wine monopoly").
...it's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00 and dinner at 15.00.
...it no longer seems excessive to spend $100 on drinks one night.
...you know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed".
...you find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than in the name of the wine.
...you enjoy the taste of lutefisk (jelly-like, bad-smelling fish) and cod prepared in any way, including fried cod tongues.
...you like to wrap your hotdog in a cold pancake.
-It's not a cold pancake, it's a lompe! They're made of potatoes, not flour.
...you associate warm rice porridge with Saturday and Xmas-eve.
...you can prepare fish in five different ways without cooking it.
...you wear sandals with socks.
...your wardrobe no longer has suits, but blue shirts and mustard coloured sportjackets.
...you don't look twice at business men in dark suits wearing sport socks.
...it feels natural to wear sport clothes and backpack everywhere, including the cinema, bowling alley, and to church.
...you find yourself speaking halfway Swedish with Swedes.
-Wholeway, since I'm actually Swedish.
...you can't understand why foreigners haven't heard about Bjorn Daehlie.
…you don’t question the habit of always making “matpakke” (sandwich in paper - some sort of lunch packet)
…you know the meaning of life has something to do with the word “koselig” (cosy)
…you get scared when a stranger randomly starts up a conversation with you.
…you can’t stand leaving the country because people everywhere else are so nice, it’s annoying.
…you look away when you walk by people on the street.
…you vigorously defend whaling and enjoy consuming whale meat.
-I'm actually vegetarian lol.
…you have two cars, a cabin and a boat, if not more.
…you think it's weird if a house isn't wooden.
…you earn more than you spend.
…you associate Easter with cross-country skiing with friends and family in the familys mountain cabin.
…you are shocked if it's not 2 months of snow every year, at least!
…you can see mountains and the ocean, no matter where you are.
…you expect all dinner parties and meetings to start precisely on time, if not before.
…you fall 3 meters, and don't get hurt. If you do, you're not worried at all.
…you get your hands on Norwegian chocolate and guard it with your life
…you are more afraid of the Customs than terrorists.
…you would rather miss your flight than not have enough time to buy the duty free alcohol quota.
…you order drinks at Gardemonen (Oslo Intl Airport) at 6 am
……you say ”oh well, down it goes” when served bad wine.
…you actually think that fishballs have taste.
…you barbecue when it’s raining.
…you have bad conscience if you’re not outside when it’s sunny
…you get dozy after only two days of sun
…you go for a swim when it’s only 12 degrees Celsius (53F) in the water and claims that it’s “fresh”
...in winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark - while only working eight-hour days.
...if there's a terrorist attack on the other side of the world, your first reaction is "oh my god, did any Norwegians get hurt?"
Also, since I'm swedish and spend 1/3 of the year there:
(Weather)
1. You are obsessed with weather.
2. You find it perfectly normal to ride a bike in a blizzard.
3. It's only a blizzard if you can't see your car in the drive because it's covered in snow.
4. You've worn a souwester (“sydväst”) without being a fisherman.
5. The first little bit of sun is out you go to the nearest park and you put on sunscreen factor 30 and a bikini while watching old ladies walk past in furry coats.
6. You find it normal to have the headlights of the car on at the brightest and sunniest of days.
7. You and your kids are the only ones in the playground wearing clothes according to weather.
8. You always go "That's not REAL snow" whenever it snows in countries that usually don't get snow.
9. You find it adorable when people from other countries get excited about a few milimetres of snow that only stays on the ground for a few hours.
10. You find it ridiculous schools in some other countries have to close if there comes more than five cm of snow on the roads during one night.
11. You constantly whine about the rain or the cold weather.
(What others say about the Swedish)
1. People ask you if you have polar bears on the streets and you try to spread the myth further by saying it is true.
2. You have been asked whether there is a “Swedish Bikini Team”.
3. You don't get why Non-swedes think it's odd that the sun stays up for about 24 hours in the summer.
4. You can't see what's so "cute" about writing 13:00 instead of 1 pm.
5. You think that Sweden is constantly in the news abroad and are surprised to find that this is not the case at all.
6. You seriously want to HURT Non-Swedes who ask 'how's life in SWITZERLAND?'
7. Non-Swedes laugh at you for wearing a bicycle helmet and you answer: "At least I won't be the one dying of a skull fracture".
8. People refuse to believe you're actually from Sweden because you're not platinum blonde with a Sven-Göran Ericsson accent.
9. You tell them your surname is Larsson and every Non-Swede automatically assumes you are related to Henrik Larsson.
10. Drunk Englishmen keep telling you how drunk Swedes usually are, in their experience, and you find it rather comforting to know that there are drunk English people keeping an eye out for us abroad!
(Misanchellous)
1. You have a summer house in the countryside. It has no running water or flushing toilet, but you can't understand why none of your non-Swedish friends want to visit.
2. The law in your country says it's legal to sell sex, but illegal to buy it.
3. You go downtown during a Sunday and don't expect to meet a single soul during a thirty minute walk.
4. You thought 'Aftonbladet' and 'Expressen' were full of silly news. Then you went abroad and found that many papers include nothing but naked women and sex.
5. In desperation you think you bought the wrong item because the condoms come in square packages instead of rectangular ones.
6. You have absolutely no idea what is meant by" Swedish massage" that keeps being advertised in spas all over the world.
7. You are constantly surprised that you are the tallest one in any given situation while abroad (some countries are exceptions of course).
8. You get chills down your spine thinking about the "Flour-tant".
9. Your parents pay you every month for not eating sweets for a year (or so).
10. You instinctively spot Swedes from a distance based on looks and what they're wearing and/or by the round pale mark in the pocket of their jeans (obviously they are anomalies- Norwegians or Finns at a push…)
11. You have been or know someone who has been an exchange student
12. You are amazed to find that other countries are not familiar with winter tires and 'halkbanor'.
13. You know an entire catalogue of “Bellman”- and “Norge” jokes.
14. You own more than 5 candles and light them daily.
15. Everyone owns at least one mobile phone, but there's no longer land line phones in all homes.
16. You think that v70R is the ultimate sportscar.
17. You know the population of your hometown quite accurately.
18. At the age of ten, you knew all twenty five counties of Sweden by heart, including every town with approximately more than five people in it. In other words, you’ve have had a good geographical education.
19. You wash your face in an English bathroom and get totally annoyed about the fact that you are either burning your face or putting a layer of ice on it! Therefore you rave to Non-Swedes about the superiority of only using one tap for both hot and cold water since "In the country where I come from, we have had one tap for both hot and cold water since the Medieval days!"
20. You can type in someone’s name on the internet and find out everything about them; phone numbers, see where they live and even see a picture of their front door.
21. You go to McDonalds & the staff work as elite models in their spare time.
22. When you tell Americans that you're Swedish and get thoroughly annoyed when they say "Me too!"
23. You have seen both your parents naked more than once.
24. You secretly consider Finland a part of Sweden and can't understand why they don't.
25. Your queen is from Germany.
26. Someone in your family or someone you know has a ping-pong table in their country house.
27. You find it normal to have the kitchen lamp hanging from a cord/string over your table instead of being attached directly to the ceiling.
28. You get homesick out of reading that list
29. You actually read all of these posts.
30. You would never ever admit to anything on this list (since that would make you “too” Swedish)
31. You have different sets of clothes for different halves of the year and rotate them in your wardrobe and storage rooms .
32. The hallway of your home looks like a used shoe store.
33. You unfourtunately realise that everything on this list is true.
...you start believe that if it wasn't for Norway's efforts the world would collapse.
...you only buy your own drink at the bar even when you are with a group of people.
...you can't remember when to say "please" and "excuse me".
...you always prepare to catch the closing door if following closely behind somebody.
...a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a) he is drunk
b) insane
c) American
d) all of the above
...silence is fun.
...you use "Mmmm" as conversation filler.
...you actually believe that there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
...you know Norway's results in the last three years in the "Melodi Grand Prix" song contest (Eurovision Song Contest).
...it seems nice to spend a week in a small wooden cottage up in the mountains, with no running water and no electricity.
...you know at least five different words for describing different kinds of snow.
...an outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius ( 45F ) is mild in mid June.
-Actually, the other day, it was five degrees. In the end of july. Yeah.
...you know the difference between Blue and Red ski wax.
...you don't fall over when walking on ice.
...you associate Friday afternoon with a trip to the Government liquor store.
...you think nothing of paying $50 for a bottle of 'cheap' spirits at Vinmonopolet ("the wine monopoly").
...it's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00 and dinner at 15.00.
...it no longer seems excessive to spend $100 on drinks one night.
...you know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed".
...you find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than in the name of the wine.
...you enjoy the taste of lutefisk (jelly-like, bad-smelling fish) and cod prepared in any way, including fried cod tongues.
...you like to wrap your hotdog in a cold pancake.
-It's not a cold pancake, it's a lompe! They're made of potatoes, not flour.
...you associate warm rice porridge with Saturday and Xmas-eve.
...you can prepare fish in five different ways without cooking it.
...you wear sandals with socks.
...your wardrobe no longer has suits, but blue shirts and mustard coloured sportjackets.
...you don't look twice at business men in dark suits wearing sport socks.
...it feels natural to wear sport clothes and backpack everywhere, including the cinema, bowling alley, and to church.
...you find yourself speaking halfway Swedish with Swedes.
-Wholeway, since I'm actually Swedish.
...you can't understand why foreigners haven't heard about Bjorn Daehlie.
…you don’t question the habit of always making “matpakke” (sandwich in paper - some sort of lunch packet)
…you know the meaning of life has something to do with the word “koselig” (cosy)
…you get scared when a stranger randomly starts up a conversation with you.
…you can’t stand leaving the country because people everywhere else are so nice, it’s annoying.
…you look away when you walk by people on the street.
…you vigorously defend whaling and enjoy consuming whale meat.
-I'm actually vegetarian lol.
…you have two cars, a cabin and a boat, if not more.
…you think it's weird if a house isn't wooden.
…you earn more than you spend.
…you associate Easter with cross-country skiing with friends and family in the familys mountain cabin.
…you are shocked if it's not 2 months of snow every year, at least!
…you can see mountains and the ocean, no matter where you are.
…you expect all dinner parties and meetings to start precisely on time, if not before.
…you fall 3 meters, and don't get hurt. If you do, you're not worried at all.
…you get your hands on Norwegian chocolate and guard it with your life
…you are more afraid of the Customs than terrorists.
…you would rather miss your flight than not have enough time to buy the duty free alcohol quota.
…you order drinks at Gardemonen (Oslo Intl Airport) at 6 am
……you say ”oh well, down it goes” when served bad wine.
…you actually think that fishballs have taste.
…you barbecue when it’s raining.
…you have bad conscience if you’re not outside when it’s sunny
…you get dozy after only two days of sun
…you go for a swim when it’s only 12 degrees Celsius (53F) in the water and claims that it’s “fresh”
...in winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark - while only working eight-hour days.
...if there's a terrorist attack on the other side of the world, your first reaction is "oh my god, did any Norwegians get hurt?"
Also, since I'm swedish and spend 1/3 of the year there:
(Weather)
1. You are obsessed with weather.
2. You find it perfectly normal to ride a bike in a blizzard.
3. It's only a blizzard if you can't see your car in the drive because it's covered in snow.
4. You've worn a souwester (“sydväst”) without being a fisherman.
5. The first little bit of sun is out you go to the nearest park and you put on sunscreen factor 30 and a bikini while watching old ladies walk past in furry coats.
6. You find it normal to have the headlights of the car on at the brightest and sunniest of days.
7. You and your kids are the only ones in the playground wearing clothes according to weather.
8. You always go "That's not REAL snow" whenever it snows in countries that usually don't get snow.
9. You find it adorable when people from other countries get excited about a few milimetres of snow that only stays on the ground for a few hours.
10. You find it ridiculous schools in some other countries have to close if there comes more than five cm of snow on the roads during one night.
11. You constantly whine about the rain or the cold weather.
(What others say about the Swedish)
1. People ask you if you have polar bears on the streets and you try to spread the myth further by saying it is true.
2. You have been asked whether there is a “Swedish Bikini Team”.
3. You don't get why Non-swedes think it's odd that the sun stays up for about 24 hours in the summer.
4. You can't see what's so "cute" about writing 13:00 instead of 1 pm.
5. You think that Sweden is constantly in the news abroad and are surprised to find that this is not the case at all.
6. You seriously want to HURT Non-Swedes who ask 'how's life in SWITZERLAND?'
7. Non-Swedes laugh at you for wearing a bicycle helmet and you answer: "At least I won't be the one dying of a skull fracture".
8. People refuse to believe you're actually from Sweden because you're not platinum blonde with a Sven-Göran Ericsson accent.
9. You tell them your surname is Larsson and every Non-Swede automatically assumes you are related to Henrik Larsson.
10. Drunk Englishmen keep telling you how drunk Swedes usually are, in their experience, and you find it rather comforting to know that there are drunk English people keeping an eye out for us abroad!
(Misanchellous)
1. You have a summer house in the countryside. It has no running water or flushing toilet, but you can't understand why none of your non-Swedish friends want to visit.
2. The law in your country says it's legal to sell sex, but illegal to buy it.
3. You go downtown during a Sunday and don't expect to meet a single soul during a thirty minute walk.
4. You thought 'Aftonbladet' and 'Expressen' were full of silly news. Then you went abroad and found that many papers include nothing but naked women and sex.
5. In desperation you think you bought the wrong item because the condoms come in square packages instead of rectangular ones.
6. You have absolutely no idea what is meant by" Swedish massage" that keeps being advertised in spas all over the world.
7. You are constantly surprised that you are the tallest one in any given situation while abroad (some countries are exceptions of course).
8. You get chills down your spine thinking about the "Flour-tant".
9. Your parents pay you every month for not eating sweets for a year (or so).
10. You instinctively spot Swedes from a distance based on looks and what they're wearing and/or by the round pale mark in the pocket of their jeans (obviously they are anomalies- Norwegians or Finns at a push…)
11. You have been or know someone who has been an exchange student
12. You are amazed to find that other countries are not familiar with winter tires and 'halkbanor'.
13. You know an entire catalogue of “Bellman”- and “Norge” jokes.
14. You own more than 5 candles and light them daily.
15. Everyone owns at least one mobile phone, but there's no longer land line phones in all homes.
16. You think that v70R is the ultimate sportscar.
17. You know the population of your hometown quite accurately.
18. At the age of ten, you knew all twenty five counties of Sweden by heart, including every town with approximately more than five people in it. In other words, you’ve have had a good geographical education.
19. You wash your face in an English bathroom and get totally annoyed about the fact that you are either burning your face or putting a layer of ice on it! Therefore you rave to Non-Swedes about the superiority of only using one tap for both hot and cold water since "In the country where I come from, we have had one tap for both hot and cold water since the Medieval days!"
20. You can type in someone’s name on the internet and find out everything about them; phone numbers, see where they live and even see a picture of their front door.
21. You go to McDonalds & the staff work as elite models in their spare time.
22. When you tell Americans that you're Swedish and get thoroughly annoyed when they say "Me too!"
23. You have seen both your parents naked more than once.
24. You secretly consider Finland a part of Sweden and can't understand why they don't.
25. Your queen is from Germany.
26. Someone in your family or someone you know has a ping-pong table in their country house.
27. You find it normal to have the kitchen lamp hanging from a cord/string over your table instead of being attached directly to the ceiling.
28. You get homesick out of reading that list
29. You actually read all of these posts.
30. You would never ever admit to anything on this list (since that would make you “too” Swedish)
31. You have different sets of clothes for different halves of the year and rotate them in your wardrobe and storage rooms .
32. The hallway of your home looks like a used shoe store.
33. You unfourtunately realise that everything on this list is true.