An apology, to the friends who clearly ARE here

[pocketnaomi]

I said this in the comment thread in a different post, but I wanted to make sure it was more visible.

...you're absolutely right that the fear and pain are distorting my impressions. I'm sorry if I wasn't thinking clearly enough to label this post specifically, so people would know that this was how I felt more than how I think. Truth is, I not

Comments

[joecoustic]

I'm so glad to hear this and see that you are trying not to get stuck down a rabbit-hole, though I realize it terribly hard.

All I can offer you are *hugs* but you are welcome to them.

[katyhh]

I am immensely glad to see this post. This is way more the Naomi I thought I had met. While I understand how difficult it must be to be centered under the current circumstance, I am very very glad to see that you still manage once you take a moment to think and breathe.
*hugs and healing wishes, and yes, I know it can take a long time*

[pocketnaomi]

Thanks. I wouldn't say I'm centered yet -- that's more difficult and will probably take way longer. I won't consider myself centered until I can read comments without crying every time, no matter what it is they say. But I've got my priorities back in focus, and even if I still have absolutely no idea how I'm going to reach them, I'm back to heading in the right direction.

[bardling]

Yup, this.

Also: It's ok and normal to feel overwhelmed in a situation like yours, and to succumb to that feeling sometimes. Don't beat yourself up over that. Thankfully, you are able to pull out of that, still, as this post bears witness. And that is admirable. And good. :) *hugs*

[pocketnaomi]

As a good friend said privately, it's pretty normal to feel moments of overwhelm and despair in this situation. They're 'moments', though, not all the time.

[kyrielle]

**hugs**

I don't know what to say, beyond lots of hugs.

[pocketnaomi]

Thank you. *hugs* You've been one of the people who's been supportive from the beginning and I really appreciate it. I didn't mean to ignore you or the others when I said I felt alone, it's just really hard to keep up the cheerful face sometimes.

[kyrielle]

I never felt that you did. Had I lived in Seattle I might have, but since I don't live in or near Seattle, the one entry that I might have read that way *patently* didn't apply to me.

I don't have an experience like this, and even if I did I would not know what it felt like to be you. But I have felt alone while knowing, intellectually, that I was not - so while I don't have any reason to believe the experience is the same, I do have the knowledge that it's possible to feel that way without meaning to slight anyone who is being, or trying to be, supportive.

*hugs*

[pocketnaomi]

*nod* I think everyone's had some times of feeling alone even when there are people who are there for them. It's not fun.

[firecat]

I really admire how you're dealing with this situation. I hope you find the local support that would help you.

[pocketnaomi]

Thank you. I don't feel either very admired or very admirable right now, and I appreciate the vote of confidence.

[mdlbear]

You are, though. Both.