[One-shot] The worst first impression
The worst first impression
Ebi/HSJ - Tottsu-centric, Hasshi/Takaki
1268 words, PG-13, Team Stupid AU
Tottsu finds a naked boy handcuffed to his toilet. He kind of needs to pee.
Team Stupid AU! Which is basically a spoof-y type AU based off of what I think living on campus seems like (lmao u_u;;;) Created with tottchupi, we use tfln.com as inspiration and it's utterly ridiculous. 8D/
It was 7:30 on a Saturday morning and it took Totsuka Shouta a good ten minutes to figure out what he was doing awake before noon. Mid-semester, and with mountains of homework, almost every student figuratively died on weekends after celebrating their temporary freedom the night before. Totsuka (more commonly known as a ‘Tottsu’ amongst his friends) wasn’t one to party often, but he did enjoy the few extra hours of sleep. But awake Tottsu was, due to the strong call of nature.
Stumbling out of bed, Tottsu pushed sleep-mussed hair out of his face, rubbing his eyes as he hobbled his way out of his room, heading for the bathroom, taking a mental inventory of his roommates. Kawai’s door was open wide - the guy probably wasn’t even home, bunking at a friend’s or with anyone, really. Tsukada’s door was shut, but Tottsu knew the guy had been around before he’d gone to bed. Hashimoto’s (Hasshi, the freshman they’d somehow been lumped with) door was open a crack, but Tottsu wasn’t quite sure if that meant he was home or not, since the kid had run off with Kawai the day before. He’d have to check later.
The apartment he shared with the other three was a nice, comfortable campus-housed apartment, one that Tottsu had learned to navigate it with his eyes closed. It was why he was well into the apartment bathroom before he remembered to flick the light switch on.
Only to nearly jump out of his skin when he realized he wasn’t alone in the bathroom.
Definitely not alone. He took in the sight, trying to calm his racing heart as he realized that though he had no idea who the guy in his bathroom was, he was also harmless.
This probably had something to do with the fact that the unknown boy was handcuffed to the toilet. And he was naked.
Totsuka stared down at the floor for a few moments, trying to not stare at the boy himself (he was unconscious still, thank god), while he figured out what he was supposed to do with an unidentified and very naked male chained to the toilet that he still very desperately needed to use.
Besides being naked (sans handcuffs) and young, the boy had fluffy brown hair, obscured half of his face, but from what Tottsu could tell, he looked cute enough - this somehow vaguely explained why he might have ended up here in the middle of the night. What he couldn’t fathom was how the boy could possibly sleep in that position, arms half-stretched out behind him, legs tucked up between him and the opposite wall, but after another glance around, Tottsu found a couple beer bottles stashed near the other’s ankles.
“Kawai Fumito, I am going to murder you,” he swore under his breath, backing out of the bathroom, hesitating before leaving the light on. Who else would have been stupid enough to bring someone back and leave them there?
He made a beeline for Kawai’s room, but was met with a problem when he realized Kawai really wasn’t home, his bed unmade, but definitely empty. Backtracking out of Kawai’s room, Tottsu found himself right back at square one of ‘There’s a naked boy in my bathroom and I didn’t put him there’.
Tsuka hadn’t either… and he highly doubted that Kawai had come back, horsed around with someone in the bathroom, and left for more adventures. It left him with one last option.
Hasshi?
Almost cautiously, Tottsu turned to where the youngest member resided. Hasshi wasn’t the brightest light bulb, but he was passionate and enthusiastic, determined in a rather charming fashion. Tottsu was actually rather fond of him, but that was exactly why he couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the idea that the boy in the bathroom had something to do with Hasshi.
(But Hasshi had bounced out of the apartment on Kawai’s heels, off to one of Goseki’s parties.)
To Hasshi’s door it was, gently knocking since it was mostly shut. Without a response, he gently pushed the door open, revealing the last occupant of the apartment.
While Hasshi was the only freshman and the youngest by a good two years, he was also the largest, easily broader in the shoulders than Kawai could ever hope to be and something like ten centimeters taller than the world (but really just the apartment). With a face that never got him carded and the friendliest disposition ever, he was a favorite among the party crowd.
He just had never brought anyone back to the apartment before and Tottsu was a little queasy thinking about what Hasshi has been up to that lead to someone getting handcuffed to the toilet.
Hasshi was sprawled out on top of his bed, face down and snoring. He was shirtless and his jeans were still on, and Tottsu kind of wanted to die on the spot when he realized the red lines running down Hasshi’s back were scratch marks.
Focus, Shouta, he told himself. Naked kid in the bathroom. Naked kid in the bathroom.
He cleared his throat, loudly. “Hasshi?”
“Mmpphhfsss?” Hasshi grunted at him, not moving a muscle.
“Hasshi, there’s uh, a kid? Kinda handcuffed to the toilet?” Tottsu tried not to think about what had become of his Saturday morning, but he really needed to go.
Hasshi didn’t lift his face, just groaned again and fumbled at his pockets. A moment later, a key came flying across the room, hitting the door. As Tottsu picked it up, he was pretty sure Hasshi was already asleep again.
But with key in hand (hopefully the right key) Tottsu returned to the bathroom. Naked Guy hadn’t moved an inch, still fast asleep, and Tottsu gingerly worked to where he could uncuff the guy, trying not to touch too much of anything. Lucky for him, the key was the right one and he’d released the guy after a bit of fiddling.
Unsure of what else to do, he shook Naked Guy’s shoulder. “Uhm…”
“Nnghhhhm,” Naked Guy groaned at him, but actually began stirring. Tottsu sat back, still trying to not touch or look at anything much.
“Fucking fuck,” the guy groaned, stretching his arms a little before clutching his head. “It’s too early.”
“Yeah, well…” Awkward didn’t begin to cover it, but awkward was also Tottsu’s groin. “Listen, dude, I don’t know what you got up to last night, but I sort of need to go.”
“What?” the guy said, bleary and half-grumpy, before he looked around and seemed to take in where he was. “Oh. My bad.”
With a couple more ‘fucks’ and some shuffling, Naked Guy pulled himself to his feet, picking up the beer bottles and the key as well. “Sorry, man,” he mumbled, looking at Tottsu with both a grimace and a smile. “Thought we were still at… at… Kitayama’s. My bad.”
Without another word and still naked as the way he was born, the guy walked out of the bathroom, stumbling towards the door of the apartment, and then was out of sight.
“Whaaaaaaat the hell,” Tottsu said, staring after him. But the door was shut and there wasn’t another sound, as if the rest of the complex was still asleep (and probably they still were, it wasn’t even 8AM yet.)
It was by far the weirdest morning Tottsu had ever had before, weirder than that time he’d found Tsuka and Kawai dressed up as nuns, sleeping in the kitchen, but he couldn’t even really give a damn, now that the bathroom was empty and all his.
At least there was that.
♦♦♦♦
Notes: Takaki is obvs Naked Guy and he will be mortified muchly the next time he meets Tottsu (sober)
Goseki is the only member of Ebi not living in this particular apartment, he shares one with Fujigaya, Kitayama, and Yokoo. He throws parties and has the largest pile of blackmail photos on campus.
Ebi/HSJ - Tottsu-centric, Hasshi/Takaki
1268 words, PG-13, Team Stupid AU
Tottsu finds a naked boy handcuffed to his toilet. He kind of needs to pee.
Team Stupid AU! Which is basically a spoof-y type AU based off of what I think living on campus seems like (lmao u_u;;;) Created with tottchupi, we use tfln.com as inspiration and it's utterly ridiculous. 8D/
It was 7:30 on a Saturday morning and it took Totsuka Shouta a good ten minutes to figure out what he was doing awake before noon. Mid-semester, and with mountains of homework, almost every student figuratively died on weekends after celebrating their temporary freedom the night before. Totsuka (more commonly known as a ‘Tottsu’ amongst his friends) wasn’t one to party often, but he did enjoy the few extra hours of sleep. But awake Tottsu was, due to the strong call of nature.
Stumbling out of bed, Tottsu pushed sleep-mussed hair out of his face, rubbing his eyes as he hobbled his way out of his room, heading for the bathroom, taking a mental inventory of his roommates. Kawai’s door was open wide - the guy probably wasn’t even home, bunking at a friend’s or with anyone, really. Tsukada’s door was shut, but Tottsu knew the guy had been around before he’d gone to bed. Hashimoto’s (Hasshi, the freshman they’d somehow been lumped with) door was open a crack, but Tottsu wasn’t quite sure if that meant he was home or not, since the kid had run off with Kawai the day before. He’d have to check later.
The apartment he shared with the other three was a nice, comfortable campus-housed apartment, one that Tottsu had learned to navigate it with his eyes closed. It was why he was well into the apartment bathroom before he remembered to flick the light switch on.
Only to nearly jump out of his skin when he realized he wasn’t alone in the bathroom.
Definitely not alone. He took in the sight, trying to calm his racing heart as he realized that though he had no idea who the guy in his bathroom was, he was also harmless.
This probably had something to do with the fact that the unknown boy was handcuffed to the toilet. And he was naked.
Totsuka stared down at the floor for a few moments, trying to not stare at the boy himself (he was unconscious still, thank god), while he figured out what he was supposed to do with an unidentified and very naked male chained to the toilet that he still very desperately needed to use.
Besides being naked (sans handcuffs) and young, the boy had fluffy brown hair, obscured half of his face, but from what Tottsu could tell, he looked cute enough - this somehow vaguely explained why he might have ended up here in the middle of the night. What he couldn’t fathom was how the boy could possibly sleep in that position, arms half-stretched out behind him, legs tucked up between him and the opposite wall, but after another glance around, Tottsu found a couple beer bottles stashed near the other’s ankles.
“Kawai Fumito, I am going to murder you,” he swore under his breath, backing out of the bathroom, hesitating before leaving the light on. Who else would have been stupid enough to bring someone back and leave them there?
He made a beeline for Kawai’s room, but was met with a problem when he realized Kawai really wasn’t home, his bed unmade, but definitely empty. Backtracking out of Kawai’s room, Tottsu found himself right back at square one of ‘There’s a naked boy in my bathroom and I didn’t put him there’.
Tsuka hadn’t either… and he highly doubted that Kawai had come back, horsed around with someone in the bathroom, and left for more adventures. It left him with one last option.
Hasshi?
Almost cautiously, Tottsu turned to where the youngest member resided. Hasshi wasn’t the brightest light bulb, but he was passionate and enthusiastic, determined in a rather charming fashion. Tottsu was actually rather fond of him, but that was exactly why he couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the idea that the boy in the bathroom had something to do with Hasshi.
(But Hasshi had bounced out of the apartment on Kawai’s heels, off to one of Goseki’s parties.)
To Hasshi’s door it was, gently knocking since it was mostly shut. Without a response, he gently pushed the door open, revealing the last occupant of the apartment.
While Hasshi was the only freshman and the youngest by a good two years, he was also the largest, easily broader in the shoulders than Kawai could ever hope to be and something like ten centimeters taller than the world (but really just the apartment). With a face that never got him carded and the friendliest disposition ever, he was a favorite among the party crowd.
He just had never brought anyone back to the apartment before and Tottsu was a little queasy thinking about what Hasshi has been up to that lead to someone getting handcuffed to the toilet.
Hasshi was sprawled out on top of his bed, face down and snoring. He was shirtless and his jeans were still on, and Tottsu kind of wanted to die on the spot when he realized the red lines running down Hasshi’s back were scratch marks.
Focus, Shouta, he told himself. Naked kid in the bathroom. Naked kid in the bathroom.
He cleared his throat, loudly. “Hasshi?”
“Mmpphhfsss?” Hasshi grunted at him, not moving a muscle.
“Hasshi, there’s uh, a kid? Kinda handcuffed to the toilet?” Tottsu tried not to think about what had become of his Saturday morning, but he really needed to go.
Hasshi didn’t lift his face, just groaned again and fumbled at his pockets. A moment later, a key came flying across the room, hitting the door. As Tottsu picked it up, he was pretty sure Hasshi was already asleep again.
But with key in hand (hopefully the right key) Tottsu returned to the bathroom. Naked Guy hadn’t moved an inch, still fast asleep, and Tottsu gingerly worked to where he could uncuff the guy, trying not to touch too much of anything. Lucky for him, the key was the right one and he’d released the guy after a bit of fiddling.
Unsure of what else to do, he shook Naked Guy’s shoulder. “Uhm…”
“Nnghhhhm,” Naked Guy groaned at him, but actually began stirring. Tottsu sat back, still trying to not touch or look at anything much.
“Fucking fuck,” the guy groaned, stretching his arms a little before clutching his head. “It’s too early.”
“Yeah, well…” Awkward didn’t begin to cover it, but awkward was also Tottsu’s groin. “Listen, dude, I don’t know what you got up to last night, but I sort of need to go.”
“What?” the guy said, bleary and half-grumpy, before he looked around and seemed to take in where he was. “Oh. My bad.”
With a couple more ‘fucks’ and some shuffling, Naked Guy pulled himself to his feet, picking up the beer bottles and the key as well. “Sorry, man,” he mumbled, looking at Tottsu with both a grimace and a smile. “Thought we were still at… at… Kitayama’s. My bad.”
Without another word and still naked as the way he was born, the guy walked out of the bathroom, stumbling towards the door of the apartment, and then was out of sight.
“Whaaaaaaat the hell,” Tottsu said, staring after him. But the door was shut and there wasn’t another sound, as if the rest of the complex was still asleep (and probably they still were, it wasn’t even 8AM yet.)
It was by far the weirdest morning Tottsu had ever had before, weirder than that time he’d found Tsuka and Kawai dressed up as nuns, sleeping in the kitchen, but he couldn’t even really give a damn, now that the bathroom was empty and all his.
At least there was that.
♦♦♦♦
Notes: Takaki is obvs Naked Guy and he will be mortified muchly the next time he meets Tottsu (sober)
Goseki is the only member of Ebi not living in this particular apartment, he shares one with Fujigaya, Kitayama, and Yokoo. He throws parties and has the largest pile of blackmail photos on campus.