A song parody for Black Friday
(Roughly to the tune of "Signs" by the Five Man Electrical Band)
And the line stretched through the store when I clocked in today
It was wall to wall with people, going shopping on Black Friday
It was Chaos Central at the Fabric Store, with tempers wearing thin
So I grabbed my apron and nametag and got ready to dive in
Line, line, everywhere a line
Blocking up the aisles and breaking my mind
Buy this, don’t buy that, gotta wait in line.
From the line stepped a customer with about twenty-nine bolts of fleece
“I’m making blankets for Christmas, and I need three yards of each
And I’ve got ten bolts of brocade for making shirts and sarongs
So I need five yards of each, now tell me, what is taking so long?!”
Line, line, everywhere a line
Blocking up the aisles and breaking my mind
Buy this, don’t buy that, gotta wait in line.
Now hey there, Mister, can’t you read?
The sign says “Half Off, Limit Three”
You can’t buy those fifty-five
You must leave some for others
And the line stretched on and on and on throughout the store…
When the line slowed, my boss came up and told me “Take your break”
So I went back and put my feet up, oh boy did my dogs ache
Those fifteen minutes were heaven-sent, but they went by much too fast
Now I’m back on the floor and facing the lines and wondering if I’ll last
Line, line, everywhere a line
Blocking up the aisles and breaking my mind
Buy this, don’t buy that, gotta wait in line.
And the line stretched through the store when I clocked in today
It was wall to wall with people, going shopping on Black Friday
It was Chaos Central at the Fabric Store, with tempers wearing thin
So I grabbed my apron and nametag and got ready to dive in
Line, line, everywhere a line
Blocking up the aisles and breaking my mind
Buy this, don’t buy that, gotta wait in line.
From the line stepped a customer with about twenty-nine bolts of fleece
“I’m making blankets for Christmas, and I need three yards of each
And I’ve got ten bolts of brocade for making shirts and sarongs
So I need five yards of each, now tell me, what is taking so long?!”
Line, line, everywhere a line
Blocking up the aisles and breaking my mind
Buy this, don’t buy that, gotta wait in line.
Now hey there, Mister, can’t you read?
The sign says “Half Off, Limit Three”
You can’t buy those fifty-five
You must leave some for others
And the line stretched on and on and on throughout the store…
When the line slowed, my boss came up and told me “Take your break”
So I went back and put my feet up, oh boy did my dogs ache
Those fifteen minutes were heaven-sent, but they went by much too fast
Now I’m back on the floor and facing the lines and wondering if I’ll last
Line, line, everywhere a line
Blocking up the aisles and breaking my mind
Buy this, don’t buy that, gotta wait in line.