A chilling reminder

[pocketnaomi]

A newspaper article riveted my attention this morning... about the sentencing of a Texas woman who murdered her young son by suffocation. In it, the remorseful mother said, "I am very sorry to have caused the intense pain and suffering to my precious son Camden. He did nothing whatsoever to deserve that by my hand... My sorrow is intense and

Comments

[catsittingstill]

I have been thinking for some time that it's such a pity this happened to you. It's pity it happened at all, or to anyone, but in particular it is a pity it happened to you, with your phobia.

You have every right to be wary, and I quite understand why it is so much on your mind. I just wish I could make things better for you.

*sad hugs*

[pocketnaomi]

Thank you. *hugs* It means a lot to hear you say that. I feel so abandoned by nearly everyone; even my father. Not quite everyone, mdlbear and technoshaman have been staunch. But I've lost a lot of other friends for daring accuse her, and I feel very alone.

[otherdeb]

For what it's worth, you have not lost me.

*hugs*

[thatcrazycajun]

>>For what it's worth, you have not lost me.<<

Or me, shocked though I may be at hearing this behavior attributed to the person in question. If you'll have me as a friend, you've got me...for life. That goes for the Songbird too, I feel safe in saying.

[mdlbear]

As my parents told me often enough, "just being sorry doesn't help".

[admnaismith]

My experience is, everyone has what I call a "streak of the dark" running through them. Some have a little, some have a lot. But it's part of them, and it urges them to do Bad Things

[mdlbear]

I found it really easy to understand and appreciate that her dark side came out when she got angry. I've seen it happen. I've seen my dark side come out; it scared the hell out of me. But I was still me when it happened, and I learned from it.

She took me off her friends list when I tried to tell her that she wasn't still "her" when she attacked Naomi, and that she couldn't control that dark side without acknowledging that, and that what she did has consequences, damn it. She keeps insisting that she means no harm, and therefore the protective order isn't needed. That's where I get off.

I've come to realize that the "real" C, who I thought was my friend, maybe wasn't even there to begin with. It's saddening.

[admnaismith]

It scares me to see mine, too. To anyone who hasn't surrendered to it completely, it is horrifying to stare into oneself and know that one is capable of evil.

It is so horrifying that it is tempting to deny that it's there. Which, as C is discovering, doesn't work. It also doesn't work to try to beat that shadow into submission. It's there below the surface and it WILL be heard.

I find that sometimes, I just have to get to a safe place, away from others, and sort of poke at that part of me, acknowledge that it's there, and...tame it. Maybe something else works for other people.

While she's doing what doesn't work, the protective order is necessary. But all that other stuff, those things that made us all love and admire C for years, that's real and definitely there, too. Some day she'll be ready to really work on healing herself and taming the viciousness. Not sure if there's anything we can do until then.

You will always have the music. (hug)

[mdlbear]

Thanks *hug*

Yes, we'll always have the music. And the memories.

I nearly said "we'll always have Paris." But that's another movie altogether.

[batyatoon]

*hugs you so much*

[pocketnaomi]

*hugs back* I wish I lived closer to you.

[smlmendedcorner]

*hugs*

[pocketnaomi]

Thank you. *hugs back*

It was a good birthday. That's enough to make some of this recede a bit, even though pretty clearly the related PTSD is going to be with me for awhile.